Corrupt My Wish

[Mister Tee]

Okay, here's a little experiment. It's something I saw on another message board, and the responses people give can be pretty hilarious. I don't know how it's going to play out here, but let's give it a shot. Here's how it works:

 

1. Someone posts a wish, like, "I wish I were invisible."

 

2. The next person grants the wish, in a negative manner, such as "Granted, but now cars can't see you and you get run over." Then in the same post on the next line, that person then posts a wish.

 

3. The process starts over with the next person granting a corrupted version of that wish, then posting their own wish. Okay, I'll start it off:

 

 

I wish I had a brand new BMW HP2...

[mrduck]

Granted!

 

The CHP just impounded your new bike and suspended your license!

 

 

Wish my tires lasted longer!

 

 

(do I have the idea right?)

 

 

 

[waylap]

Granted- .... but it's hot pink with handle bar tassles.

 

I wish I was 45 pounds lighter.

[SageRider]

Granted, but only if you do not mount them on the motorcycle.

 

Wish I were 18 again...

[Twisties]

Granted, but only if you do not mount them on the motorcycle.

 

Wish I were 18 again...

 

Granted, but Gweneth is not going to very happy with you being stupid and... again.

 

I wish Sharon were 18 again...

[Huzband]

Granted, but only if you do not mount them on the motorcycle.

 

Wish I were 18 again...

 

Granted, but Gweneth is not going to very happy with you being stupid and... again.

 

I wish Sharon were 18 again...

 

Granted, but she won't be very happy with you being 67 & stupid.

 

I wish I could ride like Nate Kern.

[roadscholar]

Granted, but for one hour only...while you're sound asleep.

 

Basically it would be IN YOUR DREAMS. :grin:

 

I wish Florida had a small mountain range.

[Huzband]

Granted, but for one hour only...while you're sound asleep.

 

Basically it would be IN YOUR DREAMS. :grin:

 

One hour's all I need.

[FlyingFinn]

Granted, but for one hour only...while you're sound asleep.

 

Basically it would be IN YOUR DREAMS. :grin:

 

I wish Florida had a small mountain range.

 

Granted, but Sierra Club got there first. Off-limits for all motorized vehicles!!

 

I wish I always knew what's the right thing to do.

[Kitsap]

Granted, but Sierra Club got there first. Off-limits for all motorized vehicles!!

 

I wish I always knew what's the right thing to do.

 

Granted, but you're now the President and nobody will listen to you.

 

I wish I had a gallon of never ending gasoline.

[Gregori]

Granted, but you'd HAVE to do the right thing EVERY time.

 

I wish still lived where the weather is warmer and more pleasant - like it is in San Diego!

 

/edit/

Gallon wish granted - but all internal combustion engines have been banned.

(My wish above.)

[Harry_Wilshusen]

I wish still lived where the weather is warmer and more pleasant - like it is in San Diego!

 

 

Granted. but it will be in a maximum security prison in Mexico.

 

I wish my typing was faster.

 

 

Harry

[Hoover]

I wish still lived where the weather is warmer and more pleasant - like it is in San Diego!

 

 

Granted. but it will be in a maximum security prison in Mexico.

 

I wish my typing was faster.

 

 

Harry

 

Granted, but everything you type is in Pig Latin.

 

I wish I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.

[Les is more]

I wish I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.

 

Granted, but in your wildest dreams you've never had anything more than a wooden nickel.

 

I wish someone would come and finish all of the work we have left to do on the house and yard.

[Matts_12GS]

I wish someone would come and finish all of the work we have left to do on the house and yard.

 

Granted... but the cost is more than you have left in equity and your 101 (K)

 

I wish my politicians would stay bought

[SageRider]

Granted (they are really quite cheap!), but it's always with the other guy's money...

 

Wish there was peace on earth...

[Couchrocket]

Wish there was peace on earth...

 

Granted two thousand years ago...

 

But everyone pretty much ignored Him, and now think He's dangerous.

 

Wish I could fly.

[Ken H.]

Wish I could fly.

Granted. But you can't get any higher than 20 feet above the ground.

 

I wish Canada didn't have winter.

[bakerzdosen]

I wish Canada didn't have winter.

Granted, but it's because of global warming, so it's all under water now.

 

I wish I knew and had a patent for a cheap and easy way to produce large amounts of hydrogen.

[tallman]

Granted.

But you are a passenger on the Hindenburg as it demonstrates your product.

 

I wish I made a hole in one.

[SageRider]

Granted, unfortunately, it was a gopher hole 5 feet off the tee.

 

I wish I could corner like Rossi!

[Albert]

Granted, unfortunately your hobby is boating, not golf.

 

I wish women didn't always think of me as an object.

[Knifemaker]

I wish I made a hole in one.

 

Granted....now you have to figure out what you really made a hole in....

 

I wish I could figure out what to wish for....

