Is a Thank You Too Much to Ask?

[MichiganBob]

Good Evening

 

Okay okay  I'm a  old guy and old school but when someone needs advice on a forum and good folks rise to the occasion, a little gratitude would be polite. A simple thanks goes a long way. I know we try to help out when requested without expectations but I'm just saying. And thanks for your input.

[TEWKS]

 I still can’t figure out the people that don’t acknowledge being let out in traffic. A simple little wave  would do (simpler than that, even) as a small thank you. It’s completely free.  

[Hosstage]

Sometimes it is too much to ask, it seems.

[Joe Coastie]

Common courtesy and common sense is dying a very slow and quiet death.

 

[Scott9999]

Ok, OK, I know that I must be "that" guy.  It MUST be my fault.

 

What did I forget to thank someone for, THIS TIME?  🤷‍♂️😖

 

Anyone?  🙄

[TEWKS]

If it wasn’t too much to ask from this guy…  

 

[Patallaire]

3 hours ago, Scott9999 said:

Ok, OK, I know that I must be "that" guy.  It MUST be my fault.

It is not your fault, like everything else in this world now, It is Trump's fault! 

[MikeB60]

Still happens in Harris County Georgia!

[lkraus]

I don't really expect a thank you, but if you ask for help, do take the time to report back and tell us how the problem was finally resolved.  We don't learn anything if a question arises with multiple possible answers but we never find out which one worked.

 

FWIW, I generally don't like to be "let out" into traffic. It usually means that the right-of-way rules are being suspended, using forms of communication that are open to misinterpretation (waves, flashing lights, simply not moving forward, etc.).  If a collision results, it will be my responsibility, not the Good Samaritan's. I can't be "let out" unless other traffic, which has a reasonable expectation of the right-of-way, is being held up. I've never been in a situation where I could not get out by being patient and waiting for the way to clear. Saving a minute for one vehicle by inconveniencing everyone behind you is not being helpful.

[TEWKS]

The joy you could give somebody enjoying a piping hot Egg McMuffin, is lost forever.  

 

I will say this, it’s sometimes an uncontrollable action of mine. And sometimes, just as I motion them to proceed, they look the other way. 

[RogerC60]

53 minutes ago, lkraus said:

FWIW, I generally don't like to be "let out" into traffic. It usually means that the right-of-way rules are being suspended, using forms of communication that are open to misinterpretation (waves, flashing lights, simply not moving forward, etc.).  If a collision results, it will be my responsibility, not the Good Samaritan's. I can't be "let out" unless other traffic, which has a reasonable expectation of the right-of-way, is being held up. I've never been in a situation where I could not get out by being patient and waiting for the way to clear. Saving a minute for one vehicle by inconveniencing everyone behind you is not being helpful.

 

This!!! ^^^

 

Suspending traffic rules for the sake of "showing kindness" isn't really showing kindness at all.

[taylor1]

It still kind of irks me to this day when I wait to hold a door open for someone and there is no acknowledgment. Sometimes common courtesy goes a long way, and sometimes it doesn't     

[John Ranalletta]

32 minutes ago, taylor1 said:

It still kind of irks me to this day when I wait to hold a door open for someone and there is no acknowledgment. Sometimes common courtesy goes a long way, and sometimes it doesn't     

 

So, you do it for the reward and not as an unreciprocated gesture of kindness and courtesy?

Don't take offense.  Just making the point that all of our actions or failures to act are based on meeting our needs.  If the person for whom you hold the door has nearly the same needs, s/he is likely to respond in a way that makes sense for you.  If one does it because "that's what I was taught to do" then, the lack of an acknowledgment is unnoticed.  Ever notice when thanking someone, s/he might respond "no problem" and not "you're welcome"?  The message is, "you don't need to thank me".  Likely, that person would not have been bothered by a lack of acknowledgment or gesture of gratitude and is less likely to thank others unless it was a part of their upbringing.

