Reasonable Discussion: Expanding the Death Penalty

[David]

I'm serious about this--I think we should carefully consider adding the disposal of bubble gum in parking lots to the crimes punishable by lethal injection. If I step in one more big chunk of gum on a 100-degree day, I'm going to narrowly avoid the death penalty myself.

[smiller]

If you add being too !@#$% lazy to lift the toilet seat in public restrooms then I'm with you.

[David]

Done.

 

What's up with that? Where is it acceptable to splash piss all over the lid and then just walk out of the stall, kindly holding the door open for the next person?

[WURTY]

That next Jackass your holding the door for might be the guy who spit out the Gum !!!

 

[David]

[AnRSguy]

Maybe we should have sections called "Walk Well" and "Pee Well", both subtitled "Watch Where You're Going". Then we could discuss the merits of doing both properly.

[Quinn]

Can I add those people that open their car doors and set their drink cups out beside their car before driving off?

 

 

[Dave McReynolds]

Done.

 

What's up with that? Where is it acceptable to splash piss all over the lid and then just walk out of the stall, kindly holding the door open for the next person?

 

The problem I've found, especially in National Parks where the restrooms aren't cleaned very often, and people are walking around flip flops, is that they don't want to stand in the dribble left by the previous person. So they stand a little further back and their dribble extends a little further back than the previous person's.... Pretty soon, people are standing 10 feet back, which is outside the range of most of their concealed weapons.

[bakerzdosen]

Oh, can we include people who haven't figured out how to flush?

[StuGotz]

Speak for yourself Dave, I have remarkable range..

 

MB>

[Joel]

Even if they don't stick to my shoe, I'm there when it comes to cigarette butts. I hate it so much, I'd go for a "one-and-done" law: drop one butt in public, you're done, literally. If it were possible to kill someone twice, I'd vote for that in cases of aggravated butt flicking. Had to pick one out of my lap the other day while riding in traffic, courtesy of some pinhead who'd be shuffling off the mortal coil right now if I were king.

[Matts_12GS]

Even if they don't stick to my shoe, I'm there when it comes to cigarette butts. I hate it so much, I'd go for a "one-and-done" law: drop one butt in public, you're done, literally. If it were possible to kill someone twice, I'd vote for that in cases of aggravated butt flicking. Had to pick one out of my lap the other day while riding in traffic, courtesy of some pinhead who'd be shuffling off the mortal coil right now if I were king.

 

Especially if they dump their ashtrays at red lights.

[Gregori]

I once had the pleasure of rolling up next to someone just as they dropped his bag of Mc-D's trash out the window onto the road at my feet.

 

I subsequently had the REAL pleasure of putting it back - into his lap - followed immediately by the bag that had previously contained it.

[russell_bynum]

I once had the pleasure of rolling up next to someone just as they dropped his bag of Mc-D's trash out the window onto the road at my feet.

 

I subsequently had the REAL pleasure of putting it back - into his lap - followed immediately by the bag that had previously contained it.

 

Classic!

 

 

[Twisties]

I've done that with lit butts.

[edge51]

Jeezuh Creepers what will they think of next?

[SageRider]

Speak for yourself Dave, I have remarkable range..

 

MB>

It's the aim that needs work!

[DaveTheAffable]

If you add being too !@#$% lazy to lift the toilet seat in public restrooms then I'm with you.

 

Resolved with this recently seen sign:

 

"We at Cedar Creek Restaurant aim to please.

When using our bathroom, will you aim too? Please?"

[Huzband]

How about the doofuss that decides to wash his windshield at 45 MPH, while you're behind him on the bike?

 

Where do they think that water goes?

[SeanC]

Even if they don't stick to my shoe, I'm there when it comes to cigarette butts. I hate it so much, I'd go for a "one-and-done" law: drop one butt in public, you're done, literally. If it were possible to kill someone twice, I'd vote for that in cases of aggravated butt flicking. Had to pick one out of my lap the other day while riding in traffic, courtesy of some pinhead who'd be shuffling off the mortal coil right now if I were king.

I'm with you on this, but instead of executing the fackers right away, let's lock 'em up for a few weeks without smokes first.

[russell_bynum]

How about the doofuss that decides to wash his windshield at 45 MPH, while you're behind him on the bike?

 

Where do they think that water goes?

 

I always thought that was kind of funny. It's better when it's straight water and not some horrible-tasting/smelling de-icer/cleaner stuff, but I always get a chuckle out of that when it happens to me.

[Lynn]

Even if they don't stick to my shoe, I'm there when it comes to cigarette butts. I hate it so much, I'd go for a "one-and-done" law: drop one butt in public, you're done, literally. If it were possible to kill someone twice, I'd vote for that in cases of aggravated butt flicking. Had to pick one out of my lap the other day while riding in traffic, courtesy of some pinhead who'd be shuffling off the mortal coil right now if I were king.

