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Corrupt My Wish


Mister Tee

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I wish, I lived in Alaska!

 

Granted, but you live in Barrow, with ME...

 

I wish I had perfect health to 100 years old.

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Granted, but people call you Dick and you develop a complex, which leads to a nasty drug addiction, and you burn your house down trying to light your endo weed.

 

I wish I could remember the name of that hot chick I met last night.

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Granted, but you realise it is the same as your second grade teacher, you had way too much to drink, and it probably was your second grade teacher.

 

I wish I wasn't so damn intelligent. :grin:

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I wish I wasn't so damn intelligent. :grin:

 

Granted, but you finally realize that you hang out with a lot of dumb friends.

 

I wish I could fly like a Superman.

 

 

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Granted, but you fly in to restricted military airspace, and in the process of citing you, the FAA finds that you have neither an appropriate pilot certificate nor a current medical certificate, and they lock you up in federal prison.

 

I wish it was lunch time.

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Wish granted but you have just been caught in a cat trap at the back of the Foo manchu restaurant and you can see the glint of a cleaver approaching in the dark.

 

 

I wish I had a smarter dog.

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I wish I had a smarter dog.

Granted. And he's just attained power of attorney over you, seized total control of your estate and had you committed to a mental institution.

 

I wish things never changed for the worse.

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I wish things never changed for the worse.

 

Granted but your no longer influential in the maters of this world.

 

I wish it was not so early in the(my) morning.

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I wish things never changed for the worse.

 

Granted but your no longer influential in the maters of this world.

 

I wish it was not so early in the(my) morning.

 

...but at least you're awake and breathing

 

i wish there really was a santa claus, think of all the $$ we'd save.

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i wish there really was a santa claus, think of all the $$ we'd save.

 

Granted.....but Santa is in deep fiscal trouble, and asks and gets a gument bailout package, which raises our taxes 2,000%. (It's for the child'rn, ya know!)

 

 

 

Wish I didn't have to wear glasses.

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Don't we all.

 

Granted, but now you're grounded for all your hooliganism and she's taken away the keys to your bikes.

 

 

 

I wish my bike got 100 mpg.

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Don't we all.

 

Granted, but now you're grounded for all your hooliganism and she's taken away the keys to your bikes.

 

 

 

I wish my bike got 100 mpg.

 

get scooter and stretch it to fit

 

i wish it wasn't almost tax/busy season.

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I wish my bike got 100 mpg.

 

Granted, but it's an electric scooter that costs ten grand, only goes 45mph, & only forty miles on a charge. It'll take you three weeks just to get to spring BRR.

 

I wish I didn't have to tell my wife I need a new riding jacket 'cuz the hole in the back is getting bigger.

 

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Granted.

But now you have to get a real job and hire an accountant.

 

 

I wish I didn't have to pay taxes.

 

better than starving

 

i wish butter wasn't supposedly bad for ya

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Granted.

 

But now you wonder about the first person to eat an oyster.

 

I wish Danny typed faster.

 

Granted, but now you get 10 times as many messages a day from him.

 

I wish I could ride to work any day I want.

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Granted.

But, you're fired.

 

I wish my lottery numbers were correct.

 

But it's from Georgia and you'll have to pay state and fed taxes...and your AGI will be too high for the home office deductions.

 

wish i felt like doing something productive at work today

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Granted.

But, you're fired.

 

I wish my lottery numbers were correct.

 

But it's from Georgia and you'll have to pay state and fed taxes...and your AGI will be too high for the home office deductions.

 

wish i felt like doing something productive at work today

 

granted, but now your boss will expect it every day 24/7

 

I wish I wish I wish I were a fish

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Granted, but now you are packed in a can with fresh spring water....

 

I wish tuna wasn't so tasty....

 

Granted, now it tastes like poo and its all you get 3 meals a day.

 

I wish I could drink lots of beer and still ride safely.

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Granted, but now you have to ride without a helmet or jacket on a cruiser with loud pipes and only from one bar to the next one.

 

I wish lobster wasn't so expensive.

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Granted, but now you have to ride without a helmet or jacket on a cruiser with loud pipes and only from one bar to the next one.

 

I wish lobster wasn't so expensive.

 

granted, but if it was inexpensive there wouldn't be any lobsta's left in the ocean

 

i wish my Labrador didn't have allergies to everything

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i wish my Labrador didn't have allergies to everything

 

Granted, but now he's (she's?) my Lab.

 

I wish I knew how to make perfect pictures every time.

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Granted. You now have the knowledge, but the judge has prohibited you from using a camera due to your choice in subject matter...

 

I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving!

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Jerry Johnston

 

 

I wish turkeys were happy on Thanksgiving.

Granted, but not everyone is a Turkey.

 

I wish the holiday beggars all a job.

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I wish the holiday beggars all a job.

 

Granted. They all work for you now.

 

I wish I had gotten that '55 Chevy for my eighteenth BD, the one I was SURE I was getting.

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I wish I had gotten that '55 Chevy for my eighteenth BD, the one I was SURE I was getting.

Granted. Too bad a eighteen wheeler run over it the first day you had it. Lucky you were not in it.

 

I wish to be able to ride as fast now as I think I was.

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Granted, you can now ride as fast as you was doing on your tricycle at age three.

 

I wish I didn't eat all that unnecessary free food at the hotel all this week.

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I wish I didn't eat all that unnecessary free food at the hotel all this week.

 

Granted, but now you're Twiggy, & don't have the strength to ride the TAT.

 

I wish I didn't have to change tires for track days.

 

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I wish I didn't eat all that unnecessary free food at the hotel all this week.

 

Granted, but now you're Twiggy, & don't have the strength to ride the TAT.

 

I wish I didn't have to change tires for track days.

 

Granted, you have been banned from all tracks

 

 

I wish all my best friends did not live so far away.

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I wish all my best friends did not live so far away.

 

Granted, but now you have no friends. ( What's new?) :grin:

 

I wish the steaks for supper were ready.

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Granted, they are. But have you seen your dog around in the last few hours?

 

 

I wish I could get a booty call right now.

 

Granted but it's with Phyllis Diller

 

I wish I had friends

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Granted. Your new friend is Phyllis Diller. I forwarded the booty call to you. Make the best of it.

 

I wish I could sleep in this morning.

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I wish I could sleep in this morning.

 

Granted, but you wake up with Phyllis Diller. :grin:

 

I wish I didn't have to break away for supper.

 

Granted but you have to spend the rest of the night with Phyllis Diller

 

I wish Phyllis would leave us alone

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Granted, she will right after that booty call. :grin:

 

I wish Raoul Castro and the President-elect will have a productive meeting and we can get Cuba opened up for some riding opportunities.

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I wish Phyllis would leave us alone

 

Granted; Phyllis leaves you all alone... but Cloris Leachman won't.

 

I wish I could make it to Cedar Key in January!

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I wish I could make it to Cedar Key in January!

 

Granted, but you have to leave Richard to do so.

 

Oh, wait, there's supposed to be a negative to this. :dopeslap:

 

Anyway, I wish Jacqueline still lived in Florida. :thumbsup:

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