Keeping it funny…

[John Ranalletta]

Retirement Goes Rural: More Retirees Ditching Florida For Southern Appalachia

Now, all those old people from Florida will be in the left lane, driving 30 mph with their turn signals blinking on our roads. 

 

History repeats itself.  This is the 2nd time in my lifetime.  When we bought our north Georgia cabin in 2005, Floridians were moving north to this area to avoid hurricanes and to sell their FL r/e at a profit.  The locals called them "half backs" as they first moved from northern states to FL then half way back north.

 

[bendbill]

18 hours ago, John Ranalletta said:

Retirement Goes Rural: More Retirees Ditching Florida For Southern Appalachia

Now, all those old people from Florida will be in the left lane, driving 30 mph with their turn signals blinking on our roads. 

 

History repeats itself.  This is the 2nd time in my lifetime.  When we bought our north Georgia cabin in 2005, Floridians were moving north to this area to avoid hurricanes and to sell their FL r/e at a profit.  The locals called them "half backs" as they first moved from northern states to FL then half way back north.

 

Decades ago, I recall people calling it the J curve two-step

[wbw6cos]

[TEWKS]

And on a more serious side…

 

I was leaving a restaurant a few weeks ago and there was a younger guy, maybe thirty who was standing outside waiting on someone. Double amputee (probably military) I nodded in respect, but didn’t ask him what happened. Right, wrong IDK. 

[Hosstage]

3 hours ago, TEWKS said:

I was leaving a restaurant a few weeks ago and there was a younger guy, maybe thirty who was standing outside waiting on someone. Double amputee (probably military) I nodded in respect, but didn’t ask him what happened. Right, wrong IDK. 

You know how Rougarou handles it, he asks them how they F'd up! I do not have the balls for that.

[TEWKS]

 

 

It was at this moment….  DON’T click if in church. 

[Lowndes]

On 4/12/2024 at 2:24 PM, TEWKS said:

I was leaving a restaurant a few weeks ago and there was a younger guy, maybe thirty who was standing outside waiting on someone. Double amputee (probably military) I nodded in respect, but didn’t ask him what happened. Right, wrong IDK. 

 

Maybe just ask if he is a veteran, if he answers positive possibly ask which service, then just thank him for his service, solemnity depending on the situation.  IF you didn't pay for his meal.

 

 

On 4/12/2024 at 5:47 PM, Hosstage said:

You know how Rougarou handles it, he asks them how they F'd up! I do not have the balls for that.

 

It's not the balls, it's the bona fides, and Rougarou has them in spades and the other guy will know it immediately.  And you may have them, too.  ??

[Hosstage]

46 minutes ago, Lowndes said:

 

It's not the balls, it's the bona fides, and Rougarou has them in spades

Fact

[Skywagon]

Roug is the real deal. 

[RTinNC]

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer, you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake, he should never have gotten down there, send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers,

"Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?!"

 

[TEWKS]

Are law students warned before they commit a big part of their life to the profession that they are going to be the “butt” of many jokes? 

 

Yup, they are and it’s all funny, till they send you the invoice! 

[RTinNC]

[RTinNC]

[Hosstage]

That reminds me of Craig Stadler (The Walrus) during an interview, the reporter asked "We noticed you're using a new putter this weekend, what made you switch?"

He said "The old one didn't float."

 

So relatable to anyone who's played a round or two.

[MikeB60]

3 hours ago, Hosstage said:

That reminds me of Craig Stadler (The Walrus) during an interview, the reporter asked "We noticed you're using a new putter this weekend, what made you switch?"

He said "The old one didn't float."

 

So relatable to anyone who's played a round or two.

I actually considered that today. However, being that it's a Scotty Cameron I came to my senses. It is on a time out!

[John Ranalletta]

Golf bag fell behind my car.  Broke driver head clean off the graphite shaft when I backed over it. I consider it a sign. 

[SDCRJohn]

Three guy's were traveling in a car. As they approached an intersection the guy in the back seat yelled at the driver: "Hey stop, its a red light!" But the driver runs it. The front seat passenger turns around and says: "Oh don't worry, his brother does it all the ttime."

Soon they approach another intersection and again, the driver runs a red light. The guy in back seat yells this time: "Are you crazy, that light was red!" Again, the front passenger turns around and say's "Relax man, his brother does that all the time."

Finally, they come to an intersection where the light is green. But this time the driver comes to a complete stop and starts looking around. The backseat guy again yells: "Dude what is wrong with you, now the light is green and you stop to look around, what are you looking for?"

The driver replies: "My brother."

[taylor1]

A man named Bill was driving down the freeway and noticed a huge billboard that read "Talking Dog for Sale." He didn't give it much thought until the next exit where there was another sign that read "Last Chance Talking Dog for Sale." 
Knowing that he had a bit of time to kill, Bill decided to check it out. Once off the freeway he followed multiple signs reading talking dog for sale just ahead. He then came upon a huge house with a sign pointing to it. Bill decided that since he had come this far, he would check it out. He knocked on the door, a gentleman answered and asked if he was there for the dog in which he replied yes. He was invited in and immediately a dog walks up and says, hey how are you today? Bill was floored and in disbelief.
The dog then proceeds to tell Bill before any negotiations take place, that he needs to live his final days in the lap of luxury. The best of food, drink, and the softest bed that could be found. He then states that he had an extremely stressful career and that he now deserves to have the remainder of his life stress free.
Bill is flabbergasted and in disbelief by all this, but continues to talk to the dog, in which he asked, what did you do?
Well, the dog says, I first started to work for the Queen on England running around the palace keeping tabs on the King to make sure that he wasn't cheating on the queen or have any thoughts of getting rid of her.

Next, I came back and worked for the State Dep. where I was taken to different foreign embassies and worked myself into high level meetings. The dog mentioned that he had saved thousands of lives uncovering different plots. The dog then says that he worked on a few other top-secret missions, but would not talk about them, as they could put his life in jeopardy.

With Bills head spinning with astonishment, he looks and asks the owner, well how much do you want for him?
Looking at the dog with disgust he reply's just give me twenty bucks. Bill asks the owner in disbelief, why so cheap?
Again, the owner looks at the dog with disgust and says, he's a bullshitter!!

[Rougarou]

On 4/12/2024 at 5:47 PM, Hosstage said:

You know how Rougarou handles it, he asks them how they F'd up! I do not have the balls for that.

 

You gotta read the room/person.  Some of those vet's are a bit touchy about getting blown up and shot at.

 

Took the bikes in for an inspection a couple of weeks ago.  Guy asked how long I was in the Marine Corps, I told him.  He said he did 16 years in the Army,... I apologized for him having to do that.  I asked why only 16, he said he was medically retired for getting blown up......I told him not to get blown up.  Anyway, the VA found some sort of growth in his brain housing group and that was his last week at work as he was getting his grape cut open to yank whatever was growing out.  He had a sense of humor on his injuries.  Some of those sensitive ones,......are, well, just sensitive,....they were prolly Air Force and got a blister playing Minecraft

[TEWKS]

That’s just nuts!