ATGATTEWTBOOGAYPUH

[Vagabond]

I get 45 mpg. Almost all the time. And when it varies, it’s usually not by more than 2 or 3 points. So when I left Fargo Thursday night for Minot, a 188 mile leg I figured ‘no problem’. I’ve ridden the beast 200 miles before on my 5? Gal. tank, so I’ll just burn over there and overnight on my way back home to Denver.

 

Well, the tunes are turned up to 11 in my helmet and Aerosmith is luvin’ someone in an elevator and I’m ignoring the yellow low fuel light cause it usually has a mind of it’s own. Sometimes comes on at 150 miles, sometimes at 110. Just depends on it’s mood. This time it came on at 120 miles and I’m thinking no biggee.

 

I am however starting to question my decision to roll thru, and decide to take the next gas exit. I’m turning about 170 miles. (singing in my helmet now) “luv in the el-a-va-tor” “livin’ it up when I’m gooooin’ dow…………” er…….. what was that?.......... the motor hiccups……… noooooooooo. ………… speed starts dropping……. Down to 70 …… motor puking out now….. shift down…….. can’t hear a damn thing……… Aerosmith is still screaming in my ears at “11” about the elevator……….. down to 35…….. do I pull in the clutch and go for the coast yet?.............. stumble stumble goes the motor…… back up to 40……. Down to 20……… eyes GLUED to the tach……….. Motor rev’s up! Clunk clunk clunk. Shifting all over the place and speed goes back up! Let’s see, what is optimum speed to hold when running on vapors????? Think dude think! ………… I choose 70! Motor is running fine for the moment………. No farm houses around…….. how far to the next town?......... still motoring along …………. Was it really the fuel?.......... do I have an electrical problem? ………….. still cruising………….. er, nope. It’s the fuel. Speed dropping again, now faster. Please please please make the top of the hill! And she does, sputtering her last as we roll over the top. Clutch is in now and coasting at around 50.

 

As contingency plans are rolling thru my head I suddenly realize this is going to REALLY SUCK! Why? I’m not too bothered about being stranded without fuel for awhile, hell that just falls into the “further adventure” file. Problem is, I don’t have locking cases, I have nylon Tourmaster saddle bags. And I have a fairly large and quite heavy tank bag with electronic toys in it. And I have my work briefcase with more electronics (laptop). . . . and I have about a hundred pounds of armour covering every inch of my body. Wherever I have to walk to, I’m going to have to haul most of this crap with me. I can’t leave it on the bike sitting on the freeway. North Dakotans are nice, but let’s be real here.

 

Holy schmoley, way off in the distance is an exit and there is one lonely building near it! We’re rolling down the hill, losing ground speed until it is just a crawl, perhaps 3 mph, it goes and goes and goes. Flashers on, and the occasional push off with my left foot to keep moving forward. Still rolling at just faster than a walk. Now Boston is ripping thru my helmet at same sound levels. I will NOT stop this bike one millisecond before it ceases on it’s own. Blaring music be damned!

 

I make it all the way to the off ramp and about 100 feet up the first incline, coming finally to a complete stop.

 

First things first. Dig out my Treo phone slash mp3 player and turn the music OFF! There. Thank goodness for silence! I look around and assess. The sun is down and darkness is falling fast. The freeway is empty (it is N. Dakota ya know). Stormy rain clouds are threatening to cut loose on me and……. What’s that?.... did I just hear a wolf howl in the distance? (crickets chirping). <Just kidding, about the wolf howl>

 

Well it’s only about 300 yards to the top of the loooooong ramp so I decide to push. Better to sweat a bit and get the bike to the store than carry all that crap over a mile to the store, buy a gas can and return…….. and that’s if the place is even open!

 

50 yards into it I have an epiphany. The stunning revelation hits me that I have found an exception to the Golden Rule of MC riding. ATGATT only applies to motorcycles that have fuel in them. I’m taking this crap off! Shed the First Gear jacket. Shed the liner. Off comes the electric vest. Gloves be damned. I am now free to pursue my Hercules impersonation with no further hindrances. 15 minutes later, the stop sign at the top of the ramp is mine.

 

From here I can almost completely coast the ¾ miles to the gas station and I see lights on. Woo hoo! I have the best guardian angel!

 

Coasting to a stop at the pump, two locals stare at me as though they’ve seen the first totally silent bike in the world.

 

Tank is full and . . . what’s that say? . . . 4.5 gallons? My tank only holds 4.5 gallons? I should probably make a mental note of that for future reference.

 

Turn the key on. Kill switch to “on”, and listen. There it is. What is todays favorite sound. The little fuel pump buzzing as it pumps gas, precious gas through the lines. Starter button is engaged and . . . I am forgiven. She sputters and then purrs like nothing ever happened.

 

Back on road again, heading into Minot at 80 smooth powerful miles per hour, I’m chuckling. In fact I realize I’ve been grinning thru the whole debacle. Some guys would have been mad. Cussing. Worried. Scared even. But I wasn’t, and you know why? Because I was riding. And when I’m riding, I’m happy. Truly happy.

 

Ride on. Ride like the wind. And remember ATGATTEWTBOOGAYPUH.

 

AllTheGearAllTheTimeExceptWhenTheBikesOutOfGasAndYourPushingUpaHill!

[KMG_365]

" . . . but . . . this one goes to eleven!!"