I'm with you on this, but instead of executing the fackers right away, let's lock 'em up for a few weeks without smokes first.

 

And with Skyrockets in Flight or It's a Small World (or something equally annoying) playing, at a good volume, on continuous loop the entire time.

 

 

[BFish]

I'm serious about this--I think we should carefully consider adding the disposal of bubble gum in parking lots to the crimes punishable by lethal injection. If I step in one more big chunk of gum on a 100-degree day, I'm going to narrowly avoid the death penalty myself.

 

any reason to limit it to bubblegum only? death penalty may be the easy solution. how about ABC gum imbedded in all human hair on the guilty individual. head, facial, underarm, etc. would take a lifetime to remove.

[Patallaire]

SIgn in a restaurant~ Stand closer, it is not as big as you think!

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

Add to the death penalty list:

 

people who stand around while the checkout clerk scans their items, and only when the grand total is announced do they finally whip out their checkbook, ask for a pen, and start filling out a check. It's like the whole process is a surprise for them.

 

 

[smiller]

whip out their checkbook

To pay a $5.97 total...

 

[tallman]

If the gum is still pliable, its still chewable.

Waste not, want not.

Same thing with lit butts.

They're just offering to share w/you.

McDonalds bag?

Probably just had some extra food being passed to someone they thought ws hungry.

Windshield washing?

Obviously someone who is hoping they can help you clean your windshield and visor too.

Ashtry dumping?

Probably and eco-friendly attempt to replenish topsoil or add traction to public roads.

 

Now drivers whose cars leak oil/tranny/brake juice and/or smoke?

That's a

 

Oh, and toilet issues?

Gentlemen stand closer, the hose ain't as long

nor the pump as strong

as you think.

Sign from restaurant.

[Albert]

OK I'm on a airport theme here:

1. Everybody who waits until the metal detector goes off before they remember their keys, watch, zippo, Uzi, etc.

2. Everybody who gets to the security checkpoint and only then realizes they need photo ID and a boarding pass (which they can't find now).

3. Everybody who drags an oversized bag for carry on, then can't figure out where they'll put it.

4. Everybody who reads a newspaper in the middle seat using an arm span wide enough that the person on the left can read the want ads and the one on the right the funnys.

 

LINE 'EM UP!

 

OK I feel better now.

[tallman]

That's when you discard your gum on the edge of the newpaper, let your lit burr ignite the other side, and then dump your meal to put out the fire.

 

 

 

I forgot, having just returned from a meal at an outside restaurant that allows smoking,

those who light up and then hold their smoke at arms length from them, putting it directly next to you.

Yes, we could have waited an hour for a seat inside, but this girl lit 'em up, then extended her arm as far from her as possible putting it right nest to us.

I think the phlegm I coughed up put it out,

 

 

 

 

 

 

finally.

[TyTass]

I would like to add to the list person(s) who teach cashiers the "hotdog" method of returning change. You know what I mean ...

 

1. Bills askew but curled (into a quasi-hotdog bun)

2. The receipt on top of that (the dog)

3. And the loose change precariously sprinked over all (like diced onions)

 

If in the act of handing the "change hotdog" to the customer the bills don't uncurl, dropping change everywhere - further slowing the line, the line must always wait as the customer deconstructs this "change hotdog" to free up at least one hand to either push the cart or pick-up their bags. Because only then can they clear the way for the next victim of the "change hotdog."

[Husker Red]

 

Sign over the urinal in very small town bar:

 

"The same hands that pick your cigarette butts out of the urinal serve you beer."

 

Unfourtunately that policy applies to smokers and non-smokers alike.

[tallman]

Boy am I glad I don't smoke beer, or drink cigarettes.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

I would like to add to the list person(s) who teach cashiers the "hotdog" method of returning change. You know what I mean ...

 

1. Bills askew but curled (into a quasi-hotdog bun)

2. The receipt on top of that (the dog)

3. And the loose change precariously sprinked over all (like diced onions)

 

If in the act of handing the "change hotdog" to the customer the bills don't uncurl, dropping change everywhere - further slowing the line, the line must always wait as the customer deconstructs this "change hotdog" to free up at least one hand to either push the cart or pick-up their bags. Because only then can they clear the way for the next victim of the "change hotdog."

 

There are two ways they do this:

 

1) hand you an assembled "change hotdog," or

2) try to assemble the hotdog in your hand.

 

If they go for option #1, well, I'm screwed.

