Corrupt My Wish

[Mister Tee]

Granted, but you've also acquired a nasty habit of cutting yourself for pleasure, giving yourself forced enemas, and learning all of the Catholic guilt trip manuals.

 

I wish it was Summer already.

[BeniciaRT_GT]

I wish it was Summer already.

 

Granted, but it is a summer of love with Cloris and Phylis and you can't seem to leave the house and get away...

 

 

I wish I could make a living riding my motorcycle in all 50 states.

[ltljohn]

I wish it was Summer already.

 

Granted, but it is a summer of love with Cloris and Phylis and you can't seem to leave the house and get away...

 

 

I wish I could make a living riding my motorcycle in all 50 states.

 

Granted , but it is a meager living and all you can afford to ride is a 1957 vespa.

 

I wish people would quit making last minute "must have" changes to my schedule at work

[BFish]

I wish it was Summer already.

 

Granted, but it is a summer of love with Cloris and Phylis and you can't seem to leave the house and get away...

 

 

I wish I could make a living riding my motorcycle in all 50 states.

 

Granted , but it is a meager living and all you can afford to ride is a 1957 vespa.

 

I wish people would quit making last minute "must have" changes to my schedule at work

 

granted, but at least you have a work schedule

 

i wish i slept better most nights.

[beemerman2k]

i wish i slept better most nights.

 

Granted.

 

But wait, looks like the wife is still up and entertaining company! The milk man?! Hey, at least you're getting your sleep.

 

I wish I was touring Mumbai, India (all the coverage actually makes me want to visit!)

[Mister Tee]

Granted, but the terrorists mistake you for the Tee, and lock you in a room with Cloris Leachman AND Phyllis Diller for a solid week.

 

I wish it were Wednesday already.

[Aluminum_Butt]

I wish it were Wednesday already.

 

Granted. But you have a bad case of amnesia about Monday and Tuesday, and now sexually-explicit pictures of you with Cloris Leachman and Phyllis Diller are beginning to surface in the media.

 

I wish I knew how to work on cars.

[Albert]

I wish it were Wednesday already.

 

Granted. But you have a bad case of amnesia about Monday and Tuesday, and now sexually-explicit pictures of you with Cloris Leachman and Phyllis Diller are beginning to surface in the media.

 

I wish I knew how to work on cars.

 

Granted, that's the good news. The bad news is now your car breaks every day.

 

I wish that my retirement plan, since the crash, wasn't based mostly on Powerball results.

[BFish]

I wish it were Wednesday already.

 

Granted. But you have a bad case of amnesia about Monday and Tuesday, and now sexually-explicit pictures of you with Cloris Leachman and Phyllis Diller are beginning to surface in the media.

 

I wish I knew how to work on cars.

 

Granted, that's the good news. The bad news is now your car breaks every day.

 

I wish that my retirement plan, since the crash, wasn't based mostly on Powerball results.

 

granted, but if you marry cloris leachman you'll be set for life

 

i wish the a**hole(s) who purposely ran over a doe and a yearling in front of my house yesterday am (discovered as i rode my moto down the driveway) had lost control and tried to kill a tree as well. sorry, but i was pissed.

[Matts_12GS]

i wish the a**hole(s) who purposely ran over a doe and a yearling in front of my house yesterday am (discovered as i rode my moto down the driveway) had lost control and tried to kill a tree as well. sorry, but i was pissed.

 

 

Granted, but the gas from their tank killed all your grass.

 

I wish the Judge had taken Office Obie's 27 8x10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one as evidence

[ltljohn]

Quote I wish the Judge had taken Office Obie's 27 8x10 color glossy photos with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one as evidence Quote

 

 

 

Granted, but they are used against you and you now have 500 hours of community service picking up trash.

 

I wish Saturday's high temperature was going to be higher than 35F.

[Pennys Dad]

Grant but the increase in temperature causes a freak high/low pressure front which spawns a tornado that lands just close enough to cause an air suction event that SUCKS up all your motorcycle keys and leaves you driving the cage to the dealership to get spares ordered in, which will come from Germany.

 

I wish it was may and time to ride to Torrey.

[Mister Tee]

Granted, but since you skipped Christmas, you never received the new HP2 Sport you would have gotten as as gift from Brook Shields, who you likewise would have met randomly at Beverly Hills a few days from now. So you will have to settle for Cloris Leachman, who gives you Phyllis Diller as a gift. And both of them have... been around a lot lately.

 

I wish I could sleep, so I don't have to make stupid posts at 3:30 a.m. before my buzz wears off.

[Huzband]

 

I wish I could sleep, so I don't have to make stupid posts at 3:30 a.m. before my buzz wears off.

 

Granted, but now all your dreams involve you with, you guessed it, Cloris & Phyllis.

 

I wish I could come up with that elusive invention will set us financially for the rest of our long lives.

[ltljohn]

 

I wish I could sleep, so I don't have to make stupid posts at 3:30 a.m. before my buzz wears off.

