THE PERFECT BIKE!

[Whip]

IMHO

 

There isn't one

 

If there was it would have/be:

 

125 Hp...at the rear wheel.

19 and 17 wheels

500 pounds dry

Hard bags

300 mile range..(I could live with 250)

No ABS

Conventional forks and shocks. (no ESA)..Ohlins or similar.

Fuel injected

32 inch seat height

6-8 inches of suspension travel

Brembo brakes ... not linked

Comfortable for two up with a Corbin/Sargent seat..(or comparable)

Integrated GPS with aux input for a V1 and Iphone (every new bike should have this)

Wet Clutch, 5 speed (6 is a waste on every bike I have ever owned)

Air cooled

No Tupperware

Manually adjustable windshield

Quiet motor

Adv Bike riding position

Chain drive

 

 

$15,000.00

 

 

 

Your turn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[RandyShields]

KTM 790 Adventure comes pretty close.

[szurszewski]

But if you had the perfect bike that’d take all the fun out of looking for the perfect bike!

[Yeeha Stephen]

Close

.

.

and close...

[fourteenfour]

chain drive and perfect bike are not possible together

[TEWKS]

It doesn’t exist so let’s imagine in a flight mode.  
This dream goes back to childhood, give me a motorcycle that operates the same as any, until you press a button and twist the throttle. Airborne you are. 
 

Busy cities, crossing Kansas, cop chase, just hit that button! 

[mickeym3]

Never bonded with the African Twin, good bike though. Sold and almost went orange (the 790 Adventure is a hoot, suggest a test ride and see for yourself) but after regretting selling the GSA I should pick up my GSA “lite” (850 GS Adventure) next week.  I’ll vote after getting acquainted but agree finding the perfect bike is pretty much pointless, something else will eventually catch your eye. 

[Whip]

12 hours ago, RandyShields said:

KTM 790 Adventure comes pretty close.

I think the 2004-2014 950/990 ADV was closer but I like the 790.

[Whip]

6 hours ago, CommuterChris said:

chain drive and perfect bike are not possible together

 

please elaborate?

[scout6]

At the price, you can get a whole bunch of them.    

[roadscholar]

Not 125hp (or 500lbs) these two were good all rounders in their day, and still not bad.

 

[szurszewski]

1 hour ago, Whip said:

 

please elaborate?

They're messy and make weird noises?

[Tpoppa]

The perfect bike can't have tubed tires.

[roadscholar]

1 hour ago, Tpoppa said:

The perfect bike can't have tubed tires.

 

Good point, I’ve had three rear flats on that 800 and rode it about 40 miles each time (slowly) to get where it could be repaired.

[fourteenfour]

5 hours ago, szurszewski said:

They're messy and make weird noises?

 

a perfect bike would eliminate as many maintenance items as possible, belts are more than sufficient for those who do not want a shaft drive. plus as mentioned by another, tube tires are a no no.

[Rinkydink]

57 minutes ago, CommuterChris said:

 

a perfect bike would eliminate as many maintenance items as possible, belts are more than sufficient for those who do not want a shaft drive. plus as mentioned by another, tube tires are a no no.

Belt drive and gravel roads don’t mix well in some circles. +1 on tubeless tires

[Marty Hill]

14 hours ago, TEWKS said:

It doesn’t exist so let’s imagine in a flight mode.  
This dream goes back to childhood, give me a motorcycle that operates the same as any, until you press a button and twist the throttle. Airborne you are. 
 

Busy cities, crossing Kansas, cop chase, just hit that button! 

Pat, you need to take flying lessons.

[Whip]

3 hours ago, CommuterChris said:

 

a perfect bike would eliminate as many maintenance items as possible, belts are more than sufficient for those who do not want a shaft drive. plus as mentioned by another, tube tires are a no no.

 

Chains have come a long way. They are not nearly has maintenance intense has they used to be and I like to change the gearing of my bikes every now and then. 

 

Tubeless is nice but not mandatory for me. 

 

[Whip]

9 hours ago, roadscholar said:

Not 125hp (or 500lbs) these two were good all rounders in their day, and still not bad.

 

 

The 950 is very close once you put the 19 and 17 on it and the fuel injection in the 990 worked good. It didn't have the power but it was around 500 pounds. Those 44 liter monster tanks gave it plenty of range. I never owned the 800 so I can't comment. 

 

[Tpoppa]

7 hours ago, roadscholar said:

 

Good point, I’ve had three rear flats on that 800 and rode it about 40 miles each time (slowly) to get where it could be repaired.

Right, tubeless tires can be plugged anywhere with an $8 kit.  Patching a tube requires more time, effort, and tools.

