Online Dis-Inhibition

[John_Hendriksen]

After reading a bunch of the threads recently regarding health care and democracy, guns and (gasp) religion, I wondered a bit more about the idea of the online personality and who we truly are when online.

 

I came across an article discussing what the author called Online Dis-Inhibition, that is, the fact that people say and do things online that they wouldn’t normally do in the real world. If I understood the writer, he breaks down this Dis-Inhibition into two camps.

 

1st, Benign Dis-Inhibition, where unusual acts of kindness and generosity are shown, where personal things are shared…..feelings, emotions, fears and so on. I see that here.

 

Then there is Toxic Dis-Inhibition. A place of rude language, harsh criticisms, smarmy replies, anger and sometimes, hatred. Perhaps the toxic version is an online catharsis, a blind acting out of ones unsavory needs and wishes. A place where one searches the darker corners of the ‘net for their own nefarious needs.

 

Some factors as to why people are less inhibited online seem obvious at first glance, but are kinda interesting nonetheless.

 

You Don’t Know Me – Most other members can’t easily tell who you are and there lies the opportunity to separate ones actions online from ones real world persona, that is, no need to acknowledge ones behavior within the context who one “really” is.

 

You Can’t See Me – Pretty much the same as above except that this invisibility bumps up the courage a notch, I suppose.

 

It’s Just A Game – The idea that the imaginary character created for a DB isn’t real because “online” isn’t real. It’s a game with different rules than real life, no responsibility needed for ones actions in make-believe.

 

I dunno, there’s a bunch more, such as the Equalization of Authority (i.e., we're all experts here) which rather than extolling a philosophy of everyone as an equal, peers sharing ideas and so on, becomes a chance to challenge authority under anonymity.

 

It’s fascinating to try and understand another from the tiny shreds of fact that one bares about themselves. Can we learn anything about the cultural and personal values of a poster from these dis-inhibited postings. It's not easy, is it? Has anyone’s mind ever been changed in a significant way by the brief tit for tat sparring, particularly in regards to religion? There is often no true dialogue online. Or is there? My experience, while limited, says not really.

 

Every DB is a bit different, some more reserved than others, even within a hobby or passion and I've met quite a few members, both on this board and others. Some are just like their online persona's, and others so different it's stunning.

 

Thoughts?

 

Me?...why, I'm the same online here as I am in person, sweet and kind. (except for the flyfishing board, where most those guys are idiots and the Honda truck board where I'm the only smart guy there....and then the stamp collecting board, those folks are nuts.....)

 

 

Someone once said, “Everywhere I go on the internet, I keep bumping into………me!

[Bud]

I don't know. Some of the folks here have met me in person and I guess they would be in a better position to say if there was a disconnect between my online persona and face to face.

[Knifemaker]

It's not easy, is it? Has anyone’s mind ever been changed in a significant way by the brief tit for tat sparring, particularly in regards to religion?

 

My religious beliefs STAND as they are...No one can change this....AMEN!

 

Am I different in "real life" than I am on line....I hope not...

[Matts_12GS]

Am I different in "real life" than I am on line....I hope not...

 

You're better looking online Bill!

 

I'm pretty much the same here as I am IRL I think. Except a bit taller...

[Kathy R]

I am the same except I don't look like the X

[Mister Tee]

I have two motivations for using a DB like this: a) I want to take advantage of the information and knowledge of others, and b) I want to be able to impart my knowledge to others - I don't have a lot of opportunity to do b) as much as a) on this board since I'm a relatively new BMW owner, however, I even moderate over on a couple of sportbike boards.

 

The forums will be as useful as the accuracy of the information that the users will put forth. To that end, even though I remain "anonymous" I'm basically the same person that you might meet in person.

[notacop]

I dunno, I'm as crazy in person as I am here. I have trouble pantomining the emoticons after a statement though. Throwing myself to the ground in a "ROLF" is getting hard on an older body!

I have and will continue to stop on the road and give assistance when I see a fellow Moto rider in need.

