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Mensa's new words


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Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:




1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.


2. Ignoranus : A person who' s both stupid and an asshole.


3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.


4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.


5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.


6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.


7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high


8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.


9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.


10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)


11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.


12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.


13. Glibido : All talk and no action.


14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.


15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.


16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.


17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.




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Get a brain, morans in Mensa! No. 12 violates the rule. Either that or Rocer made a typo and din't check his work...major points off.


And now that we know Rocer is in Mensa, let's ask a genuinely hard question:


Who put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop?

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OK I'll bite, what is a moran?


There's a famous photo of a guy allegedly protesting something either holding a sign or wearing a t-shirt (I forget which) which says "Get a Brain, Morans!", meaning, of course, morons. Google it and you'll get a zillion hits. I was making a lame attempt at humorously tweaking Mensa.

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Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

That's the 2006 list with one alteration. The 2006 list had 18 with "Hipatitis: Terminal coolness" as the 10th entry (before Osteopornosis).


#12 (on this list) isn't spelled wrong, it does violate the rules though. There are actually a couple of rule-breakers in the list.


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Someone sent me this a couple of years ago, it is along the lines of the new words.



Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to

its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply

alternate meanings for common words.


The winners are:


1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.


3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.


5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.


6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly

>answer the door in your nightgown.


7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.


8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.


9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are

run over by a steamroller.


10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.


11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.


12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by



13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.


14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with



15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,

when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


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So if this is the 2006 list, who's got the current one?
I don't think there's a "current" one.


BTW, it has nothing to do with Mensa either. It's the Washington Post's "Style Invitational" challenge. They actually run a challenge every week. This one gets a lot of Internet posting/forwarding with erroneous attributions.

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