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There are things worse than death.


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My 92 year old mother died yesterday. She was experiencing pain in her stomach, the EMT's came, took her to the ER where her pressure was low and pulse irregular, they gave her medication to ease the pain as her heart just gave out. We got there just before she died.


Last week she visited us for a few days and our son and family came for supper. We had a fun evening. A week ago today I took her to Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery in St. Louis to visit my dad's grave.


She said she wanted to go to a funeral home and "look at their work" because she didn't like to see people with a lot of makeup on in the casket. I said "You want me to go to the door of a funeral home and ask if we can see any dead people?" She said "Yes". I offered to drive her there and she could look alone as I wasn't asking or going.


Mom and I could talk about this stuff and laugh at the same time. Her granddaughter got a red light ticket that shows she and and mom laughing about something and my niece didn't stop (Distracted driving for sure!)


Wednesday I went over for the weekly visit. Dr appt (shot in the eye), shopping, lunch. Had a nice day. Talked to her twice on the phone Thursday.


Mom had macular degeneration, high blood pressure, 5 stents, diabetes and was hard of hearing. She lived independently in a retirement complex. Her mind was sharp and I never worried that someone was going to cheat her out of her money.As a child of the Depression, she worried about having enough money for the rest of her life. I told her I was going to look down into the casket and say "I told you so." as she had sufficient resources to live for decades. We both laughed. We shared a similar sense of humor. When I left to go home that day our last words to each other were "I love you."


She often said she feared going blind the most and didn't want to live in long term care.


She wondered, as many her age do, why she was still here. She told me she lived a good life, had no regrets and was ready to go at any time. Neither she nor I nor anyone else expected it to be yesterday.


What a blessing for her and us that her death was short and painless.


I'm sad that's she is gone. I'm happy how it happened.


And a short m/c related story. I went to Nova Scotia last year on the bike. Was gone 24 days and mom didn't like me being away so long. When I told her I was going back again this year she wasn't happy. My sister tells me that mom thought I was going back because I liked it so much that I wanted to move there. She could never understand that it was just fun to ride.


Is there someone you love that you haven't told recently? Do it today. :thumbsup:


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Bud, thanks for taking some time to post about your mother's passing. And thanks too for your closing reminder. You're some kinda guy and as they say the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Your mother was quite unique and we're sure you'll miss her greatly. How could you not. Our thoughts are with you. Take care.


Paul and Kath

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Death is always hard, but remembrances like this are beautiful. Wonderful that you had such a lovely, happy relationship. I hope those memories help take the edge off your loss.

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I'm very sorry for your loss, Bud. Thank you for sharing this story of your Mom. It's generous of you, since so many folks have been there or have yet to go through it. I like how you and your Mom have handled it all. Peace to you in the coming months and years knowing what you meant to her.

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Sorry about your mom, Bud. Life's a ride. You know that better than most. It sounds like hers was a good one.

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Bud -

I remember reading your post recently and laughing at the sense of humor exhibited by both of you (regarding the purses, especially); it reminded me of my grandmother, who is just a few years older than your mom, and it sounded very much like a conversation she and I might share.


I'm sorry for your loss, but since we all have to go, we might as well go on our terms, and it sounds like she did. Should the rest of us only be so lucky.


My grandmother lives a few hours away, but we try to get up and see her regularly - especially to get her together with our son/her only great grandchild - and send pics regularly, etc. Probably won't get up there this month, but I think I'll call her today - thanks for the suggestion.


I hope you and your family have a chance to share some stories in this time of mourning (and, if you're like my family, a sizable amount of tequila).




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Sounds like the best possible circumstances for such a difficult day. Peace to you and your family, and here's to the Moms of the world.

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Thank you all for your kind words.


This community is very supportive of members even for people they have never personally met.


It means a lot to me.

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I'm sorry for your loss. I feel your pain.


I lost my 96 YO mom last year. She was a wonderful Mom.


The memories will carry you.

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Dave McReynolds

Sorry for your loss, Bud. My mother passed a couple of years ago at 89. Similar story. We miss them and wish we could have done more, but at that age, death is usually a blessing when it comes.

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...What a blessing for her and us that her death was short and painless....I'm sad that's she is gone. I'm happy how it happened....


Is there someone you love that you haven't told recently? Do it today. :thumbsup:


Bud - sorry for your loss. We can only hope for our love ones to have a short and painless passing!


While I call my 95 year old father often I need to it more!

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Is there someone you love that you haven't told recently? Do it today. :thumbsup:


Guilty, thanks for the reminder. Sorry for your loss, Bud! :(


Edit... Ok Tim just said the same thing but honestly, I didn't preread the posts. ;)




Edited by TEWKS
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Bud, I am sorry for your loss. May your family find peace and joy as you gather to celebrate your mother's beautiful life.

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Charles Elms

Bud, sorry to hear about your loss. I was fortunate enough to have my Dad live with us for the last three years of his life. He died last year at 10 days over 100! Sounds like your Mom lead a full life.


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  • 1 year later...

It's has been two years today.


I wanted to tell all of you how much your words meant to me when I first posted. The support of others, even though we may not hae met, is so helpful to those who suffer loss.


It may be the hormones talking, but I'm tearing up right now remembering all of you reaching out to me.


Thanks everyone. :wave::thumbsup:

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Bud - I'd not thought about this thread or the timing at all! I'm so glad we got to meet you and Nancy and your family. I hope your day held many happy memories of your mom, and I'm glad we got to spend a little bit of it with you.




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Keeping family and friends in our hearts and memories is a blessing.

24 and 23 years for me since my dad and mom passed.

When interacting with my kids, and grandkids,

I try to remember what my folks did.

They were pretty awesome, even if back in the early days I didn't realize it.

Our time together was much shorter than I wanted, and for a while that could bring negative emotions into the picture.

So, I eventually "learned" something they had tried teaching me every day, by example.

Family is what matters most.

Take each day and enjoy it.

Life will give you plenty of chances to show your

true character, rejoice in the opportunities.

It sounds like your mom was a classy lady, and I can tell

she did a great job with you.

Here's to her...


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