"The Topography of Fear" Book Review

[MotoNews]

Published in: Media

This book provides a shining example of how the darkness of the mind can dominate all—but still be defeated. It’s also about how making one’s dreams come alive can open a world of possibilities.

The subject matter, as the title makes blindingly obvious, is fear, explored through the tale of two separate motorcycle trips across the U.S., rides that challenged the author and changed his life. From an early age we’re trained to hide our fears, and too often when one expresses they’re not fully in control of their emotions, others think less of them. Mathew’s story confirms that anyone who faces and deals with intense fear is, perhaps against expectation, a very courageous individual—and an inspiration.

When I originally read the title, I assumed it was going to be full of Hollywood bling and hype, psychological babble, or a testosterone-injected tale. Not so. It is, however, peppered with some great descriptions and insightful honesty that are rightly uncomfortable at times.

Mathew Sturtevant is a successful professional photographer and the author of a highly respected photographic book about the music scene in Austin, Texas. On the surface, life was good, but agoraphobia began an insidious creep into just about every aspect of his being, resulting in anxiety levels that rapidly got out of hand. It was so bad that even his smaller decisions became racked with “What if?” fears. To try to fight this, he planned a huge test—he set out to ride the Trans America Trail (TAT) and face his agoraphobia full on.

The first half of the book details a world seen through the eyes of a man who is constantly challenged and massively frustrated by his fears. He rides with two friends who come from very different backgrounds, ambitions, and personal timelines. One he knows very well, and this friend understands Mathew enough to tolerate his jumble of emotions—the other not so much. The trio ride bikes suitable for the TAT, they’re capable off-road riders and have good gear but only one route map, and a single GPS, and they’ve never ridden together before. A potentially disastrous mix? Yes, especially when the author’s ongoing fear grabs him each day, creating situations that must have been extremely difficult for his friends to deal with. Their perseverance and thinning tolerance levels are respectfully described by the author.

The first half of the book initially bothered me, partly because much of it focused on places they stayed and what they ate with less emphasis on the riding or who they met. I eventually realized that this approach was the most natural and honest way to describe how on-the-edge Mathew was, and how his survival was anchored to such milestones. And there are moments of descriptive clarity and humor that are a delight to read.

With that in mind, if you’re looking for a book about the joys of riding the TAT, this is not it. If you want a story about courage, human interactions, dealing with the unexpected, and going beyond personal boundaries, then this is a book for you. It’s an adventure on two wheels—and of the mind—reminding me of this quote from Stacy Westfall: “Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere; and sometimes, in the in the middle of nowhere you find yourself.”

The second half of The Topography of Fear begins with a good wedge of color photos. Some years after the TAT ride, Mathew’s life has changed significantly, but his mind is still too often smothered by the harshness of fear and subsequent uncertainty. He describes his continuing frustration with himself in a way that readers will appreciate. The story comes to life with the injection of a vital new personality and a new journey. A strong, insightful, well-traveled woman along with Mathew’s courage are the keys to his new challenge. The next chapters take you from the sensation of standing wobbly-legged, looking up at an insurmountable mountain of fear and confusion, to views from the top that are full of sunshine and optimism.

As I’ve run out of review space, you’ll have to read the book to find out who Gabriella is and how her personality, way of thinking about life, and ambitions, are life changers for Mathew. This book will surprise you.

TheTopographyOfFear.com

ISBN: 9780578849553

Paperback: $20 | Amazon:  Paperback only | Kindle: Not currently available

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