GelStra Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 1. NAMES If Laurie , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris , Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris , Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337; A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument. 6. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does. 10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 12. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering. Link to comment
GelStra Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 definitely We have a WINNAH! Huh, meeeeeee? Potstirrer? Nevah! Link to comment
Eschelon1 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 1. NAMES If Laurie , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie , Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris , Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy. 2. EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris , Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. 3. MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale. 4. BATHROOMS A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush,shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337; A man would not be able to identify most of these items. 5. ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument. 6. CATS Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. 7. FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 8. SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 9. MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does. 10. DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. 11. NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. 12. OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. 13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering. 14. IN SUMMARY Divorces are expensive because they are worth it. Link to comment
Quinn Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Those are truly classic. And classically true. Link to comment
Twisties Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 I think humor is generally good, very good. It's like basketball, I admire it because for me doing it well has always been somewhat unattainable. I'm the serious type, and not very athletic. Humor is one of the best things about this board. But attempts at humor that reinforce sexual, racial, or religious stereotypes are IMHO not helpful, even offensive. As for truth in the post, Sharon makes almost twice what I do, and she wakes up looking better than me. I'm the cheap one, and we both like dogs and cats. We don't have kids but there are plenty of great fathers out there. These kinds of things have an effect in society. Say them often enough and some at least come to believe them. I think it's a shame when little girls grow up thinking they have to use a million kinds of make-up (get that word, make-up) and sap off of men. It's equally a shame to portray men as insensitive foolish brutes. So, I don't like this post. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it. Jan Link to comment
PRC Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 So, I don't like this post. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it. With all due respect and without any intent to harass, humiliate, alienate or instigate, please kindly lighten up. Thanks for your cooperation in this matter. Link to comment
ghaverkamp Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 As for truth in the post, Sharon makes almost twice what I do, and she wakes up looking better than me. I'm the cheap one, and we both like dogs and cats. Sure, you say you like cats... Link to comment
GelStra Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 Hmm, that reminds of this one I heard. It was HYSTERICAL! So this middle eastern, transsexual rabbi goes into a bar..... Link to comment
Matts_12GS Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Jan, I can appreciate your position on this and you're fully entitled to it. We can use these types of things as stereotypes to belittle or tools to show the fallacy of the stereotype. However, we must also accept that stereotypes contain at the very least a modicum of truth. Personally, I think this type of joke funny, and have told some others far more offensive than this. If I may be so bold as to offer a bit of advice that has worked for me in my life... "You can't get your panties in a wad if you're not wearing any!" Relax man, it's really not that bad out there. Link to comment
PRC Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 "You can't get your panties in a wad if you're not wearing any!" No wonder I'm so laid back! Link to comment
Matts_12GS Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 No wonder I'm so laid back! If you'd just shave your back... yeowrrrrr! Hi Pete, how are you? Link to comment
GeoffCee Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 These kinds of things have an effect in society. Say them often enough and some at least come to believe them. I suggest that at least part of what is amusing in these tongue-in-cheek observations is that we can personally identify with many of them, without that where would be the joke? Your warning that "at least some" will come to believe them is probably too late, my guess is that many of us already do. Happily, the love/hate relationship which exists between the sexes appears indestructible. Link to comment
Bud Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Like most stereotypes, they are wrong. Link to comment
PRC Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 No wonder I'm so laid back! If you'd just shave your back... yeowrrrrr! Hi Pete, how are you? Oh boy, here we go....I actually have more on my head then on my back! Just ask a certain somebody who has a fetish for tequila! I'm great Matt, wish I was going North with ya'll Link to comment
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