And at rallies, I'll share the Flamingoritas!

[steve.foote]

In my case, I'd have to leave that judgement to others. But, since you asked, I would like to think that my online persona is pretty close to what it is in real life. Way too many folks from this board know me personally to be able to run an alter ego and get away with it.

[Tony_K]

..even though I remain "anonymous" I'm basically the same person that you might meet in person.

 

I will be using your statement to make my points.

 

I find anonymity on this board a insult to the family feeling that is unique to this data base.

I as well as many others who know each others names form a friendship that transcends bullsh!t internet existence. That in turn becomes kinship.

 

I can't call a nameless "typer" friend. They just become "there" like noise.

 

Yes, there are reasons to remain nameless I guess. Self importance, running from the law or are the law or maybe can't remember thier own name (only the name of their gun).

 

Anonymous people belong on buses or trains. I can hear their conversations but I'm not listening. Pretty much the same here.

[smiller]

You caught me. In real life I'm an evangelical.

[Ken H.]

I asked David Baker (prior owner of this site) that question once as he had probably at that time met more of the people who hang out here in person than anyone else. "Do you find the members when you meet them to be pretty much like what your perception of them was from their on-line persona?" He said that by-and-large, yes. Most in person were like what they are here.

 

It would be an interesting question to some of the other 'long timers', are we like you expect us to be when you finally meet us in person?

[OverMyHead]

Hmmm...did anyone else read the title as Ohlins Dis-Inhibition?

 

I supposed that says something about my online personality...or at least my eye sight.

[Joe Frickin' Friday]

How timely that I should find this article today:

 

How to Disagree

 

• The web is turning writing into a conversation. Twenty years ago, writers wrote and readers read. The web lets readers respond, and increasingly they do—in comment threads, on forums, and in their own blog posts.
   
  Many who respond to something disagree with it. That's to be expected. Agreeing tends to motivate people less than disagreeing. And when you agree there's less to say. You could expand on something the author said, but he has probably already explored the most interesting implications. When you disagree you're entering territory he may not have explored.
   
  The result is there's a lot more disagreeing going on, especially measured by the word. That doesn't mean people are getting angrier. The structural change in the way we communicate is enough to account for it. But though it's not anger that's driving the increase in disagreement, there's a danger that the increase in disagreement will make people angrier. Particularly online, where it's easy to say things you'd never say face to face.

[exwingnut]

Thaks, Mitch. Great article!

 

I still think using 3-in-1 oil is better, though.

[exwingnut]

 

Yes

[tallman]

In my case, I'd have to leave that judgement to others. But, since you asked, I would like to think that my online persona is pretty close to what it is in real life. Way too many folks from this board know me personally to be able to run an alter ego and get away with it.

 

It is.

Hard to believe it is so bad in real life too.

[notacop]

I agree with what he said in red but think it should have been blue!

[Albert]

I'm actually a 68 year old Thai grandmother of 8 posting this from the Bankok public library.

[Mister Tee]

I will be using your statement to make my points.

 

I find anonymity on this board a insult to the family feeling that is unique to this data base.

 

You and I view Internet message boards very differently. I personally don't assign a "family" attribute to an Internet message board and I don't view other posters as my "friends." That isn't to say that I don't want to be a positive contributor to the site - not at all. I do feel a social responsibility to promote riding - safe riding in particular, and message boards like this are powerful tools which support that end.

 

I'm not exactly new to this whole Internet messaging thing. I'm one of those geeks that was a "modemer" well before the Internet was public domain and it was popular for the average person to chat on the Internet or post to message groups. It was considered poor judgment to use a real name on BBS boards, and bad etiquette to request others to do so back in the day. Sure I realize the rules have evolved over time and vary from site to site, and I'm fine with that. I just mention this as a backdrop so you know where I'm coming from.

 

I use the term "anonymous" in quotes, because I realize that if someone wanted to spend enough time and effort, they could figure out who I am. I'm not worried about that. The problem I have with using a real name is that message boards, including this one, are searchable, and I don't want my interests, happenings and whereabouts to be that casually available. Identity theft happens to be a big deal.

