Matts_12GS Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 I wish it was a bit warmer without ice patches and sand all over the roads so I could ride today. Granted, but your honey do list is crushing and you only have time to work or work around the house until the Big Gig... I wish I was able to install my autocom in my son's helmet easily enough for he and I to go ride today Link to comment
SageRider Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 I wish I was able to install my autocom in my son's helmet easily enough for he and I to go ride today Granted. You throw the Autocom along with all the parts into your son's helmet then your son & you go riding. Unfortunately your son is not wearing the helmet because there is no longer any room in the helmet for his head, and you can't enjoy your ride due to worrying about the risk your son is taking riding helmetless.... I wish motorcycle intercom/audio/b2b systems functioned (properly) without wires or batteries... Link to comment
VinnyR11 Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 I wish motorcycle intercom/audio/b2b systems functioned (properly) without wires or batteries... Granted, and you discover that it's been around for a very long time. It's called yelling. I wish it were 20 degrees warmer this time of year. Link to comment
tallman Posted December 26, 2008 Share Posted December 26, 2008 granted. But you no longer feel like going for that kind of a ride... I wish an inexpensive, renewable energy source could be available within 5 years. Link to comment
BFish Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 granted. But you no longer feel like going for that kind of a ride... I wish an inexpensive, renewable energy source could be available within 5 years. granted, but the tubes connected to our lower GI tract to collect the "gas" prove to be cumbersome and that particular renewable source is scrapped. wish i hadn't spent the am mowing the ranch. got sunburned. Link to comment
Huzband Posted December 27, 2008 Share Posted December 27, 2008 wish i hadn't spent the am mowing the ranch. got sunburned. Granted, but now it'll be two weeks before it gets mowed, because you're too busy watching football all of next week. Corruption is, you'll have to pay a guy with a bush hog, & he takes down half your fence. He's also broke & living in his '68 Ford pickup, so your law suit gets you nothing. I wish they still made movies like they did in the forties, with the same great acting & directing. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted December 27, 2008 Author Share Posted December 27, 2008 Granted, they do. Now you can watch Terminator V in grainy, black and white narrow screen resolution, and monaural sound. And all your friends will KNOW who is responsible for that. I wish I had a fancy BBQ setup, protected from the rain. Link to comment
Huzband Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I wish I had a fancy BBQ setup, protected from the rain. Granted, but now the 2010 Un is at your place, & everybody's staying with you. Oh, & you have to do ALL the cooking for everyone on your fancy BBQ set-up. I wish I didn't have to work this week. Link to comment
SageRider Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 I wish I didn't have to work this week. Granted. You freely choose to work anyway. Marty Hill thanks you for your contribution to his Social Security check... I wish everyone a happy between holidays! Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted December 29, 2008 Author Share Posted December 29, 2008 Granted, everyone is happy between Christmas and New Year's. But they will all be REALLY PISSED OFF the remainder of the year. As a result, Phyllis and Cloris have found a new place to retire to - Minden, Nevada. Unfortunately, in their destitution, they only know BMWST board members, and seek you out for lodging and try to blackmail you with kinky photo shoots involving Wilfred Brimley and Alan Greenspan. I wish I could eat something other than #($#$ing salads for lunch. Link to comment
Pennys Dad Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted but you are arrested a week later after the Law realizes your eating people. I wish I could ride to Denver Co and visit my daugther for New Years. Link to comment
VinnyR11 Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 I wish I could ride to Denver Co and visit my daugther for New Years. Granted, but upon arriving you discover she's not there because she planned a surprise visit to see you. I wish they would solve the traffic congestion problems on Long Island and NYC. Link to comment
Matts_12GS Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 I wish they would solve the traffic congestion problems on Long Island and NYC. Granted, all vehicles have been removed except for mass transit and your bike was confiscated and auctioned to someone who lives in a freer part of the country. I wish the cowboys hadn't stunk it up so badly against the eagles Sunday afternoon... Link to comment
ltljohn Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted, they played a local HS team and got beat 50 to 6. I wish I there wasn't so much sand on the roads around here Link to comment