 

But when they attempt option 2, there's an out: their first step is to lay the bills across my open palm. Before they can sprinkle the coins on top, my thumb comes down and flips the bills up vertically between thumb and forefinger, forcing them to deposit the loose change on my again-vacant palm. Problem solved.

 

But don't let that stop you from adminstering the ultimate penalty, either to the mindless student cashiers or their malicious "hotdog" instructors.

[AnRSguy]

And whatever happened to counting a customers change back to them?

[Firefight911]

And whatever happened to counting a customers change back to them?

 

That went away the second the electronic cash register came in to vogue.

 

For fun, and I do this A LOT, when the clerk gives you your total, for example - $4.27, I give them a $5 bill. I wait until they ring it in to compute the change and then tell them I have the change. I hand it over and just bask in the many blank stares I get.

 

I've actually been told that I couldn't do this because the machine already figured out the numbers and they would get in trouble if they didn't do what the machine said. I laughed, explained, and STILL got a blank stare with the explanation that their register would be "off" at the end of the day and they could lose their job.

 

[tallman]

Or the corollary, after the $5, and they make change, give them .02, and watch the meltdown as they can't figure out you'd get 3 quarters back so you don't have to carry pennies.

[TyTass]

Phil,

 

That's too funny. I do the same thing sometimes.

 

Mitch,

 

You bring up a great point. My post assumed the hotdog was assembled prior to the victim reaching for it. But you are correct, some want to slow things even further by building it in your hand (which gives the victim an easy out).

 

But even if they build it first, I've found an out. If I'm in a rush or the line appears to be in a rush, I open one of the bags an tell the cashier to just put it all in the bag. They usually look for a confirmation nod. It's a mess but it gets me out quickly.

[AnRSguy]

And whatever happened to counting a customers change back to them?

 

That went away the second the electronic cash register came in to vogue.

 

For fun, and I do this A LOT, when the clerk gives you your total, for example - $4.27, I give them a $5 bill. I wait until they ring it in to compute the change and then tell them I have the change. I hand it over and just bask in the many blank stares I get.

 

I've actually been told that I couldn't do this because the machine already figured out the numbers and they would get in trouble if they didn't do what the machine said. I laughed, explained, and STILL got a blank stare with the explanation that their register would be "off" at the end of the day and they could lose their job.

 

 

It's not so much that the register told them how much change was due me, even though with the level brainpower these days, the auto computation is probably a good thing. It's rather or not they made a mistake taking the right amount out of the drawer.

[russell_bynum]

I would like to add to the list person(s) who teach cashiers the "hotdog" method of returning change. You know what I mean ...

 

1. Bills askew but curled (into a quasi-hotdog bun)

2. The receipt on top of that (the dog)

3. And the loose change precariously sprinked over all (like diced onions)

 

If in the act of handing the "change hotdog" to the customer the bills don't uncurl, dropping change everywhere - further slowing the line, the line must always wait as the customer deconstructs this "change hotdog" to free up at least one hand to either push the cart or pick-up their bags. Because only then can they clear the way for the next victim of the "change hotdog."

 

The other day it was: Bills, then change, then receipt. These people need to be dipped slowly feet-first into the deep frier.

 

Same with the toilet seat pissers. Take-em to the sewage treatment plant and tie them to a stake in front of the raw sewage discharge line.

[Misterxyz]

[TyTass]

You do realize don't you that overtly implied in your post is that you are quite obviously annoyed by people who are annoyed by others.

:dopeslap:

[sgendler]

Personally, I'd rather have every cashier ask me if I even want the receipt. In 99.9% of cases, I could care less. Recycle that crap. Or, better yet, don't print it to begin with. Especially when it is 5 yards long from the supermarket. Do they think I'm going to try to return that one yogurt cup that turned out to have a hole in the lid?

 

The apple store emails me my receipt - so much more effective. Permanently archived and available on demand. For that, I might be convinced to give them real contact info on my supermarket membership card doohickey - one swipe and the receipt is automatically emailed to me.

 

Has anyone else noticed that the old information number is invariably registered at every store with a discount card. 555-1212 - works every time, in any area code. You'd think they'd be wise to this. Even more amazingly, cashiers don't even recognize the number any more since most grew up in the age of the cellphone.

[SeanC]

The apple store emails me my receipt - so much more effective. Permanently archived and available on demand. For that, I might be convinced to give them real contact info on my supermarket membership card doohickey - one swipe and the receipt is automatically emailed to me.

Excellent idea. Now if only Apple stores would hire employees half as competent as average grocery store clerks....

[hANNAbONE]

Maybe we should have sections called "Walk Well" and "Pee Well", both subtitled "Watch Where You're Going". Then we could discuss the merits of doing both properly.

 

i cAN smell a new kinda "TechDaze" coming...