[Hosstage]

You're killing me with that 32" seat height. I'd have to get on it like I did trying to get on a 26" ten speed bicycle when I was a kid, John Wayne style hopping onto a running horse.

[Whip]

12 minutes ago, Hosstage said:

You're killing me with that 32" seat height. I'd have to get on it like I did trying to get on a 26" ten speed bicycle when I was a kid, John Wayne style hopping onto a running horse.

 

Anything shorter would eat into the suspension travel and therefore would not work good off the pavement.

[AZgman]

My perfect bike would have an electric motor, weigh 500 lbs, and have a 500 mile range on a charge...

[Rinkydink]

Low seat height, plenty of low end torque, notice rear sprocket. Will climb tree if you can maintain traction. Good on road or off, keeping in mind expansion chamber ground clearance. Built in mosquito repellent, Not too loud, decent suspension travel. Anti butt pucker seat.—>(See second downside below.) Fun factor 10

 

Downsides?  

Parts availability next to nil, only 161 units made. No brakes, compression release only. Shift lever on throttle side ala early British bikes. Turns better left than right. 
 

[Hank in WV]

Looks like a flat tracker.

[Ponch]

No more than 600lbs, air tight quick detachable luggage that can stow a FF helmet, 250-300 mile range, 125hp/90t, at least 5" of suspension travel, cruise control, ABS, UJM/Adventure riding position, decent wind management and very simple to maintain, meaning mostly just oil changes and tires. No desmos, no taking half the bike apart to pull cams to adjust valves and if there are valve clearance checks, at least no more often than every 18k miles and no expensive special tools needed to maintain it. 

[Whip]

8 hours ago, Ponch said:

No more than 600lbs, air tight quick detachable luggage that can stow a FF helmet, 250-300 mile range, 125hp/90t, at least 5" of suspension travel, cruise control, ABS, UJM/Adventure riding position, decent wind management and very simple to maintain, meaning mostly just oil changes and tires. No desmos, no taking half the bike apart to pull cams to adjust valves and if there are valve clearance checks, at least no more often than every 18k miles and no expensive special tools needed to maintain it. 

 

That ain't too bad.

[szurszewski]

27 minutes ago, Whip said:

 

That ain't too bad.

Didn’t he just describe a 1200 GS? Could you get one with cruise control? Or even you 1150, really....

[Whip]

I think he is close to an 1150 GSA except the Hps and Torque, cruise control, and not sure the 1150 ABS isn't more dangerous than helpful.

 

[Ponch]

2 hours ago, szurszewski said:

Didn’t he just describe a 1200 GS? Could you get one with cruise control? Or even you 1150, really....

No. It doesn't have the range, wind management a airtight quick detachable luggage that can stow a FF helmet and simple maintenance/long intervals for valve checks. An adventure would be slightly closer, but the special tools for valve check is a turn off. Maybe Polaris will come out with something that fits the bill, although they are stuck with the cruiser look a little too much. I have a 2009 RT now and it kind of fits the bill. My worry is as it ages and parts succumb to heat and age as BMW isn't known for good plastics. I've already had the throttle body pulleys go. The one bike that probably comes the closest is a 1200 Tenere. If I was shorter and had a better back, maybe a FJR with bar risers and peg lowering kit, but that requires disassembly for valve checks, but they aren't that often and from what I hear, all that necessary. Unfortunately there is no perfect bike available for me. 

[szurszewski]

1 hour ago, Whip said:

I think he is close to an 1150 GSA except the Hps and Torque, cruise control, and not sure the 1150 ABS isn't more dangerous than helpful.

 

Our 1999 LT had good factory cruise, and I have seen that adapted to an 1100S, so I bet it could work with a 11xxGS as well...

 

 

[Whip]

C C is not important to me

[John Ranalletta]

7 hours ago, Whip said:

I think he is close to an 1150 GSA except the Hps and Torque, cruise control, and not sure the 1150 ABS isn't more dangerous than helpful.

 

Especially when you’re on the brake and the back wheel leaves the ground for a split sec; then, no brakes...

[Whip]

1 hour ago, John Ranalletta said:

Especially when you’re on the brake and the back wheel leaves the ground for a split sec; then, no brakes...

....or you pull up to an intersection in the rain and run over a man hole cover....then end up in the middle of the intersection praying for Devine intervention. 

[roadscholar]

11 hours ago, Whip said:

I think he is close to an 1150 GSA except the Hps and Torque, cruise control, and not sure the 1150 ABS isn't more dangerous than helpful.

 

Find a pre '02 and put a big tank on it, they have normal ABS that always works,  coincidentally I know where there's an '01 not getting used much anymore. 

 

 

 

 

 

Or an '02 Adventure sans ABS, one of only two in the US without when I got it (not sure about others but there weren't many).