Silver Surfer/AKAButters Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted, but beware the black ice the next time it hovers near freezing. I wish I could find a partner that loved to ride both pillion and her own bike. Link to comment
Albert Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted, but beware the black ice the next time it hovers near freezing. I wish I could find a partner that loved to ride both pillion and her own bike. Granted but she loves to ride pillion with someone else and she rides away on hers. I wish Danny had my snow shovel polished to a mirror shine mounted on his roof reflecting his unused sunshine toward the north. Link to comment
Silver Surfer/AKAButters Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted but the additional heat rapidly melts the snowpack and washes away all of your favorite scenic routes. Link to comment
Albert Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted but the additional heat rapidly melts the snowpack and washes away all of your favorite scenic routes. Granted, er . . . hey were's your wish? Link to comment
Silver Surfer/AKAButters Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Oh, I wish my I could retire soon. Link to comment
Matts_12GS Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Oh, I wish my I could retire soon. Granted. The injuries sustained performing carnal acts illegal in the US with Cloris, Bea, Phyllis, Fang, and Richard have left you mentally incapable of contributing to society so you are retired and sent to a state home who's funding will be cut off due to budget limits. I wish I didn't have so many errands to run today so I could ride the extra 500 miles I need to break a personal mileage record this year... Link to comment
Boone60 Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Oh, I wish my I could retire soon. Granted. The injuries sustained performing carnal acts illegal in the US with Cloris, Bea, Phyllis, Fang, and Richard have left you mentally incapable of contributing to society so you are retired and sent to a state home who's funding will be cut off due to budget limits. I wish I didn't have so many errands to run today so I could ride the extra 500 miles I need to break a personal mileage record this year... Granted a personal assistant to run all your errands today. You are free to spend the day riding 500 miles on non-publicly funded roads. I wish I didn't have the flu today. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted December 30, 2008 Author Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted, you have a flesh eating bacteria infection instead. I wish I had a more reliable receptionist. And one that would take care of.... anything. Link to comment
tallman Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Granted. But she is so proficient, you no longer have any clients. I wish I hadn't created expectations by hitting a few great shots today playing golf. Link to comment
Huzband Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish I hadn't created expectations by hitting a few great shots today playing golf. Granted, Lara Croft has "taken care" of any dillusions of grandeur you may have had. I wish I was already in racing shape. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish I was already in racing shape. Granted, the shape you are in is a wad in the corner you took too hot. I wish I had a heated garage so I could work on my bikes in comfort. Link to comment
Matts_12GS Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish I had a heated garage so I could work on my bikes in comfort. Granted, but the heaters in the garage wind up destroying your bike, house and cars just 10 days after all your insurance expires leaving you homeless, bikeless, carless and ultimately unemployed. I wish I had some smaller bottles of wine around so I wouldn't be compelled to open a full one right now... Link to comment
ltljohn Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish I had some smaller bottles of wine around so I wouldn't be compelled to open a full one right now... Granted, but the bottles are .005 ounces so you have to have a 1000 of them for a glass of wine. I wish my garage was 10 feet wider. Link to comment
BFish Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Granted. But she is so proficient, you no longer have any clients. I wish I hadn't created expectations by hitting a few great shots today playing golf. granted, go play 9 holes today, lose 12 balls, shoot 85 over and get food poisoning from the burger at the 19th hole. i wish......every corrupter a fantastic, happy, prosperous and safe new year! Link to comment
VinnyR11 Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish my garage was 10 feet wider. Granted, but you weren't specific when closing the deal. You discovered that the contractors used the garage roof to build the expanded walls. It's snowy, windy and cold right now. I wish it were sunny and warm with a light breeze. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Granted but instead of Long Island you are on a small atoll in the Indian Ocean that does not allow motorcycles. I wish it wasn't snowing this morning. Link to comment