 

Granted, but now all your dreams involve you with, you guessed it, Cloris & Phyllis.

 

I wish I could come up with that elusive invention will set us financially for the rest of our long lives.

 

Granted, but your lawyer steals your patent and gets fabulously rich and you are now too poor to own anything but a '57 vespa.

 

I wish I was Danny's lawyer.

[Paul Mihalka]

 

Granted, but your lawyer steals your patent and gets fabulously rich and you are now too poor to own anything but a '57 vespa.

 

I wish I was Danny's lawyer.

Granted - but I'm unable to corrupt it. I can't think of anything worse than that!

[BeniciaRT_GT]

Granted - but I'm unable to corrupt it. I can't think of anything worse than that!

 

Don't forget, he actually has a wife, God Bless her!

 

 

[Huzband]

Granted - but I'm unable to corrupt it. I can't think of anything worse than that!

 

Don't forget, he actually has a wife, God Bless her!

 

 

I think I need to start my own list.

[ltljohn]

 

Granted, but your lawyer steals your patent and gets fabulously rich and you are now too poor to own anything but a '57 vespa.

 

I wish I was Danny's lawyer.

Granted - but I'm unable to corrupt it. I can't think of anything worse than that!

 

Does this mean I win???

[BFish]

 

Granted, but your lawyer steals your patent and gets fabulously rich and you are now too poor to own anything but a '57 vespa.

 

I wish I was Danny's lawyer.

Granted - but I'm unable to corrupt it. I can't think of anything worse than that!

 

Does this mean I win???

 

i believe it does, and as such wait a week and start a new "corrupt thread"... this was fun.

[Albert]

 

Granted, but your lawyer steals your patent and gets fabulously rich and you are now too poor to own anything but a '57 vespa.

 

I wish I was Danny's lawyer.

Granted - but I'm unable to corrupt it. I can't think of anything worse than that!

 

Does this mean I win???

 

Granted, now everyone knows you're a winner and you have "frineds" coming out of the wooodwork asking for money.

 

I wish I was riding today.

 

 

[Matts_12GS]

granted.

 

But you're riding a snow plow.

 

I wish I had half of the money littleJohn received in fees from Danny's invention.

[Huzband]

 

I wish I had half of the money littleJohn received in fees from Danny's invention.

 

Granted, but I've found the paper trail, sued you for collusion & won. Now you don't even have the proverbial pot.

 

I wish I could write a ride tale like Whip can.

[ltljohn]

granted.

 

But you're riding a snow plow.

 

I wish I had half of the money littleJohn received in fees from Danny's invention.

 

Granted, but your guilt at cheating a friend has caused you to become a drug addicted bum living in the gutter and you do not know where you put that money.

 

 

I wish I were out riding today.

 

[ltljohn]

 

I wish I had half of the money littleJohn received in fees from Danny's invention.

 

Granted, but I've found the paper trail, sued you for collusion & won. Now you don't even have the proverbial pot.

 

I wish I could write a ride tale like Whip can.

 

Granted but Whip discovers this and sues for plagarism you are now a bum in the gutter with Matt because I have all the money from your invention.

 

I wish I were a large corporation so the gov't could pay my bills for me.

[Mister Tee]

Granted, you're Microsoft. From now on, women will make jokes about your manhood at cocktail parties.

 

I wish I had a bed in my office.

[ltljohn]

Granted, you're Microsoft. From now on, women will make jokes about your manhood at cocktail parties.

 

I wish I had a bed in my office.

 

Granted but you have to share it with Phyllis and Cloris.

 

I wish women did not make jokes about my height.

[bakerzdosen]

I wish I had a bed in my office.

Granted, but now the coworkers you would least want to see sleeping are always in your office sleeping on the bed despite the proliferation of bed bugs.

 

I wish the guy who won't shut up would actually do that instead of explaining his gall bladder problems to the whole office.

[bakerzdosen]

oops - too slow.

 

I wish women did not make jokes about my height.

Granted. Now they make fun of you for other "shortcomings"

 

I wish the guy who won't shut up would actually do that instead of explaining his gall bladder problems to the whole office.

[tallman]

Granted.

But now everyone else is talking, In in igpay atinlay.

 

 

I wish I could ice skate and never fall down.

[ltljohn]

Granted.

But now everyone else is talking, In in igpay atinlay.

 

 

I wish I could ice skate and never fall down.

 

Granted but you can only skate inside a frozen 55 gallon drum.

 

I wish I could go deep sea fishing today.

[BFish]

Granted.

But now everyone else is talking, In in igpay atinlay.

 

 

I wish I could ice skate and never fall down.

 

granted, but get over it...even bobby orr fell down once in a while.

 

 

i wish joepa and mr. bowden would finally retire cause i'm tired of reading about it.

 

 

 

 

[Matts_12GS]

i wish joepa and mr. bowden would finally retire cause i'm tired of reading about it.

 

Granted. But not until Urban Meyer is Joe Pa's age.