Courtesy and expressions of gratitude are social lubricants.  Some people don't need oiling so they don't oil up others.  We tend to believe others are like us, so we act toward them as we want others to act towards us.  Often the assumption is incorrect.  

[MichiganBob]

30 minutes ago, John Ranalletta said:

"Social lubricants" Interesting concept.

 

[John Ranalletta]

8 minutes ago, MichiganBob said:

 

 

Would you prefer "Social K-Y Jelly"

[taylor1]

I personally do it as a common courtesy as that was how I was raised. Just as how I was taught to say please and thank you. It was also instilled in me to acknowledge kindness of others. I do believe it is part of the backbone of a civilized society. If it were reward driven, I would have stopped long ago out of disgust. LOL Though I do get your point.

[John Ranalletta]

1 hour ago, taylor1 said:

I personally do it as a common courtesy as that was how I was raised. Just as how I was taught to say please and thank you. It was also instilled in me to acknowledge kindness of others. I do believe it is part of the backbone of a civilized society. If it were reward driven, I would have stopped long ago out of disgust. LOL Though I do get your point.

 

Whenever I hold a door for older people and they say, "Thanks", I reply, "Thanks, nothing.  That'll be a dollar please!"  Always gives them and me a kick.

[taylor1]

1 hour ago, John Ranalletta said:

That'll be a dollar please!"

Well John , at least you said please

[John Ranalletta]

5 hours ago, John Ranalletta said:

 

Would you prefer "Social K-Y Jelly"

BTW, did you hear about the newlyweds who didn't know the difference between K-Y Jelly and window putty?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All their windows fell out.

[Lowndes]

I let people out in traffic (sometimes).  I like to let trucks come over when they need to.  I DO NOT let people out who are trying to force their way out.  Took off two side mirrors one day in very slow heavy Atlanta traffic, one of mine on an old Ford Taurus and one from a very snazzy little GTI and hotshot kid who thought he could intimidate an old codger in a beater.  Wow, was he mad.  I pretended not to see what happened.  He was still shouting and waving last I saw of him.  I just remounted my mirror with the same sheetrock screws that were holding it on to begin with.

 

I held the door at the gym yesterday for two young ladies who were coming behind me.  The last one said "Thank you" and I quietly said, "you're welcome." to both of them.  I do it 'cause my momma told me to do it and I think of her every time.

[TEWKS]

Oh ya, the ones that try and demand the break, nope, won’t get one from me.  See, I guess I’m not as nice as I thought.  

[John Ranalletta]

1 minute ago, TEWKS said:

Oh ya, the ones that try and demand the break, nope, won’t get one from me.  See, I guess I’m not as nice as I thought.  

 

What about the rolling roadblocks trucks create to control cars jumping a merge?  Believe it or not, it's a personality issue.  Why?  Well, it's just not fair to jump the line.

[MichiganBob]

I refuse to concede civility. Not big on lecturing, but every once in a while, a line is crossed and rude behavior warrants a response. I was raised in the Bronx but spent a lot of time in Kansas (Rock Chalk Jayhawk). Sometimes I channel my Bronx directness and sometimes I'm just a good old ah shucks Midwesterner. It's a gift having both modes available.

[Hosstage]

12 years of Catholic school, I was taught manners. Oh boy, was I taught manners!

[TEWKS]

 

 

1 hour ago, John Ranalletta said:

 

What about the rolling roadblocks trucks create to control cars jumping a merge?  Believe it or not, it's a personality issue.  Why?  Well, it's just not fair to jump the line

Kinda like the theme park scooter cheats. Excuse me, pardon me, oh, did I just run over your kid’s toe?  They can hop their ass off the scooter lickety-split and jump on the ride but can’t wait in line. Wow, I think in this short conversation I went from Mr. Nice Guy to Mr. Arsehole.  That’s it, nobody gets anymore traffic breaks from me! 

