My Farkle Odyssey

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

Well, I’ve written plenty of ride tales over the years.  This one doesn’t really involve any riding, so I probably shouldn’t call it a ride tale. 

 

Maybe a wrench tale?  Whatever, here you go:

 

I picked up a shiny blue 2023 R1250RT last summer, first new bike for me in 14 years.  Very nice, quite happy with it, but of course it needed farkles.  I didn’t want to disable it during the riding season, so my plan was to wait for Old Man Winter to show up and then tear into it.  So during the Fall, I rode when time and weather cooperated, and along the way I did a bunch of eyeballing and figuring, and put together a plan for how to get all my farkelization done. 

 

Wait, what was that thing about the best-laid schemes of mice and men?  Oh yeah:

 

Quote

The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley. 

 

"Gang aft a-gley."  What the hell does that mean?  Is that good?  Bad?  It's good, right?  I mean how bad could it be?

 

Handlebar risers

I had risers on my ’99 R1100RT, and on my ’09 R1200RT, so it only made sense that I should put risers on the 1250.  There are at least a couple on the market, but the only one that looks decent, at least to my eye, is the set from Wunderlich:

 

 

 

Fair credit, Wunderlich puts out a nice-looking kit, well packaged and with full-color illustrated instructions and a tiny tube of thread-locking compound:

 

 

 

 

 

One strike against this set is the price, $375.  The other is the installation process, shown here in this twenty-minute installation video: 

 

 

 

It’s not really Wunderlich’s fault that these are a challenge to install – it’s just that the way BMW designed the bars on the shift-cam RTs, you can’t simply slip riser pucks underneath the cast aluminum parts down on the triple tree, since the triple tree and cast bar parts are all a single casting now.  So the grips, levers, and all of the associated wiring has to come apart so that you can get the steel handlebar inserts out, install the risers, and then put all of that stuff back together.  When you’re done, it looks like this:

 

 

(try to focus on the bar risers and not the denuded chassis.)

 

There’s also supposed to be enough slack in the brake/clutch hoses and wiring so that you can turn the bars lock-to-lock without kinking anything.  Unfortunately, my bike did not have enough of that slack, so I contacted Wunderlich for help.  They said to loosen some zip ties at the front of the fuel tank to free up slack in all those lines.  I did that but still couldn’t get the slack I needed. I asked for more advice, but got no response for several days.  With the end of the 30-day return window just a few days away, I requested an RMA and started the disassembly process. 

 

And that’s when things started gang a-gley. 

 

The bolt that secures the left riser to the triple-tree has a left-handed thread.  During disassembly, I forgot about this and was confused as to why I couldn’t loosen the bolt.  I thought it was the super German thread-locking compound that came with the kit.  I pulled harder and harder until I finally stripped out the Torx-Plus drive in the bolt head. 

 

Oh God.

 

 

 

OK, don’t panic you dumbass, you can still get this out of there.  I got a small drill bit and drilled a pilot in the center of the bolt head; thankfully the bolt was soft enough so that it drilled OK.  I drilled bigger and bigger until the head finally popped off of the bolt.  OK great, progress!  By the way, if you’re ever going to drill metal on your bike, make sure you mask everything off so you don’t shower razor-sharp chips down on everything below:

 

 

 

 

That's the bolt head skewered on the end of the drill bit.  With that gone, I warmed up the cast aluminum bar end with a heat gun, but still couldn’t get the riser out by hand.  So I got a hammer and a drift, and started tapping on the headless bolt.  Happily, the riser moved, little by little, toward freedom – and then with one last tap it quite suddenly came completely free, clattering to the garage floor and getting scratched up in the process. 

 

 

 

 

The very next day Wunderlich emailed me an RMA#.  I wrote back explaining the drilled-out bolt and the scratched-up riser, and asked if they could see their way to at least a partial refund, considering that I wouldn’t have even been removing the risers if they had fit as advertised.  They politely declined any refund, pointing out that hundreds of other people have installed these on their bikes without any issue – the implication being that any fitment issues on my bike couldn’t possibly be anything other than my own fault. 

