What moron wrote this question?

[ghaverkamp]

I'm sitting here doing one of my least favorite things in the world, setting up Windows XP. During the setup, the software asks, "Will this computer connect to the Internet directly, or through a network?"

 

What does that mean? Doesn't everyone connect to the internetwork we call the Internet through a network?

 

I figured I'd read further to see if I could figure out how to respond. "You can set up this computer to connect to the Internet directly, or through a network of connected computers, if you have one." What's with the commas in that sentence?

 

It asks again, "Will this computer connect to the Internet through a network?" There are two options:

• Yes, this computer will connect through a local area network or home network; and
  
• No, this computer will connect directly to the Internet
  

 

Shouldn't Microsoft employ people who can come up with better ways of expressing whatever it is that they're asking?

[HairyCannonball]

Yes they should. Microsoft help files are very good at explaining the obvious too, but provide anything but help. They should be called frustration files.

[MattS]

I think we should nationalize Microsoft.

 

And morons.

 

And commas.

[SageRider]

I believe all Microsoft's technical writers are required to be lawyers...

Something to do with intentional obfuscation...

[subvet]

do you walk to work, or carry your lunch?

[tobyzusa]

do you walk to work, or carry your lunch?

 

Yes.

[Francois_Dumas]

do you walk to work, or carry your lunch?

 

Both.

[bakerzdosen]

I thought XP was bad at that, but I just setup Vista (just to try) in Parallels on my new MBP. Now THAT's an engineering triumph if I've ever seen one.

 

I've been mocking Vista for so long, I figured it was time to give it a try so I'd know what I was talking about. I now know and rescind nothing I've said, though I have more to add.

 

On a side note, if you haven't had the chance to install XP under VirtualBox, it's surprising how fast it can go (at least on my Q6600 running Solaris b85.) It was much faster than my "non-virtualized" e8400.

[Pilgrim]

I'm sitting here doing one of my least favorite things in the world, setting up Windows XP. During the setup, the software asks, "Will this computer connect to the Internet directly, or through a network?"

 

What does that mean? Doesn't everyone connect to the internetwork we call the Internet through a network?

 

I figured I'd read further to see if I could figure out how to respond. "You can set up this computer to connect to the Internet directly, or through a network of connected computers, if you have one." What's with the commas in that sentence?

 

It asks again, "Will this computer connect to the Internet through a network?" There are two options:

• Yes, this computer will connect through a local area network or home network; and
  
• No, this computer will connect directly to the Internet
  

 

Shouldn't Microsoft employ people who can come up with better ways of expressing whatever it is that they're asking?

 

Now, I can't speak authoritatively to answer that question, but I would be willing to bet that the manual is written in India. That's not a bad thing - if you're Indian, and they need jobs, too. But just imagine that the manual is written by the last Visa customer support person you talked to.

 

I nearly left American Express after 25 years two years ago because their website was obviously put together by someone from another culture. That's not to say that other cultures are bad, (although some certainly are), but many of them have different ways of looking at the world. In the case of AmEx the website was not intuitive to a gringo. There were times I literally could not pay my bill on line because the website was so foreign and tech support was less help than that. Obviously, others were unhappy, too, because they finally straightened out about a year ago. To me, it's a model of clarity now.

 

Pilgrim

[Bullett]

The moron who was directing his directions at a moron like me

[skinny_tom (aka boney)]

I'm sitting here doing one of my least favorite things in the world, setting up Windows XP. During the setup, the software asks, "Will this computer connect to the Internet directly, or through a network?"

 

What does that mean? Doesn't everyone connect to the internetwork we call the Internet through a network?

 

I figured I'd read further to see if I could figure out how to respond. "You can set up this computer to connect to the Internet directly, or through a network of connected computers, if you have one." What's with the commas in that sentence?

 

It asks again, "Will this computer connect to the Internet through a network?" There are two options:

• Yes, this computer will connect through a local area network or home network; and
  
• No, this computer will connect directly to the Internet
  

 

Shouldn't Microsoft employ people who can come up with better ways of expressing whatever it is that they're asking?

 

You're reading into the question Greg, it's really quite simple;

 

Is your DSL/Cable Modem plugged into the computer or the network?

[velomoto]

It asks again, "Will this computer connect to the Internet through a network?" There are two options:

• Yes, this computer will connect through a local area network or home network; and
  
• No, this computer will connect directly to the Internet
  

 

Shouldn't Microsoft employ people who can come up with better ways of expressing whatever it is that they're asking?

 

You're reading into the question Greg, it's really quite simple;

 

Is your DSL/Cable Modem plugged into the computer or the network?

Sorry Greg - but this is exactly what I understood as well.

 

In any case, there is no simple clear set of questions and worse yet most of the technical manuals are written by engineers (American, Indian or otherwise). IMO the above questions and grammar are far better than I've seen in the manuals for several purchases of devices which clearly were engineered in other countries where engineers not only are poor communicators but they don't know English.

[ghaverkamp]

You're reading into the question Greg, it's really quite simple;

 

Is your DSL/Cable Modem plugged into the computer or the network?

 

I'm not reading anything in. That may be what they mean, but that's not what the question asks. After all, if I'm plugged into my local network and it has a gateway to the Internet, then my computer is directly connected to the Internet. The Internet is, after all, nothing more than a series of internetworked computers.

 

Frankly, the way you'd phrase it does make any sense to me. If I connect a computer "directly to the Internet" in your sense, what do I need to take part in this Internet thing? Well, an IP address, a default gateway, etc.

