philbytx Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Granted......you are outside your office sunning yourself but the boss discovered you wasted your day so you were fired! I wish I were God ! Link to comment
BFish Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Granted......you are outside your office sunning yourself but the boss discovered you wasted your day so you were fired! I wish I were God ! granted, but the economy woes hit heaven and you have to layoff almost all the angels. the devil is flush and hires them with a promise of better work conditions, hot benefit plan and all the barbecue they can eat. as a result they are able to reverse the trend of heaven bound souls and the ranks swell you know where. the result is you're out of a job. i wish chevy would firesale all vettes at disgustingly low prices. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted January 18, 2009 Author Share Posted January 18, 2009 Granted, Chevrolet will offer you all the Corvettes you want for five grand a piece. But, it truly is a fire sale. The plant burned down with all the remaining Corvette inventory. You might be able to salvage the motor blocks and frames for scrap but that's about it. I wish I the right front fork of my RT would quit farting oil when I ride on a bad road. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted January 18, 2009 Share Posted January 18, 2009 I wish I the right front fork of my RT would quit farting oil when I ride on a bad road. Granted, there is now no oil left and the fork falls apart you end up in traction and your nurses are Phyllis, Cloris and Richard S. You get a sponge bath from them every day. I wish I could have stayed in NYC for a second day of the MC show and sightseeing. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted January 21, 2009 Author Share Posted January 21, 2009 Granted, you could have, but you didn't. Instead, you tried to go home, but took the wrong exit and ended up in Jersey at some biker bar. Offended that you weren't a Jersey native and not on a Harley, they beat you to a pulp and put you in traction. The hospital sent you to the San Francisco General traction unit, where you took my place getting sponge baths from Phyllis, Cloris, and Richard Simmons. I wish Barack Obama would appoint me as the Presidential prescreener of fine dining establishments. Link to comment
Boone60 Posted January 21, 2009 Share Posted January 21, 2009 Granted, but after a short time you gain so much weight, that you are unable to ride your RT. Your plight makes the news and you become selected as a contestant on the Biggest Loser with Richard Simmons as your 24 hour personal trainer. I wish the weather up here in Green Bay was the same as in Austin. Link to comment
VinnyR11 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I wish the weather up here in Green Bay was the same as in Austin. Granted, both cities now have identical weather. Green Bay now has Austin summers which last 6 months in both cities, and Austin has Green Bay winters which last the other 6 months. I wish BMW would trade me even up on a brand new R12RT for my '96. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I wish the weather up here in Green Bay was the same as in Austin. Granted, but now the roads are clogged with drunken HD bar hoppers and you can't even get out of your driveway to ride. I wish I could make it to BRRIII. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted January 23, 2009 Author Share Posted January 23, 2009 Granted, you made it. To the Baskin Robbins Reunion of Italian Insider Investors. Which ends up being a sham front for the mafia. After being raided by the Feds, you are caught up in Rico statute charges, and you rat out the mob in a plea bargain. You meet your demise when the Feds give your witness protection information to the mob in exchange for five Colombian nationals. They kidnap you from the safe house, tie you to an exercise floor, and allow Richard Simmons to use your body for step aerobics wearing razor studded shoes. I wish I would have hid that last pizza in the break room before my co-workers devoured it this morning. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted February 8, 2009 Author Share Posted February 8, 2009 Somebody corrupt me a wish. I wish my ankle would heal by tomorrow. Link to comment
SageRider Posted February 8, 2009 Share Posted February 8, 2009 I wish my ankle would heal by tomorrow. Granted, However the ankle now being surgically attached to one ear is considered something of a medical miracle... Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted November 18, 2009 Author Share Posted November 18, 2009 >However the ankle now being surgically attached to one ear is considered something of a medical miracle... Your medical miracle is granted. I wish we were going in to Summer and not Winter.... Link to comment
elkroeger Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I wish we were going in to Summer and not Winter.... Granted. All we have to do is take the aerostich south america tour. http://www.aerostichtours.com/2010-south-america-tour-patagonia-chile-and-argentina I wish my ABS would quit giving me a low-voltage fault. Link to comment
Polo Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I wish my ABS would quit giving me a low-voltage fault. Granted, but it's because the lightbulb fried and now you don't have ABS, and... it just started raining. I wish I had been born rich instead of so handsome. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted November 18, 2009 Share Posted November 18, 2009 I wish I had been born rich instead of so handsome. Granted, you are rich but so hideously ugly no one will come near you. I wish I had enough vacation time to go to the UN in the sierras next year. Link to comment