 

 

 

So yeah, now I own a $375 set of billet aluminum paperweights.  OK, not entirely true.  The scratches from dropping the left riser really aren’t bad at all, and I bought a replacement left-handed bolt to make the kit complete again.  I’ll be listing it in the classifieds this spring for a very fat discount. Hopefully making someone else very happy and reducing my level of regret just a tiny bit. 

 

So, so much for bar risers.  3-hour day rides last summer and fall weren’t a problem; we’ll see how longer trips go this season.

 

So what else happened?

 

Electrical Upgrades

I needed to add circuits for GPS and my Gerbing heated jacket liner.  Not much room under the saddle for an aux fuse panel like my previous bikes, so per advice received last summer from you characters, I went for the Hex ezCAN.  Somehow things didn’t go as smoothly as I had hoped.  I connected it to the app on my desktop PC and got the circuits configured, then installed it on my bike.  And found that it wouldn’t work, and I couldn’t even connect to it with a laptop PC until I disconnected the power leads from the battery.  I ended up completely uninstalling it and contacting Hex for support before somehow getting it installed and working properly.  Still don’t know what the issue actually was – best guess is a connector that maybe wasn’t fully seated?  Anyway, all done now.  Except – oh yeah, I lost the tiny little micro-USB dust plug:

 

 

 

 

Hey, Hex folks: next time consider a tether!!!!

 

For the Gerbing power socket, I followed @Bernie’s lead and installed an aftermarket panel-mount socket in the plastic triangle behind my left calf:

 

 

 

 

 

 

On my previous bike, the Gerbing cord came out from the front edge of the saddle, and the cord was constantly getting between my left knee and the tank.  Looking forward to never having that happen again. 

 

For charging, the dealer had wired a standard SAE two-wire connector to the battery and zip-tied the connector down by the right foot peg:

 

y 

 

 

Not pretty, and definitely not convenient with the way I park my bike up against the garage wall:

 

ic

 

 

You can see the Battery Tender cord going straight down to that right footpeg where the plug is.

 

The bike came with a powerlet socket positioned at my right knee.  I knew from my last bike that I would never be using this, so I bought a panel-mount SAE socket and installed it in the powerlet socket’s location.  No drilling required, it was pretty easy to remove the powerlet socket and just screw the SAE socket in its place.  I rerouted the dealer-installed charging cable, shortened the 40” cable on the SAE socket, and voila, a much cleaner look and a nice convenient place to charge (or draw power for a tire pump):

 

 

 

 

 

 

I added some duolock and a zip-tie anchor to the front of the fuel tank to help keep the cable tucked up out of the way of everything else under the panels:

 

 

 

But of course, nothing ever goes perfectly. 

 

 

If you’re wondering how electrical mods can break a body panel and what it takes to undo the damage, well, here you go:

 

 

 

Handlebar Accessories

I had a few accessories to mount on the handlebars, with the main item being GPS.  I know some of you put the GPS front and center above the instrument cluster, but I like having it on the left where I can easily reach with my clutch hand to change settings on the go.  That's where I had it on my R1100RT:

 

 

Hard to spot in that photo, so here's a zoom-in:

 

 

 

There it is, the ol GPSMAP 276C! And I put it in the same spot on my R1200RT:

 

 

 

That GPSMAP276C was with me for a good 14 years, but then in 2018 I switched to a Zumo 595, and this past Christmas I upgraded to a Zūmo XT.  The good news is that nothing went particularly wrong with mounting  all the handlebar accessories; it was just a long and tedious process of getting the pieces designed, cut, drilled, ground, filed, sanded, deburred, and fitted, including sawing/sanding various attachment screws to acceptable lengths.  If it sounds complicated, well, it was.  Here’s all the pieces I made on the right, ready for finishing:

 

 

The black parts on the left are holders for (front to rear) a Spot Messenger,  the Zūmo XT, and a Gerbing wireless heat controller.

 

The steel parts were a bit crusty, but everything cleaned up good with some time in the sandblaster:

 

ics

 

 

A phosphate dip helps promote powdercoat adhesion and inhibits corrosion:

 

 

You can see a bit of a “shadow” where one of the Torx screws sat head-down on a bracket during the phosphate dip:

 

 

First batch, ready for powder:

 

 

 

Tape (sticky side out, for easy removal) keeps the powder off of the screw threads.