[Gregori]

I wish women didn't always think of me as an object.

Granted - they now think of you as a 'subject.'

 

I wish I could find a decent job!

[ltljohn]

Granted but it's on a small island with no motorcycles allowed.

 

 

I wish I could flat foot on my RT

[stubble!]

I wish I could flat foot on my RT

 

Granted, but now you have to deal with that flat tire.

 

I wish I wasn't at work.

[Gregori]

Granted - but that of course means you're unemployed.

 

I wish I had something better to do than play this game!

[Lynn]

I wish I wasn't at work.

 

Granted! Of course, now it is snowing and you can't go riding.

 

I wish that I didn't have to go to the in-laws for Turkey Day.

 

 

[MWS]

I wish I wasn't at work.

 

Granted! Of course, now it is snowing and you can't go riding.

 

I wish that I didn't have to go to the in-laws for Turkey Day.

 

 

Granted....they're coming over to your house!

 

Wish I had a watermellon

[Jerry Johnston]

 

Wish I had a watermellon

 

Granted, but they're out of season and it'll be spoiled.

 

Wish I had all the money in the world!

[Boffin]

 

 

 

 

Wish I had all the money in the world!

 

Granted, but as no one else has any money it has no value.

 

I wish I could remember my childhood better.

 

Andy

[smiller]

Wish I had all the money in the world!

Granted, but as no one else has any money it has no value.

[bakerzdosen]

I wish I could remember my childhood better.

Granted, but as retrieving your memories required invasive surgery, you now have no motor skills.

 

I wish I truly enjoyed physical exercise.

[Albert]

"I wish I truly enjoyed physical exercise."

 

Granted - poof you're a plough horse. Want some oats?

 

I wish I could time travel.

[Lynn]

I wish I could time travel.

 

Granted, but now the Cybermen, the Daleks and the Master are all now after you.

 

I wish that my kitchen was larger and better laid out.

 

 

[SeanC]

I wish that my kitchen was larger and better laid out.

Granted. You're now a fry cook at Denny's.

 

I wish I could read minds.

[ericfoerster]

Granted, now you know Wurty's thoughts!

 

I wish I played better golf.

[SeanC]

I wish I played better golf.

Granted. But everyone else now plays like Tiger.

 

I wish I could grow a real beard.

[roadscholar]

Granted, but now you're Abraham Lincoln in the balcony of a theatre, watching a play.

 

I wish I could ride like Nate Kern.

[stubble!]

I wish I could ride like Nate Kern.

 

Granted, but now you're asleep, spooning with Huzband.

 

I wish my kids weren't growing up so fast!

[EffBee]

I wish I could ride like Nate Kern.

 

Granted, but now you're asleep, spooning with Huzband.

 

I wish my kids weren't growing up so fast!

Granted. Now they're going to live with you until they're 50.

 

I wish friends didn't have to die before their time.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

I wish friends didn't have to die before their time.

 

Granted, but now your enemies don't die before their time, either.

 

I wish I only needed four hours of sleep per night.

[Albert]

I wish I only needed four hours of sleep per night.

 

Granted, you now spend your time watching every vego-matic and thigh master infomercial ever filmed.

 

I wish Big Mac's and pizza were health food.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

I wish Big Mac's and pizza were health food.

 

Granted - the meat in both items has been replaced with an unholy blend of tofu and Olestra. Big Macs and pizza now taste like ass and cause a long list of extremely unpleasant side effects.

 

I wish I could think more strategically.

[Albert]

I wish I could think more strategically.

 

Granted, your 401k is padded to the max for the long term however you no longer remeber how to put on your pants when you get up in the morning.

 

I wish Pittsburgh had San Diego's weather.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

I wish Pittsburgh had San Diego's weather.

 

Granted - and San Diego now has daytime highs in the low 150's.

 

I wish I could punch people in the face over TCP/IP.

[MWS]

I wish Pittsburgh had San Diego's weather.

 

Granted - and San Diego now has daytime highs in the low 150's.

 

I wish I could punch people in the face over TCP/IP.

 

 

Granted....now they can punch you back!

 

Wish I had a limp.

[Mister Tee]

Granted, but now the Workers Comp investigators discover you are a fraud, and they seize all your assets forcing you into odd jobs such as chimney sweeping and male prostitution in order to survive.

 

I wish I didn't have to spend the rest of the week in a place where it's 90F and raining outside.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

I wish I didn't have to spend the rest of the week in a place where it's 90F and raining outside.

 

Granted, but now you're in southeast Michigan, where it's 34F with sleet coming down...and I've just punched you in the face over TCP/IP.

 

I wish I owned a Bugatti Veyron.

[SeanC]

 

I wish I owned a Bugatti Veyron.

 

Granted. However, it's only drivable over TCP/IP.

 

I wish I didn't have insomnia.