 

 

( . . . and from the title I thought you were riding somewhere in Australia! )

[EffBee]

Well written and entertaining. But you had me at the title. Anything that ends with BOO GAY PUH is not slipping under any moderator's radar.

 

Glad it all worked out (pun intended).

[Joel]

 

Standing by to see how Steves1150 responds to this escalation in the ATGATT battle.

[pdegnan]

Great Story! BTW, what was taking you to "why not Minot"??

[Fasterpill]

It was so good that it took me further than half way through before I realized, "hey, this is LONG!" Then I forgot again. And now I know what ATTGATT stands for and that I am an ATGUOLOCR (usually on long or colder rides). Of course I use all of the Gears...

 

What kind of bike are you riding?

[ShovelStrokeEd]

170 and out of gas? What's wrong with your bike? I misjudged a gas top coming from MO over to Nashville and wound up doing 187 miles on the 4.7 in my S. It actually took 4.7 gallons too. Don't think I would have made 190. 85 indicated all the way.

[Kathy R]

Great story telling.

 

I have never, ever, run out of gas on a motorcycle.

Why?

I cannot push any of the bikes I have owned up a hill.

There is an advantage to knowing you have limitations

[AdventurePoser]

Entertaining story-a great read!!

 

Thanks,

 

Steve in So Cal

[Fasterpill]

UH OH, Kathy...

 

Just saying that is bad gas karma.

[Vagabond]

Why Minot? Because it happened to get in my way! Short meeting with a sales rep actually on my way home.

 

Kind of bike? '97 850R. Fairly nekked, except for the small/med sized Givi I put on her. See pic attached.

 

170 and out of gas?? Yeh, I don't get it either. You'd think the 850 would sip a little less than it's liter+ big brother. IIRC, it normally drank a little less than my sons '95 1100R.

 

I normally get 45mpg. Most of the return trip I got around 41, and one tank I actually got 33mpg! That one really had me scratching my head! Here's the kicker, it was running like a top the whole time! Extrememly smooth and powerful. Quick easy roll ons from 85 to 100 while passing trucks. Smooth as glass idle, smooth all the way thru all gears. Grant it there were some pretty good headwinds for much of the trip, but 33?

 

I keep thinking I should do a TBS, it's been over a year, about 15K miles... but it runs so good and smooth. Probly should do one anyway.

 

Kathy, pushing is only recommended for character building excersizes and creating entertaining conversation for the cages as they drive by. The R is the recommended bike for this excersize because of it's reduced weight.

[_D_]

No no--"Why not Minot?" "Freezin's the Reason!"

 

If there's a bright spot at the center of the universe, you were at the town that it's farthest from.

 

And believe it or not, you probably could have left everything on the bike if you'd had to...the three (at most) cars that would have passed by wouldn't have stopped, I'm sure.

 

Derek

[sgendler]

I can beat that. I was in the same general location (the Dakotas, at about 11pm) and made the same assumptions about how far I could go on a tank of gas. I eventually got nervous when the low fuel light had been on for a while and slowed it down a bit to preserve what I had left. I eventually wound up creeping along at about 50mph, which was about as slow as I could stand to go out there in the middle of nowhere. At long last, I spotted a gas station at the exit that I was slowly approaching. The motor started sputtering as I moved into the exit lane and it quit outright just at the apex of the right hand exit. I pulled in the clutch, coasted through the red light and came to an unassisted stop right next to a pump. The local cop came in behind me, all agitated about running a red light at 7mph in the middle of nowhere at 11pm, but he relaxed once he realized why I had done it.

 

--sam

[USAF1]

You guys need to do this in the middle of Yugoslovia...... or whatever they call it now.

 

Pat

[murrayg]

Don't cha love a story where the good guy finds gas in the middle of no where and learns a universal truth about his mc gear? Great story. When I'm on the road and my bike gets to three bars, I'm looking for fuel, because I ain't push'n no stink'n motorcycle. I hope this is not tempting the fuel Gods.

[Green RT]

Grant it there were some pretty good headwinds for much of the trip, but 33?

 

That probably explains it. Motorcycles are much more sensitive to wind resistance than cages. I rode across the country once, and got 55 mpg going east and 45 mpg going west. That was the average over 3000 miles each way. Started and ended at sea level each direction. I assumed the difference was the slight difference in headwinds.

[Threader]

Great story....

 

I think I'll go fill my tank up....

[DouglasR]

Great story! My son goes to school at UND in Grand Forks, NoDak, he says they have to use the Interstate on/off ramps for sledding hills since there isn't any topography anywhere else.

 

If there's a bright spot at the center of the universe, you were at the town that it's farthest from.

Obviously you've never been to Wamsutter, Wyoming..... This little burg is in the middle of the Red Desert about halfway between Rawlins and Rock Springs on Interstate 80. It gets my vote for "middle of nowhere". But since it's on I-80, there ARE four (4) gas stations, including a new HUGE Love's truck stop!

 

I work in the gas business (environmental cleanups at stations) and have witnessed a lovely trend in the past few years - almost all stations are going to "card reader" pumps, meaning you can get gas there 24 hours a day whether the convenience store/gas station is manned or not. I used to worry a lot about gas when travelling through Yellowstone because most of the stations close fairly early in the evening, and if you run out of gas there you are done for the day since it's many many miles of NOTHING in all directions. To my knowledge all the stations there now have 24 hour card reader pumps, very nice.