 

Powdered, tape removed, ready for baking:

 

 

 

 

Second batch of parts:

 

 

 

 

All done, ready for install:

 

 

 

Preassembly:

 

 

 

 

Here’s what the (almost) stock handlebars look like:

 

 

 

The one change from OEM that’s already happened in this pic is the clamps that hold the levers on the bars.  I’ve replaced the original ones with these:

 

 

 

 

These ones include M10 threaded bosses on top, originally intended for installing stalk mirrors.  I didn’t want to trust those bosses exclusively, so I also recruited the handlebar retention bolts, which is why the final installation of my bracketry looks like this:

 

 

 

The OEM handlebar retention bolts have been replaced with longer ones, allowing a spacer underneath the head so that each bolt can clamp one end of its bracket there.  With the bolt heads now out in the open (instead of being recessed inside the cast aluminum triple-tree), I decided to cover them up with vinyl bolt head caps for a better look:

 

 

 

 

The Gerbing wireless heat controller clicks into place in its holder:

 

 

 

 

Easy to remove when not in use, in fact maybe just a little too easy?  It probably won’t fall out on bumps, but we’ll just have to see. 

 

I put a riser underneath the Spot Messenger bracket to lift it up:

 

ic

 

 

The riser is that shiny 1/2" tall block of powdercoated aluminum underneath the dull plastic bracket that's gripping the Messenger.  So now where the front of the Messenger overhangs the brake reservoir, it’s just high enough to weasel the brake reservoir cover off for annual bleeds:

 

 

 

Two security measures for the Zumo.  #1 was replacing the thumb nut on the arm with a RAM Pin-lock security knob:

 

 

 

The threaded part in my hand is what stays on the RAM arm.  That’s actually an assembly of two separate pieces: the threaded nut that clamps the RAM arm, and a collar around it that rotates freely and prevents anyone from loosening the threaded nut without the lobed key, which you see laying on the tabletop.  To loosen or tighten, the key goes into the receiving pattern on the backside of the nut assembly so you can transfer torque from your hand and turn the nut:

 

 

 

You can order keys and nuts with 4, 5, 6, or 7 lobes on them by changing the “5u” in the link to a “*u”,  where “*” is the number of lobes you want.  Here’s my five-lobe nut on the GPS mount’s arm:

 

 

 

 

It’s a bit of a snug fit getting the key in there to tighten up the nut, but it works:

 

 

 

 

As an alternative, I had considered a tri-groove security nut:

 

 

 

They’re designed to be hard to grab with anything but the socket that’s designed to work with it:

 

 

 

The nut and the socket that drives it are pretty compact, meaning they’d be great for very tight installation spaces and convenient for on-bike storage (for the socket).  I ended up not getting those, but it was nice to find out about them for future reference.

 

The other security measure, and maybe I’m to last one here to hear about this, is the Motopumps Zumo XT security lock:

 

 

The black plate gets sandwiched between the Zumo’s base and whatever you’re mounting it to.  The silver locking pin is designed to only engage with the supplied “key” (locking pin on right, key on left):

 

 

 

When you install the pin in the lock plate:

 

 

 

 

It prevents the release button from being pressed, so the mount just won't let go of the receiver. 

 

Of course all of that is just to keep an honest man honest.  If a scumbag really wants it, they can probably just break one of the RAM ball mount stems, snip the power cord, and be on their way in short order.  Basically it’s fine for gas stops and pee breaks, but I wouldn’t recommend leaving your GPS on your bike overnight with a setup like this.

 

Anyway, glad to be done with it all, and looking forward to putting some miles on the new bike this season.  See you all down the road.

 

[Hosstage]

Whew! I'm worn out just reading it!

I'm sorry to say I did chuckle at your expense a couple times, only because I could relate to the idea of best laid plans and how they actually go.

Good luck with all your mods.