[Lowndes]

I've come to think differently about it.  Having "good manners" is what we call "Good breedin'" down here.  It's taught to you by your parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and good family friends to every kid beginning at a very early age.  Has to be that way.  It's very hard to teach young knuckleheads like me which side the fork goes on, say "yes, ma'm" to what every female says, and to say "please" and "thank you".  So, it's not really the person's fault they didn't get any breedin' when they were sprouts, it's OUR generation that didn't teach them.

 

Now, whenever I meet a very good young person with manners and some gumption, I'll wait for a quiet moment and ask them for a little favor.  They'll look kind of puzzled and consent.  "Next time you talk to your parents, tell them I said 'Good Job' ."  And then when they look puzzled at that I just tell them, "They'll know what I'm talkin' about."

[MichiganBob]

I've given a lot of conference presentations on five generations in the workplace.  For fun, when the audience is mainly Boomers, i start talking about those damn Millennials and how they are lazy and entitled and such (which is an unfair characterization).  I could see all the nodding and smiling in the audience until I say that I only have one question, who in the hell raised them? Smile gone.

[Hosstage]

Every generation is disappointed in the next generation. Those damn kids nowadays don't have a work ethic, they don't respect their elders, their music sucks, blah blah blah. Same story, as you say, for five generations. And the ten before that. That Mozart kid, writing "music". You call that music? Now Wagner, that was music!

[MightNotBeThere]

If someone doesn't say thank you when I think they should - for example if I hold a door for someone -  I've found that a fairly loud "you're welcome" gets the point across.

[Rotor]

When I patronize a store or business, they no longer thank me for supporting them.  Seems I’m required to thank them for the privilege of being there…  Sticks in my craw.

[Rinkydink]

I am guilty on impending lane closures to play dumb…but, “Oh you wanted over”? to nimrods that saw the sign a mile and a half back that their lane was closing but wait until the last second to pull the Dale Earnhardt and force their way in.
 

Nope. I figure eventually they may learn something. 
 

George Carlin said it best:

 

”Ever notice when someone is driving too slow you call them an idiot but when they’re driving too fast you also call them an idiot?”

[MightNotBeThere]

I've never understood that way of doing things over here, when a lane closed.

 

There's absolutely no need whatever for the traffic to stick to one lane. At the point where the second lane closes, simply grow a brain and 'zipper'.  One car from one lane, one from another.  That's how adults do it.

 

Unfortunately, for a country so totally dependent on automotive transport, the overall standard of driving is pathetic.

[Hosstage]

1 hour ago, Rinkydink said:

I am guilty on impending lane closures to play dumb…but, “Oh you wanted over”? to nimrods that saw the sign a mile and a half back that their lane was closing but wait until the last second to pull the Dale Earnhardt and force their way in.
 

Nope. I figure eventually they may learn something. 
 

George Carlin said it best:

 

”Ever notice when someone is driving too slow you call them an idiot but when they’re driving too fast you also call them an idiot?”

I think it was the driver going too slow is an idiot, the driver going too fast is a maniac!

 

For the record, when on the bike I run right up to the cones before sliding in. Started doing it in the car too, "zipper" style.

We get the big trucks sometimes hogging two lanes to prevent it, but I'm patient, I'll still work my way around.

Having ridden in Europe, they've got driving figured out, we here in the US mostly suck at driving.

[Rinkydink]

2 hours ago, Hosstage said:

I think it was the driver going too slow is an idiot, the driver going too fast is a maniac!

 

For the record, when on the bike I run right up to the cones before sliding in. Started doing it in the car too, "zipper" style.

We get the big trucks sometimes hogging two lanes to prevent it, but I'm patient, I'll still work my way around.

Having ridden in Europe, they've got driving figured out, we here in the US mostly suck at driving.

The Carlin “quote” was loosely translated of course.
 

I’m all for the zipper method but when only 10% of people participate it doesn’t work that well.