 

And if I connect to a LAN or my home network? Why, I need an IP address and a default gateway.

 

To put it more concretely, I was at work when I was stymied by this question. The system I was bringing up was (logically) one hop from my backbone provider. If I plugged that computer directly into my cable modem (to be "directly connected"), I'd have to hop through Comcast's network before jumping to a backbone provider to get to those internetworked networks.

 

The only way I see to make sense of the question is to decide that plugging a network cable into a machine isn't directly connecting a device, but plugging a USB cable or similar is.

[smiller]

What they mean by 'direct to the internet' is via a modem, i.e. will you have a LAN connection or only a modem attached to the computer. This tells them whether to present you with the option of setting up dial-up networking or not.

 

I suppose they could ask directly if you are going to connect to a LAN or use only a modem... if the typical computer user had any idea what a 'modem' or 'LAN' was.

[eddd]

I guess I must be a moron. I understood what they were asking.

[Ken H.]

Some people don't have a home network, only have one computer, connected the Internet via a cable modem, a DSL connection, or even a modem & dial up.

[Rob_Mayes]

The problem with the help files is that they NEVER state the implications of your choices or give examples.

[tallman]

What's the difference between a moron, and a lawyer?

 

You have to pass a test to be a moron.

"Apple Lawyers Try The Ever Popular Morons In A Hurry Test

from the a-great-legal-test dept

Back in 2003, when the Beatles' Apple Corp. sued Apple computer over trademark violations, we noted that the whole purpose of trademark was to avoid confusion -- and we doubted that anyone out there was confusing the Beatles' corporate name with that of Apple Computers. It would appear that Apple Computers' lawyers are using the same defense now that the case has actually gone to trial. However, they phrased it in a much more elegant way, stating that "even a moron in a hurry could not be mistaken" about the difference between the two companies. While other court cases have tests concerning things like "reasonable doubt" and "the average person, using community standards," personally, we think court cases would be a lot more interesting if the "moron in a hurry" test were applied more often."

 

The views expressed are those of the Apple lawyers.

They do not reperesent the views of the poster, nor are they directed at any lawyers, or morons, who read them.

[SeanC]

Some people don't have a home network, only have one computer, connected the Internet via a cable modem, a DSL connection, or even a modem & dial up.

It's still a really stupid question, however, made even stupider by the fact so many of us connect the same computer to a network, directly to a cable modem/DSL, wirelessly, or even via modem & dial-up. I.e., where's the "All of the above" answer to that question? Did the XP installer engineers not expect anyone with a laptop to install XP?

 

If you're planning on installing XP, I've found it easiest to first pop some muscle relaxants, a couple Vicodin and drink a glass of scotch first. It doesn't make the questions any more sensible; you just don't think about them as much.

[leikam]

Greg, you know too much about networking. Install wizards need to ask simple questions that people without technical knowledge can answer. Sometimes that puts the writer in an awkward position and he/she doesn't have all day to figure out the best way to ask it in a way that would make sense to you and my mother.

[ghaverkamp]

Some people don't have a home network, only have one computer, connected the Internet via a cable modem, a DSL connection, or even a modem & dial up.

 

I understand, but that's not what the question asked. In the situation I was in, both yes and no fit. And in any case, to call that directly connected to the Internet over a machine that is on a LAN that is connected to the Internet doesn't make much sense.

 

Obviously, the answer was simple. Choose the "best" answer and fix it later if the thing doesn't work. leikam's right, in that the question isn't written for a person who doesn't view the underlying network as a black box. However, it wouldn't take much to make it better. What's more, I seem to recall that they used to do it better.

[Scarecrow]

...

Back in 2003, when the Beatles' Apple Corp. sued Apple computer over trademark violations, we noted that the whole purpose of trademark was to avoid confusion -- and we doubted that anyone out there was confusing the Beatles' corporate name with that of Apple Computers. It would appear that Apple Computers' lawyers are using the same defense now that the case has actually gone to trial. However, they phrased it in a much more elegant way, stating that "even a moron in a hurry could not be mistaken" about the difference between the two companies. While other court cases have tests concerning things like "reasonable doubt" and "the average person, using community standards," personally, we think court cases would be a lot more interesting if the "moron in a hurry" test were applied more often."

But interestingly enough, they were just ahead of their times. Maybe Apple Computers could not be mistaken for a company that was in the music business, but nowadays, think iTunes, iPods, etc. Apple (Computers) is in the music business, just what Apple (Records) was afraid of.

[tallman]

Time is relative.

Timing, is everything

People have had to answer poorly phrased questions, questions without answers, and questions that should never be asked, for a very long time.

[Mike O]

[ghaverkamp]

 

Yeah...

 

I don't know what to say. It was bad enough (in my mind) that I was setting up a machine. It was even worse that it had Windows on it. Then, I bumped into this question for which the answers made no sense.

[Mike O]

...I don't know what to say...

I just couldn't resist any more. It was either that or the stapler.

 

Mike O

 

(FWIW, I stumbled on that as well)

[Ken H.]

Hee, hee! We need to put that on our next UNRally t-shirts somewhere!

[tallman]

 

 

All it needs is a slide rule.

Anyone here still use one?

Or remember how to?

[SweetP]

How long?

[tallman]

This is what we used.

[SweetP]

What is it?

[tallman]

Pickett, circa 1962.

State of the Art.

[velomoto]

Pickett, circa 1962.

State of the Art.

... and still faster and more accurate than a calculator! Ok, faster and more accurate when the batteries are dead.