[RandyShields]

Thanks for that detailed farkle review.  Two comments: (1) good idea on the extra strap around your Spot device.  On my Americade/New England ride several years ago, I relied just on 3M lock for mine.  Not surprisingly, when I looked down one day, it was gone.  The Spot map on my laptop showed it on the side of the road somewhere in NY.  The next one definitely got a security strap. (2)  I also had major challenges with the difficult Ilium bar riser install.  Their grip assembly tool works well, but getting the bolt out of the bars was hard.  I heated the bars/bolt and finally got it to release, but the major lesson learned was that my standard ratchet driver was just not up to the task.  I immediately ordered a 17" heavy duty breaker bar for any similar future job.  Installing the bar risers was one of the most difficult bike adds ever; their video makes it looks deceptively easy.

[Mike]

Mitch, as always, great stuff. I’m going to be exiting the RT world completely (selling my ‘14 and keeping the GSA), but I appreciate your technical expertise and your willingness to share your missteps. Being a couple of steps below “hamfisted” myself, it provides me some emotional relief from the angst I suffer when I totally screw up something that should be straightforward.  

[Rinkydink]

Damn, and to think I patted myself on the back for relocating my Sirius antenna and installing two battery pigtails. 😎

[MikeB60]

Mitch, great story! Your tab fabrication was most worthy. It did remind of an old saying " Will someone please take the screwdriver away from the engineer!"

[scout6]

Nice looking work Mitch.

[syntorz]

13 hours ago, Joe Frickin' Friday said:

 

 

 

Hard to spot in that photo, so here's a zoom-in:

 

You forgot to detail the step on how to get an RT leaned over that far!

[TSConver]

Great write up.  Only thought is, is the messenger also an emergency communicator like the in Reach?  If so you should have it on your body.  If you have an accident and the bike is 50 ft from you, you do not want to have to crawl to it to signal for help.

[BrianT]

Thanks for the write up.  Gave me an idea or two for my bike.  I know you're pain all to well about having an install that should be easy turn into a "WTF did I do?"  Looks like you got yourself setup up nicely for the long haul.

[JCtx]

I didn't know anything other than the mirrors had reverse threads, but good to know the bars might have too. My question is how the heck can we know which fasteners are reverse thread? Anyway, your issue reminded me when I had to loosen my mirrors when new, because they were installed wrong (misaligned badly). But had a hell of a time getting the left one off, since only the right one is supposed to have reverse threads (in case you fall, it loosens when pushed back, rather than breaking something). After applying more and more pressure, I figured that wasn't right, so went the other way, and it finally broke loose, so learned BOTH freaking mirrors have reverse threads on my R, meaning the left mirror would definitely cause damage if hit. Wonder why BMW did that. Oh well. Not sure if RTs do too, but if you can't loosen them, try both ways.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

2 hours ago, JCtx said:

I didn't know anything other than the mirrors had reverse threads, but good to know the bars might have too.

 

To be clear: the OEM bolts that hold the OEM steel handlebar inserts in the cast aluminum triple-tree are both right-hand thread.  

 

The left-handed bolt came with the Wunderlich bar riser kit.  The bar risers introduce a 1.5-inch offset from the OEM handlebar location which in turn means they provide a 1.5-inch torque arm.  When you push forward on the handlebars under heavy braking (with the risers in place), you end up putting torque on them, trying to rotate the risers forward.  For the right-side riser, this tends to tighten the right-hand-threaded bolt on that side, so all's well.  For the left-side riser, you need that left-threaded bolt so that any forward rotation of the riser can only tend to tighten the bolt.  

 

2 hours ago, JCtx said:

Not sure if RTs do too, but if you can't loosen them, try both ways

 

Those mirror-boss lever clamps I put on my bike both have right hand-threads on them.  They are specifically for the left and right sides of the bike: the left one has a small threaded boss near its bottom for attaching the fog light switch.

[dirtrider]

12 hours ago, Joe Frickin' Friday said:

Those mirror-boss lever clamps I put on my bike both have right hand-threads on them.  They are specifically for the left and right sides of the bike: the left one has a small threaded boss near its bottom for attaching the fog light switch.

Morning Mitch

 

On (R) bikes like JCtx has, both side mirror boss clamps are right hand thread but the little adapter that goes between the boss clamp & the mirror itself  has L/H threads in the female end on one side. Obviously the mirror on that side is also L/H threads.

 

On your own left hand thread "memory test" situation. When I install L/H thread cap head bolts in non OEM locations I usually clean the torx or allen socket then put a dab of red pint in the bottom of the torx or allen socket. That is a reminder in the future that something is different about that bolt or attachment. Seeing that dot of red is usually enough to jog my memory & force me to think about that fastener. 