elkroeger Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Granted. but you're on "permanent vacation", and the mortgage is due. I wish beans didn't give me gas. Link to comment
Kathy R Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 Granted. but you're on "permanent vacation", and the mortgage is due. I wish beans didn't give me gas. Granted Now they give you kidney stones I wish I had 80 acres Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted November 19, 2009 Author Share Posted November 19, 2009 >I wish I had 80 acres You do. 80 acres of toxic superfund site. I wish I had brand new Mooney M20 airplane. Link to comment
VinnyR11 Posted November 19, 2009 Share Posted November 19, 2009 >I wish I had 80 acres You do. 80 acres of toxic superfund site. I wish I had brand new Mooney M20 airplane. You wind up buying a brand new Mooney for only 10 grand. Quite the steal until it arrives and you receive THIS I wish my R1200RT had the looks of my old R1100RT. Link to comment
Kathy R Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 I wish my R1200RT had the looks of my old R1100RT. It does, but now it has the engine of a Harley Davidson. I wish I was taking diving lessons Link to comment
Joel Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 I wish I was taking diving lessons Granted, but the water is no longer safe, what with all those polar bears displaced by global warming, sharks, medical waste, etc. I wish I could derive from beer and chocolate all the nutrients my body needs. Link to comment
SeanC Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 I wish I could derive from beer and chocolate all the nutrients my body needs. Granted. You are now a sewer rat living beneath a Munich beer hall. I wish my kids wouldn't grow up so fast. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted November 20, 2009 Author Share Posted November 20, 2009 Granted, you will still be changing their diapers at home when they are in their 40's. I wish Taco Bell would reinstate their breakfast menu... Link to comment
BFish Posted November 20, 2009 Share Posted November 20, 2009 granted, but you'll spend the whole morning on the throne. i wish i didn't wish all the time Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted November 22, 2009 Author Share Posted November 22, 2009 Granted, but now you have nothing to wish for. I wish my next door neighbor would have hung on a little longer. He keeled over this morning from a heart attack. (Yes, this actually happened but please feel free to corrupt that wish in any way you find suit.) Link to comment
Huzband Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 Granted, but now he's callin' the cops every day for "them damn motersickles next door". Condolences to the family. I wish friends didn't have to die. Link to comment
randys Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 I wish friends didn't have to die. Granted, but now you have to loan them your motorcycles I wish I could put up with people better Link to comment
Kathy R Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 I wish I could put up with people better Granted, but now you are timid and take all the crap they dish out. I wish winter was only 8 weeks long Link to comment
Huzband Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 I wish winter was only 8 weeks long Granted, but now you live in Florida, & have to deal with 80 percent humidity in Dec./Jan. And that's on good days. I wish I could have a white Christmas. And I don't care how deep the snow is. Or if I ever get out. Link to comment
Matts_12GS Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 I wish I could have a white Christmas. And I don't care how deep the snow is. Or if I ever get out. Granted. You're snowed in during a record blizzard in Minot, ND (why not?) and all you have for company is a VHS copy of the 2008 SEC championship game... I wish the Jaguars would move quickly to another city so we can stop speculating about it Link to comment
VinnyR11 Posted November 22, 2009 Share Posted November 22, 2009 I wish the Jaguars would move quickly to another city so we can stop speculating about it Granted. They swap cities with the Browns. Speaking of football, I wish the Giants come out of their funk and win out the rest of the season. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 >Speaking of football, I wish the Giants come out of their funk and win out the rest of the season. Granted, the San Francisco Giants had a mostly winning season September/October 2009. The NY Giants, however, decided to step down from the NFL and relegate themselves to the powder puff division of the Special Olympics at the behest of the league. I wish I could eat as much as I wanted without gaining weight. Link to comment
Kathy R Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I wish I could eat as much as I wanted without gaining weight. Granted. You are a 14 year old boy, but in the 1940's, when kids played all day out of doors. I wish people were more considerate of one another Link to comment
SeanC Posted November 24, 2009 Share Posted November 24, 2009 I wish people were more considerate of one another Granted. You now live among the Amish. I wish I could compete in Downhill and Super G again. Link to comment