 

So, I apologize if my "anonymity" offends you, but I suspect you have other issues internally, and it's my opinion that you place too much significance on diversions from real life such as the Internet.

 

-Tee

[steve.foote]

You caught me. In real life I'm an evangelical.

 

I knew it! You've been stringing us along all this time.

[ghaverkamp]

The nature of being online and in a "group" lends itself to some changes. I'm chattier in this asynchronous media because it's far easier to have many conversations at once. If you took everyone responding to some of the busy threads into a room, you'd never achieve the same sort of distribution of all of the different interactions.

 

On the other hand, I have to tone down my normal tendencies here, though I often fail. I tend to use a somewhat caustic tone in person. When trying to make my written brilliance cognizable to a bunch of mouth breathers, I am forced to diminish my style.

[Les is more]

 

We love you too Cupcake!

[StuGotz]

An excellent post John.

 

Was just thinking along the same lines lately. I was wondering why all the"riders discuss other things" posts were happening more. Guns, War, Heroes,Religion, Economy, Etc...

 

Is it because of the time of year (winter), or the troubling times in which we live? Where's all the BMWSporttouring stuff?

 

And the personalities that emerge when "hot" topics are discussed. I don't know about you, but it's hard not to judge when the same lot express

opinions in which we all may not agree.

 

I've been on a few group rides, and topics seldom get to the point they do here. Just good friends having a good ride.

 

I've exposed myself to judgement. Have at it kids.

 

MB>

[tobyzusa]

Brad Pasley says it best in his song Online:

 

 

I work down at the Pizza Pit

And I drive an old Hyundai

I still live with my mom and dad

I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight

I'm a scifi fanatic

A mild asthmatic

And I've never been to second base

But there's whole ‘nother me

That you need to see

Go checkout MySpace

 

'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood

I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good

I drive a Maserati

I'm a black-belt in karate

And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I’m mysterious

I tell them I don't want nothing serious

'Cause even on a slow day

I could have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online

So much cooler online

 

When I get home I kiss my mom

And she fixes me a snack

And I head down to my basement bedroom

And fire up my Mac

In real life the only time I’ve ever even been to L.A

Is when I got the chance with the marching band

To play tuba in the Rose Parade

 

Online I live in Malibu

I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ

I'm single and I'm rich

And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind

It turns girls on that I’m mysterious

I tell them I don't want nothing serious

'Cause even on a slow day

I could have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online

Yeah, I'm cooler online

 

When you got my kind of stats

It’s hard to get a date

Let alone a real girlfriend

But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight

Every time I login

 

Online

I’m out in Hollywood

I’m 6 foot 5 and I look damn good

Even on a slow day

I could have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I’m so much cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

I’m so much cooler online

Yeah, I’m cooler online

 

Yeah, I’m cooler online

 

Yeah, I’ll see ya online

[Twisties]

An excellent post John.

 

Was just thinking along the same lines lately. I was wondering why all the"riders discuss other things" posts were happening more. Guns, War, Heroes,Religion, Economy, Etc...

 

Is it because of the time of year (winter), or the troubling times in which we live? Where's all the BMWSporttouring stuff?

 

And the personalities that emerge when "hot" topics are discussed. I don't know about you, but it's hard not to judge when the same lot express

opinions in which we all may not agree.

 

I've been on a few group rides, and topics seldom get to the point they do here. Just good friends having a good ride.

 

I've exposed myself to judgement. Have at it kids.

 

MB>

 

I think one of the most intriguing things about this board is that people do get together, they do help each other out, and it is a real community. No, not everyone does, but everyone can and is welcomed, encouraged and accepted. So many events all over the country. I think it's what this place is about.