 

 

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

18 minutes ago, dirtrider said:

On your own left hand thread "memory test" situation. When I install L/H thread cap head bolts in non OEM locations I usually clean the torx or allen socket then put a dab of red pint in the bottom of the torx or allen socket. That is a reminder in the future that something is different about that bolt or attachment. Seeing that dot of red is usually enough to jog my memory & force me to think about that fastener. 

 

A good tip, thanks.  Where were you two months ago when I needed this?  

[JCtx]

7 hours ago, dirtrider said:

On (R) bikes like JCtx has, both side mirror boss clamps are right hand thread, but the little adapter that goes between the boss clamp & the mirror itself has L/H threads in the female end on one side.

The boss clamp comment is correct, but I didn't mention that because I was just talking about the adapters. And BOTH adapters are reverse threads, at least on my bike. And since I don't have the best memory anymore, just checked MaxBMW, and it's the same reverse-thread adapter for both sides (p/n 51 16 7 698 694). Makes no sense to have both mirrors with either left or right-hand threads, but it is what it is. And yes, it's a great idea to mark reverse-threaded parts.

 

And what Mitch said on the left-hand thread on risers makes sense too, but glad he mentioned that the factory bolts are right-hand threads. As a side comment, I was surprised anybody would want risers on an RT, which already has an upright riding position... but maybe Mitch likes the reclined riding position. My 2014 RT was too upright for me. I got tired quickly. The slight forward angle on my R keeps my back straight, and it's all-day comfortable, with zero wrist pressure. But everybody has different preferences, of course.

[9Mary7]

On 2/21/2024 at 9:58 AM, syntorz said:

You forgot to detail the step on how to get an RT leaned over that far!

After following Mitch at D.A.R.T. 2023, I would say Practice.....lots of practice

BTW Mitch, that remains my favorite 1100RT picture.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

3 hours ago, 9Mary7 said:

BTW Mitch, that remains my favorite 1100RT picture.

 

I like it too, but it's only one of a series:

 

 

[JCtx]

I  think those older RTs had more cornering clearance than the new boats, no? I remember my ex-2014 touching earlier than my current sportier R. Tires still had a bit of chicken strips; there's zero on the R, but I did some changes: Bought a shorter center stand rubber stop (to tuck it up as much as possible), shorter peg feelers (1/2 as long), and set rear preload to 'max' (and suspension on 'dynamic'). The feelers still touch first, which is exactly what I wanted... but the X-Head valve covers and center stand are right behind (hit both when an RV was invading half my lane in Gila). Looks like Mitch knows how to exercise the RT. I also don't hang off, and crap like that. I ride at 'the pace', to also enjoy the scenery. We seem to have very similar riding styles.

[9Mary7]

2 hours ago, JCtx said:

I  think those older RTs had more cornering clearance than the new boats, no?

No. The 1100 RT-P's would drag the fairing where the later Hex, Cam, and Wet heads did not.

In all three of Mitch's pics you can see where the lowers are about an inch off the deck while the rocker covers still have about three inches.

The R models have always had more clearance due to their lack of lower fairings.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

21 minutes ago, 9Mary7 said:

No. The 1100 RT-P's would drag the fairing where the later Hex, Cam, and Wet heads did not.

 

Yup.  I think I grounded my 1200RT's peg feeler once in 60,000 miles, nothing else ever touched the pavement.  My 1100RT, OTOH...

 

 

To be fair, this all happened before I went through the Riding Smart course and learned how to position my body during turns to keep the bike more upright (I also started maxing out the preload adjuster to keep the rear riding high).  

[Skywagon]

My lean angle… for every year past age 55 my lean angle is 1 inch less. Pretty soon I’ll be straight up. 😁. Kidding mostly but some truth to the older I get the less aggressive I like to ride. 
 

I scraped my old 1150 RT a few times. I’ve never scraped the wet head. 

[duckhawk64]

3 minutes ago, Skywagon said:

My lean angle… for every year past age 55 my lean angle is 1 inch less. Pretty soon I’ll be straight up. 😁. Kidding mostly but some truth to the older I get the less aggressive I like to ride. 
 