Albert Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish it wasn't snowing this morning. Granted, instead Mount Philadelphia has just erupted and there's a firestorm going on. I wish that girl in Tim's picture would take me hostage. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish that girl in Tim's picture would take me hostage. Granted, but it is an old picture and she now looks just like Cloris and Phyllis. I wish it was spring already. Link to comment
Lineareagle Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 I wish that girl in Tim's picture would take me hostage. Granted, but 'she' is actually a 'he' and just got out of a 15 year stint in Attica. I wish I could think of something to wish for. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted December 31, 2008 Author Share Posted December 31, 2008 Granted, you just wished for and got a starring role in "Gay Porn Series: The Sins of Attica" I wish I had a Guinness dispenser on my desk here at work. Link to comment
Fajah Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Granted, but all bathrooms have been removed. I wish I could make everyone in my life happy. Link to comment
Albert Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Granted, but all bathrooms have been removed. I wish I could make everyone in my life happy. Granted, however it turns out everyone in your life wants you gone. I wish the maintenance people could hook our clock up to 220v for the next hour. Link to comment
SageRider Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Granted. However it takes only seconds for the magic smoke to escape causing time to stand still.... I wish I could meet an honest, intelligent politician! Link to comment
tallman Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 granted. But you have to go back in time. 10,000 years ago www.abundance-and-happiness.com/humor-first-politician.html Fossilized remains And there are no vehicles to ride. I wish short people would quit giving Napoleon a bad name. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted December 31, 2008 Author Share Posted December 31, 2008 Granted. Now short people give you a bad name. And medium and tall people too. In an attempt to clear your name, you assume a new identity, "V Funk", the new and upcoming white rap artist. Shortly after, you meet your demise when your studio is shot up by people that think you are the reincarnation of Jam Master Jay. I wish I would have ate at Subway instead of Long John Silvers. Arggh matey, me bowels be shiverin' Link to comment
tallman Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 But the WPP said I'd be safe with that identity. Your wish is granted. But the subway is in New York, underground, and the main course is tunnel squirrel. I wish I could find some pants that fit. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I wish I could find some pants that fit. Granted but they are made from the tail hair of a rare Mongolian squirrel and cost $15,000 a pair and only last 3 days. I wish the wind wasn't blowing 20 to 30mph tonight. Link to comment
Jacqueline Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I wish the wind wasn't blowing 20 to 30mph tonight. Granted the wind is not blowing at all...or at least not where you can feel it as a snow storm has dumped 50 foot of snow on you. And the girls are there with you... You know the TWO! I wish everyone a Happy New Year! Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Granted, but now you've corrupted the other 364 days of the year for everyone. For that we send Phyllis, Cloris, Richard Simmons, and Renaldo the gardener (who has become a fat, abusive drunk and taken to excessive womanizing) to your place to live for a year. I wish this fog would go away. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I wish this fog would go away. Granted, but as the fog lifts you find this on your front lawn. I wish I had the new lowered R12RT I saw at Hermy's last week. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted January 1, 2009 Author Share Posted January 1, 2009 Granted. And it has curb feelers, whitewalls, spinner rims, hydraulics, an extended swingarm, 300 size rear tire and gang color paint graphics. I wish I had a new Brembo brake setup and a Penske suspension for the GSXR. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I wish I had a new Brembo brake setup and a Penske suspension for the GSXR. Granted but you no longer have the GSXR so all this expensive hardware is gathering dust in your garage. I wish I had a heater in my garage. Link to comment
tallman Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Granted. But your neighbor is named O'Leary and she keeps cows. I wish I could make time stand still. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 I wish I could make time stand still. Granted, Groundhog Day, need I say more? I wish that I had my own garage for working on things. Link to comment
SageRider Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 Granted, but you have no things, tools, or means to acquire either. I wish cats didn't shed.... Link to comment
BFish Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 granted ,but Goober came with it and is your chief mechanic. Cloris is the bookkeeper and pumps gas in a thong. wish the gator/sooner football game was this weekend. Link to comment
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