 

Yes, some have strong opinions, and more discussion about that has been allowed lately. Personally, I've chosen to be much less involved in those than I had been. I don't know that it's a bad thing, but it was making me dislike some people I thought I would otherwise enjoy riding, having a beer and talking with. I guess I feel that so long as the discussion remains civil, respectful, and people feel they can still get together and ride, it's good. Heck, I almost looked up Steve (rightspin) last week when I was in the area, but I couldn't get away.

 

Several people have commented to me in person, or in PM's that the board has changed. Some have used the term "lower signal to noise". A couple have said there aren't as many interesting threads. You say, "Where's the BMWSportTouring stuff?"

 

I'm just coming up on my first anniversary here. I don't see it. Not really even sure what you all are talking about though I think you are all talking about the same thing, and that it's real. I wish I knoew what it was. Some have said it's because Gleno's gone. Some have blamed one member or another.

 

Me, being new, sort of, I see this vibrant community. People really talk. They post these amazing ride tales from amazing places. They talk about their experiences riding. They bat around ideas for farkeling, they talk techniques for this or that. They post the strangest questions. I can't even begin to say how much I've learned about things I didn't even know existed, problems I never imagined, or things I didn't think I was interested in that I find I am interested in.

 

My point of view on many issues has changed because of this group. My riding skills, poor as they are, are greatly improved, my gear is at another level, and I've dreamed of going places I didn't even know existed.

 

I've learned to, I can ignore what I'm not interested in. Guns, racing and distance riding are three. So what if some want to talk about them. No skin off my back.

 

Jan

[Ken H.]

Is it because of the time of year (winter), or the troubling times in which we live?

Both really. A lot of the 'hotter' subjects - the economy, health care, immigration, guns, are bubbling up to the surface because they are becoming more critical. And it's a major election year in the USA, so I think that bring some of the more debated issues to the foreground.

[Bud]

I'm actually a 68 year old Thai grandmother of 8 posting this from the Bankok public library.

 

No wonder you pic looks like it does.

[Ken H.]

I'm actually a 68 year old Thai grandmother of 8 posting this from the Bankok public library.

I'm really Mrs. WanYonghong the general chief auditor in STANDARD CHARTERED BANK Hong Kong branch.

 

I have a proposal for you as a matter of urgency, I am in pocession of sum of 21.35million United States Dollars,unclaimed by our late client who died four years ago,without stating any beneficiary to his wealth after he has deposited his funds in our Bank,and when the investigation have been completed,I happy to reports you are his documented to be the next of kin in his file 93AC300/W493TC,in our dept.

 

I will send you the details when you are interested so we might urgently get these funds to you.

[Kathy R]

You and I view Internet message boards very differently. I personally don't assign a "family" attribute to an Internet message board and I don't view other posters as my "friends."

 

Have you gone to one of the UN Rally's or other gatherings yet? For some of us, many of us really, that had an impact on how this site came to inhabit our being.

 

Meeting folks in person has made this site different. I don't know how it is today since I have only just returned for an long hiatus, but many folks feel compelled to meet up. Once that happens this truely is a family of people on a website.

[Tony_K]

You and I view Internet message boards very differently. I personally don't assign a "family" attribute to an Internet message board and I don't view other posters as my "friends."

 

Have you gone to one of the UN Rally's or other gatherings yet? For some of us, many of us really, that had an impact on how this site came to inhabit our being.

 

Meeting folks in person has made this site different. I don't know how it is today since I have only just returned for an long hiatus, but many folks feel compelled to meet up. Once that happens this truely is a family of people on a website.

 

Thank you Kathy. You summed it up perfectly.

[edge51]

I am me and me is I.

[Matts_12GS]

Meeting folks in person has made this site different. I don't know how it is today since I have only just returned for an long hiatus, but many folks feel compelled to meet up. Once that happens this truely is a family of people on a website.

 

+1

[Knifemaker]

Yes, some have strong opinions, and more discussion about that has been allowed lately. Personally, I've chosen to be much less involved in those than I had been. I don't know that it's a bad thing, but it was making me dislike some people I thought I would otherwise enjoy riding, having a beer and talking with.

