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Sad Loss (kind of long)

KTsRidin

By KTsRidin
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KTsRidin

KTsRidin

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For those of you who were at the Stanton, VA UnRally, you may remember our two dogs who visited, Cali (gentle yellow mix) and Hina (beer drinking black mix). In May 2007, Cali was diagnosed with cancer. In her own way she let us know she wasn't ready to go, so we took steps to care for her, including removing the cancerous left front leg and chemo treatments. It was amazing. The day after the surgery Cali was 'walking' and within weeks was chasing Hina around the yard.

 

Then, two weeks ago, Cali seemed to lose a little steam so we took her back to the specialists. After the x-rays showed that there was no cancer in her lungs, the diagnosis was given as arthritis induced pain. With medicine in hand and an appointment to recheck her in three months, we headed home. But a week later she was still not using her right rear leg and seemed to be in pain. We took her to the local vet on Monday (2/18). They too said she was suffering from 'old age' pain and changed her meds to see if that would help. You should know that Cali, through all of this, was herself; woo-ing when she wanted attention and wagging her tail in circles when we came home from work. It was like she was saying she appreciated that we were looking out for her and trying to do what was best for her. The change in medication seemed to help. Wednesday and Thursday were good days, but when we got home on Friday I could see Cali was not feeling 100% and said something to Jennifer. And so, I spent a bit more time talking with Cali and made sure she got her meds. Just a little before 9 p.m. Cali contorted in an odd way and I knew she was having a seizure. She'd never had one before and we were scared. I cradled her and worked to keep her airway clear while Jennifer called the emergency hospital. Still holding Cali on the way to the vet, she seemed to get a bit better and actually sat up, looked out the windows intently, and we were hopeful.

 

Upon arriving at the vet, Cali still didn't have enough muscle control to stand, so I carried her while Jennifer checked us in. The vet took notes as we described what had happened, what medications she'd had, what we'd done. The vet suggested x-rays of Cali's right hip and leg as the first step. We didn't want to hear, but were prepared for the diagnosis. While the cancer had not entered her lungs, there was a mass on her right side.

 

As Jennifer put it so well, Cali wanted to stay and play and be a dog enjoying the fruits of our labors, but her body had other plans. And so, with extremely hurt hearts and many tears, we decided that the best thing we could do for her was to help her pass on to her next stage of "being" without pain.

 

Cali left us Friday night in my arms and is buried at my childhood home. We decorated her box with spring flowers already in bloom, pictures of a young Cali, and drawings from our nephews. One crayon sketch is of a “cheery” figure trying to make everyone happy again and another was of a flower with Hina standing at the base and Cali climbing the flower with the help of various people among the leaves and petals. Jennifer and one of our nieces helped to dig the grave and my mom transplanted a tree to mark Cali's spot.

 

Cali was born in May of 1995 in southern California, moved to D.C. before moving to Maui, and then moved here to Virginia. She had played in the Atlantic and the Pacific oceans, romped through the mountains of Virginia and Maine, strolled the streets of Charleston, patrolled the Mojave Desert, ran through chest-deep snow in the Hualapai mountains, and camped in more places than you want to read about…. Her full life makes loosing her easier, but harder at the same time. She was “just a dog” but she was also family. We already miss her.

 

web_cali.JPG

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russell_bynum

russell_bynum

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Sorry to hear about Cali. frown.gif

 

I remember her well from UnRally...such a sweet soul and so full of life.

 

She led a full and joyous life, had someone to love, and someone to love her. We should all be so lucky.

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Stormrider

Stormrider

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Very sorry to hear about Cali. They are family...lost a dear friend 1 1/2 years ago Benny (18 yr. old Male Tabby) He too lived in a few different states with us. The heat of Texas to the bitter cold of Minnesota. Benny also developed a mass on his front leg which was removed only to grow back only to take him from us. It hurts deeply bncry.gif and we understand. Our thoughts & prayers are with you and your family.

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stubble!

stubble!

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<sigh> You've posted a fitting tribute to an obviously special dog. I went through this recently, with my dearest friend of 16 years. It's a difficult decision to have to make, for your friend who can't tell you her wishes. But in the end you make the call, heart-wrenching though it may be, honoring the trust that she's placed in you her whole life.

 

Thanks for posting Cali's picture. My heart goes out to you and your family. I like to imagine that our pups are out chasing each other, somewhere.

 

Sebastian

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Laura

Laura

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I'm crying with you. Having been through the heartbreak myself 11 years ago I can tell you it gets better but it never leaves you.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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AdventurePoser

AdventurePoser

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Willie, my schnauzer, is slowing down and one day the inevitable will happen. Thanks so much for your heartfelt post.

 

Steve in So Cal

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Dances_With_Wiener_Dogs

Dances_With_Wiener_Dogs

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She was never "just a dog". She was an integrated part of your family. Val and I, and our four-legged children are thinking good thoughts for you.

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Joel

Joel

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frown.gif

 

Bless you for seeing and taking the opportunity for a merciful end of your sweet companion's life.

 

I've been in your situation a few times before, and I'll be there again someday, since our current pack consists of three, ages 10, 8 and 5. My only real gripe about dogs in a lifetime of being owned by them is that we'll always outlive them.

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ericfoerster

ericfoerster

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This is just a tough post. Kind of hard to keep a dry eye when I just got in from walking my two. I would be crushed to say the least. I feel for you and your family.

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Paul_Burkett

Paul_Burkett

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Kirsten, I am so sorry to hear of your loss, dogs are often the purest love that we will know,never asking for anything but a kind word and a scratch on the back and a walk.

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KTsRidin

KTsRidin

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To everyone, private messages and all, I've been sharing your kind words, warm thoughts, and meaningful insights with Jennifer. We still can't read them without tearing, but I was able to say goodnight to the little black dog, Hina Le'a, the furry kitty, Mookie, and with a look up, to Cali without loosing it tonight. Both Jennifer and I have admitted to each other that we feel a void and often trick ourselves into thinking Cali is just in the other room. I know the loss will lessen with time, but the time we've taken to celebrate and remember this fine companion is wonderful.

 

At work today a person who is also very close to his animals suggested that it might be better to not have pets to get so attached to, only to lose them and be in such pain. I reminded him of Alfred Lord Tennyson's wisdom, 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all.

 

Blessings and peace to you all,

Kirsten

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KTsRidin

KTsRidin

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Thanks - I know Richard's slept with your dogs, I'm only sorry he never got the chance to bed down with Cali... Yes, thinking of Cali makes me smile and all the good thoughts you all are sending to this home are certainly helping.

 

Shalom,

Kirsten

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Bud

Bud

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So sorry to hear of your loss. They really become part of the family and losing one is very difficult. What joy they bring with so little expected in return.

 

You were so lucky to have had such a good one. thumbsup.gif

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Hardware

Hardware

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It's probably cliche and probably has been posted here somewhere before but I'll repost it anyway:

 

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

 

Author unknown...

 

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