 

I wish I could find the picture of Danny in the pink gator hat again.

[Mister Tee]

Granted, but the pink gator hat and uh.... sock.... is all he's wearing, and he has his arms draped around you.

 

 

I wish the Rockford Files would go back in to syndication.

[Lynn]

I wish the Rockford Files would go back in to syndication.

 

Granted, but the folks who want to foam-rubber all the sharp corners in this world managed to remove all the fun (along with any references to anything unseemly).

 

I wish that I could convince myself that I need a new bike (as opposed to just wanting one).

 

 

[Mister Tee]

Granted, but your new bike is completely padded with foam rubber, and is speed limited to 25 mph.

 

 

I wish I could include f-bombs in my written reports.

[dewtwo]

Granted, but your new bike is completely padded with foam rubber, and is speed limited to 25 mph.

 

 

I wish I could include f-bombs in my written reports.

 

Granted, but now you are unemployed, and wish Cloris and Phylis would give you the time of day.

 

I wish I could ride during the day to do my job.

 

 

[Ken H.]

I wish I could ride during the day to do my job.

Granted. But your job now is collecting garbage.

 

I wish I was done painting the walls inside this !@#$% house.

[Mister Tee]

Granted. Your !@#$% house is painted, but now you carried that work ethic in to your office, and dropped an f-bomb in a written report. Worse yet, you:

 

I wish I could ride during the day to do my job.

 

Misquoted. Plagiarism would have been forgiven, but now you have been asked to revoke your Canadian citizenship and learn French to placate your Quebec rivals on your way out. You are sent South to the U.S., where you experience extensive firearm training and have to eat fried alligators, and watch the past five years of Raiders game reruns.

 

 

I wish I had hydraulics for my RT.

[roadscholar]

Granted. Your !@#$% house is painted, but now you carried that work ethic in to your office, and dropped an f-bomb in a written report. Worse yet, you:

 

I wish I could ride during the day to do my job.

 

Misquoted. Plagiarism would have been forgiven, but now you have been asked to revoke your Canadian citizenship and learn French to placate your Quebec rivals on your way out. You are sent South to the U.S., where you experience extensive firearm training and have to eat fried alligators, and watch the past five years of Raiders game reruns.

 

 

 

I wish I had hydraulics for my RT.

 

Tee, that's a bit excessive don't ya' think, poor Ken.

 

 

Granted, but you've lost the remote and that strange kid down the street found it on the sidewalk. And he hears you every time you come down the street and he's learned how to make your bike do unintended stoppies and wheelies as if you were riding a mechanical bull and your neighbors stand outside and get a big kick out of the whole scene.

 

I wish I didn't stay up so late.

[BFish]

granted, just tivo the late night porn and watch at your leisure during the day.

 

wish i could chill and not stress so much.

[Mister Tee]

Granted, your new job, which is located in Greenland near the Arctic circle, is stress free. But you only have a Summer jacket and no gloves for riding.

 

I wish Phyllis and Cloris would just leave me alone.

[bakerzdosen]

wish i could chill and not stress so much.

Granted, but now you're living in Northern Alberta pumped full of various meds... At least taxes aren't an issue.

 

I wish I knew all the answers (like I thought I did in high school. )

[bakerzdosen]

I wish Phyllis and Cloris would just leave me alone.

Granted. Now you've gotta contend with Betty White and Bea Arthur.

 

I wish I could type faster so I won't keep posting a "granted" after someone else already has.

[Albert]

I wish Phyllis and Cloris would just leave me alone.

Granted. Now you've gotta contend with Betty White and Bea Arthur.

 

I wish I could type faster so I won't keep posting a "granted" after someone else already has.

 

Granted, you've just been promoted to the head of the typing pool and your lucrative engineering carreer is over.

 

I wish I got three wishes.

[Mister Tee]

Granted. You just wished for Cloris Leachman, Phyllis Diller and Barry White.

 

 

I wish it were Miller time.

[Albert]

Granted. You just wished for Cloris Leachman, Phyllis Diller and Barry White.

 

 

I wish it were Miller time.

 

Granted, you are an Amish miller in a saw mill. Beer is frowned upon (as is electricity).

 

I wish I hadn't squandered my first 3 wishes.

[Huzband]

 

I wish I hadn't squandered my first 3 wishes.

 

Granted, but I'm your new Genie, so watch out.

 

I wish Phil would stop selling bikes I want, but can't afford.

[ltljohn]

 

I wish I hadn't squandered my first 3 wishes.

 

Granted, but I'm your new Genie, so watch out.

 

I wish Phil would stop selling bikes I want, but can't afford.

 

Granted, but now he is giving them away to everyone but you.

 

I wish Cloris, Phyllis, Bea, Betty and the gang would go away

[bakerzdosen]

I wish Cloris, Phyllis, Bea, Betty and the gang would go away

Granted. They've gone to a small deserted island. The bad news is you've gone with them.

 

I wish I didn't have to do an onsite system upgrade tonight at midnight.