 

I find that when we (board members) get togeather what's discussed here is rarely if ever discussed in "real" life.

 

 

 

You're better looking online Bill!

 

 

I know Matt.....Some of us are not as blessed....AND WE ALL KNOW YOU ARE NOT!!!!

[steve.foote]

Heck, I almost looked up Steve (rightspin) last week when I was in the area, but I couldn't get away.

 

Dang! I'm sure we would have had a lot of fun together, Jan. But, the beauty of this community is that we will have that opportunity again.

 

There are a couple of really interesting points which have been made by various posters in this thread. The following question asked by Mark (mbelecric) is one I would like to answer.

 

I was wondering why all the"riders discuss other things" posts were happening more. Guns, War, Heroes,Religion, Economy, Etc...

 

As Greg said, it's a high tension election year. On top of that there is a heck of a lot of really important stuff being debated in the public arena. Frankly, people care about these things, even motorcycle riders.

 

Also, many of us here, who have been around for several years, have participated in just about as much "oil checking" discussion as we can stand. Seriously, we have been there and done that. I, for one, am interested in stimulating discussion with my friends about things new and interesting, and much of that is not motorcycle related.

 

At least, that is my .02

[Mister Tee]

You and I view Internet message boards very differently. I personally don't assign a "family" attribute to an Internet message board and I don't view other posters as my "friends."

 

Have you gone to one of the UN Rally's or other gatherings yet? For some of us, many of us really, that had an impact on how this site came to inhabit our being.

 

Meeting folks in person has made this site different. I don't know how it is today since I have only just returned for an long hiatus, but many folks feel compelled to meet up. Once that happens this truely is a family of people on a website.

 

The answer is no, and it's not because I wouldn't, it's just that most group ride events aren't my thing. But don't get me wrong, I certainly have no aversion to meeting up with people on this site personally, I just rarely have the time and occasion for it.

 

BTW I also have met members of other sportbike sites at track events, but I separate any online presence I may have from a real world presence. I'm quite sure that personally, if I were to meet up with a group from here, I would feel the same way you do toward them.

[ShovelStrokeEd]

Tee,

Our gatherings are the antithesis of "group" ride events. No parades, no road captains none of that b.s.. Most of the time, a few like minded individuals will head off hell bent on either ear holing or flower sniffing or somewhere in between. There is gathering before and after the riding and there usually are some routes posted thanks to the hard work of the folks that organize these things.

 

Then, of course, there are the "tastings". If you look around, there may be a couple of folks gathered around a bottle of fine single malt and another bunch discovering the delights of Don Julio, coolers abound with just about any kinda beer you like or soda if you don't partake. This is also the eatin'ist bunch of people I have ever run into. Again, the scouting finds the good restaurants, there might even be a catered event at the HQ.

 

Do try to make one, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

[Marty Hill]

Tee,

 

What Ed just said. I've never been on a group ride but I've been to an event or two. I've met several hundred of these folks and will vouch for most of them. Don't know where you are but I'll stop for coffee if you will let me in on your secret.

[Dave McReynolds]

I tend to have friends who share my culture, political leanings, and tastes to a large degree. So I don't find myself getting into a lot of meaningful discussions with them.

 

People who come into my CPA office range from one end of the political spectrum to the other (which is quite a range in California), and usually make the assumption that I'm thinking along the same lines as they are. They make comments about how bad Hillary is, or how much we need to get rid of George, assuming I agree with them. Since it has nothing to do with my business with them, I usually just nod and murmer something non-comittal; why chase away business on the one hand, or waste my billable hours talking about how much I agree with someone on the other?

 

But then when nobody is looking, I can tune into this board and be my real self; it's a nice break several times a day.

 

I think the beauty of it is not that I flatter myself that I have ever changed anyone's mind about anything, but that we can disagree with each other and read each other's comments without thinking about shooting each other.