I scraped my old 1150 RT a few times. I’ve never scraped the wet head. 

Same here.

[RandyShields]

3 minutes ago, Skywagon said:

I scraped my old 1150 RT a few times. I’ve never scraped the wet head.

Scraped the lower fairing on my 1150 RT a few times.  Only when I was chasing Kinney through some off camber twisties (and, like Mitch, pre-Ride Smart).  Since then, touched the peg feelers a couple of times on the 1200RT and 1200GS.  Also, only when chasing Kinney.  It had been so long since I touched down, the noise and vibrations scared the hell out of me.  I think the Sport/Hard setting of the suspension has helped.

[JCtx]

9 hours ago, Joe Frickin' Friday said:

this all happened before I went through the Riding Smart course and learned how to position my body during turns to keep the bike more upright (I also started maxing out the preload adjuster to keep the rear riding high).  

Body positioning only helps on the streets to make turn-in quicker... unless you already ran out of cornering clearance, AND you're running at the edge of the tire. And it's going to be a minute difference anyway. Plus you're only going to get tired quicker. Ha ha. Oh, and with a heavy bike, it makes even less of a difference. Just watch MotoGP races in the 90s; they didn't hang off at all (they just moved their butts to the side, and not even lean the torso more). And some of those guys still hold lap records (Gardner, Doohan, etc.). Unless you're a competitive racer where every 100th of a second counts, then yes. But unless you ran out of tire and/or cornering clearance, AND still need to go quicker, it's just for show. The track class places put emphasis on that to keep charging you money for something you'll never need (you need to walk before you run). Ha ha. And because it looks cool, but as I mentioned, not only is very tiring, but unless you're an expert, and can do it perfectly smoothly, it also upsets the chassis, and can actually be detrimental. And just to get this in perspective, we're talking about ONE freaking degree of lean 'savings'...and that is at FULL LEAN angles, which is nothing. I just lean my torso a little into the curve, which makes it a little easier to wrestle a big bike into curves all day (quicker turn-in). And if I feel racy on a stretch of twisties, slide my butt too (no knee down here). But even at the track at full gallop, I cannot tell the difference body positioning makes. And to make a bit more difference, you actually have to not only hang off, but go WAY DOWN too (to lower your CG even more), basically dragging elbows, and in the case of Jorge Martin, also shoulders (that guy is nuts. Ha ha). And remember the heavier the bike, the less difference that makes. So save your energy, and learn how to ride  your bike to its limit first, and THEN you can consider hanging off.

[9Mary7]

12 hours ago, Joe Frickin' Friday said:

 

Yup.  I think I grounded my 1200RT's peg feeler once in 60,000 miles, nothing else ever touched the pavement.  My 1100RT, OTOH...

 

 

To be fair, this all happened before I went through the Riding Smart course and learned how to position my body during turns to keep the bike more upright (I also started maxing out the preload adjuster to keep the rear riding high).  

That's what all our RT-P's looked like........ Good times!

[Hosstage]

We don't need no stinkin' ground clearance and sticky tires...

 

 

[9Mary7]

10 hours ago, Hosstage said:

We don't need no stinkin' ground clearance and sticky tires...

 

 

That's an old video....I wonder if he's still alive

[EdM]

On 2/23/2024 at 4:46 AM, Joe Frickin' Friday said:

 

Yup.  I think I grounded my 1200RT's peg feeler once in 60,000 miles, nothing else ever touched the pavement.  My 1100RT, OTOH...

 

 

To be fair, this all happened before I went through the Riding Smart course and learned how to position my body during turns to keep the bike more upright (I also started maxing out the preload adjuster to keep the rear riding high).  

 My 94 R1100RS has a small flat spot on the left cylinder head guard where it touched down in a hairpin turn going over Beartooth pass once. Had a sensation of the bike not wanting to lean any further and noticed the abrasion when I stopped at the top. Never happened again, I upgraded to Ohlins on it shortly afterward and gained some ride height back.

[Stiggy]

Touched the toe of my boot a couple of times. (That'll teach me to move my foot up so that the toes are on the pegs when playing around.)

Other than that- nothing.