Mister Tee Posted November 25, 2009 Author Share Posted November 25, 2009 >I wish I could compete in Downhill and Super G again. Granted. You are going downhill faster than anyone else in your league, and you have to beg Super G for your next hit of crack. I wish the Arnold would repeal all of California's speed limits. Link to comment
ltljohn Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 >I wish I could compete in Downhill and Super G again. Granted. You are going downhill faster than anyone else in your league, and you have to beg Super G for your next hit of crack. I wish the Arnold would repeal all of California's speed limits. Granted....they have been repealed and replaced with a statewide 15MPH limit and speed cameras every mile. I wish my best friends didn't live so far away. Link to comment
Polo Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 Granted....they have been repealed and replaced with a statewide 15MPH limit and speed cameras every mile. I wish my best friends didn't live so far away. Granted, you won the lotto and moved closer to them, but now they borrow your tools and don't return them. You don't speak to each other any more. I wish I could get as much done every week as I did this past three days before Thanksgiving. Link to comment
Kathy R Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 I wish I could get as much done every week as I did this past three days before Thanksgiving. Granted, but now you relive these three days over and over and over and over and over... I wish I had two ovens!! Link to comment
ltljohn Posted November 25, 2009 Share Posted November 25, 2009 I wish I could get as much done every week as I did this past three days before Thanksgiving. Granted, but now you relive these three days over and over and over and over and over... I wish I had two ovens!! Granted, but now you cook twice as much, eat twice as much and have become so big you can no longer ride a motorcycle. I wish I hadn't loaned my tools to my best friend. Link to comment
Huzband Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 I wish I hadn't loaned my tools to my best friend. Granted, so he stole them. I wish we had a big enough freezer for the cow that was delivered today. Link to comment
Rinkydink Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Granted, but the cow was delivered alive and now what are you going to do with her? Sometimes I wish the Hokey Pokey was really what it was all about. Link to comment
Gary in Aus Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 Your wish is granted and unfortunately the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about , there's nothing more! I wished my level of cynicism didn't increase at the same rate as my age. Link to comment
VinnyR11 Posted November 26, 2009 Share Posted November 26, 2009 I wished my level of cynicism didn't increase at the same rate as my age. Granted. You now trust everyone and have given all of your banking information to the person who recently e-mailed you about sending you 8 million dollars from Nigeria. I wish I could ride like The Doctor. Link to comment
Gary in Aus Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 I wish I could ride like the Doctor Wish granted but not sure you will enjoy an english telephone box as a means of transport, I would always worry about Daleks. I wish Valentino Rossi would win the World Motogp title on a Ducati Link to comment
philbytx Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Granted. But it was announced before the 2010 season, that Bernie Ecclestone bought MotoGP and changed the specs. All the other teams except Ducati & Aprilia left to form their own series. I wished I could wish a wish and have it granted every day! Link to comment
Whip Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Granted You never got sick and you still live in Chicago, you never heard of Kerville and therefore never moved to Texas. I wish time would slow down. Link to comment
Kathy R Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 I wish time would slow down. Granted. Each day is now 48 hours long and you work 24 of them in a row. I wish I had a perpetual airplane ticket. Link to comment
Rocer Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Granted! On Buffalo Airlines in Canada's arctic. Bon voyages. I wish more members from this board would drop in for a visit. Link to comment
Whip Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Granted.... I wish I knew where Rocer lived. Link to comment
Rocer Posted November 27, 2009 Share Posted November 27, 2009 Shite!! I mean granted. Directions (all 47 of em) are on the way (now if you don't think that's corrupt just ask any of the pied piper group). Can't be here to greet you but our nearest neighbour Cliff (just recently moved here from Alaska) is throwing a welcome party for you when you get here:(with thanks from MarcoPolo) Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month, otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there. "Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00." "Great", says Tom, "after six months out here, I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Cliff is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you; be some drinkin'." "Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks again." "More 'n likely be some wild sex, too." "Now that's really not a problem", says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there! By the way, what should I wear"? "Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us." I wish I knew where the retro-active delete key was on this keyboard. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.