[snod]

Good topic John! I think I am pretty much the same on line as off. If anything I am more inhibitted on line. When posting to any board I tend to be more careful than I would be face to face. I am writing my thoughts down when posting to a board. It will be there "forever", and I can't take it back or re-explain if the recipient doesn't understand what I am saying. I find the lack of instant feed back very difficult to deal with. I am not a writer, many of you that post here alot are very good writers. This often makes me feel inferior when posting. I sometimes feel that I make myself seem even more ignorant than I really am. For the most part the board members that I have met over the years seem pretty much the same face to face as they are on line. I hope that I am also.

[Kathy R]

Tee,

 

What Ed just said. I've never been on a group ride but I've been to an event or two. I've met several hundred of these folks and will vouch for most of them. Don't know where you are but I'll stop for coffee if you will let me in on your secret.

 

Mention you have a spare bed and Marty will come visit you on his way to picking up or delivering a motorcycle cross country

[ghaverkamp]

Mention you have a spare bed and Marty will come visit you on his way to picking up or delivering a motorcycle cross country

 

Or providing his GS break-in service.

[Quinn]

There is a certain amount of paranoia dealing with people on the internet. We get constant warnings about Nigerian bankers, MySpace stalkers, and identity theft. Not out of the question to suspect people on this forum taken in that context? Also, there are a number of lurkers and one never knows what information they are gleaning from our posts. I do wonder at times if I'm giving too much personal information, but don't know how to participate at this level without it. I'm probably older in person, although I think I'm about 35 trapped in a 60 year old body. I remember when I was 28 trapped in a 40 year old body.

[ShovelStrokeEd]

I'm probably older in person, although I think I'm about 35 trapped in a 60 year old body. I remember when I was 28 trapped in a 40 year old body.

 

Consider yourself lucky to have achieved that level of maturity. I still think I'm 19 some days, at least until I look into the mirror and see the old fart I'm shaving.

[Marty Hill]

Kathy,

 

I've missed you.

[Twisties]

I find that when we (board members) get togeather what's discussed here is rarely if ever discussed in "real" life.

 

I think there is no predicting how a real life discussion will go. On line discussions actually tend to wander less I think. In any event, I hardly have the same discussion twice with the same person. Every time we meet up, it's something else.

 

Also I believe on line discussions tend to seem more heated because it's harder express yourself accurately in writing, because you lack the visual cues that go with face-to-face conversation, and even the tonal clues that accompany speech.

 

Matter of fact statements are often taken in a different context than intended, which in a face-to-face scenario would be quickly recognized and remedied. In the on line conversation your first clue of such is likely to be a heated response, which then only spirals out of control.

[Kathy R]

I think the conversations in person tend to orient around wit and humor, while the on-line conversations can be more detailed and serious. I'm one that is almost always looking for the fun or the wit in a post. I have learned so very much from the intelligent and experienced folks here. I also have found the site to be heavily representaive of the wit out there. In person, all I do is marvel and laugh at you all. This site is and always has been quite the cut above.

 

 

<hyjack>

 

Marty,

 

Yes, I still have a spare bedroom if you are in Chicago. I miss everyone and you too dear.

 

</hyjack>

[MotorinLA]

As far as online discussion boards go, I appreciate this one for the fact that even though some threads lead to heated debates; it very seldom devolves into a war of expletives and outright name calling. Although the users are often polarized on issues (we have certainly beaten our fair share of horse carcasses into pulp) the back and forth generally goes well, with your ‘nemesis’ in one thread being your strongest supporter in another.

 

I get the impression that most of the users here don’t come to this board because they want to portray themselves as someone or something they are not.

 

Speaking for myself, I can say with confidence that I’m the same self-righteous, opinionated, argumentative bastard online that I am in real life.

[Bud]

I'm probably older in person, although I think I'm about 35 trapped in a 60 year old body. I remember when I was 28 trapped in a 40 year old body.

 

Consider yourself lucky to have achieved that level of maturity. I still think I'm 19 some days, at least until I look into the mirror and see the old fart I'm shaving.

 

I have the solution.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stop shaving.