From North of the Border

[Lets_Play_Two]

A view of life in Canada, sent to me by a Canadian friend.

 

"Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

 

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

 

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

 

A. It's money the federal government will send to taxpayers.

 

Q. Where will the government get this money ?

 

A. From taxpayers.

 

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

 

A. Only a smidgen of it.

 

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

 

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a High-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

 

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

 

A. Shut up.

 

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

 

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

 

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

 

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan or China .

 

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Chile, Honduras and Guatemala.

 

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

 

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

 

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

 

 

Instead, keep the money in Canada by:

 

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

 

2) Going to ball games, or

 

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

 

4) Beer or

 

5) Tattoos.

 

(These are the only Canadian businesses still operating in Canada)

 

Conclusion:

 

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute you met at a yard

sale and drink beer all day!

 

 

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help."

 

[SageRider]

[marcopolo]

Enjoy it for the humour, but in case you're thinking there really is such a thing as an "economic stimulus payment", there isn't (unless that's his euphemism for a tax refund). More importantly, we'd go to hockey games, not ball games.

[Polo]

Enjoy it for the humour, but in case you're thinking there really is such a thing as an "economic stimulus payment", there isn't (unless that's his euphemism for a tax refund). More importantly, we'd go to hockey games, not ball games.

 

Just a Joke where you can plug any ethnic group or collective you choose to victimize or rib.

 

I for one chose to spend my stimulus on Tecate, puta$, tacos and sombreros at the bullfights.