Heaviest Element Known to Science

[ltljohn]

I wish I could quote a source but I forgot where I found this.

 

The Heaviest Element Known to Science*

 

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

 

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

 

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

 

This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

 

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[lawnchairboy]

[Kathy R]

 

+1

[cali_beemer]

Funny!

[BFish]

It may have more morontrons than neutrons.

[yabadabapal]

I did the math in my head. The final number = morons squared.

Not possible I thought. So I checked it on a calculator.

Its true. You have the discovered the heaviest element known to science. It could sink us all if we don't start thinking for ourselves.

[sgendler]

If progress means 'gradual improvement or growth or development, then what term would you use for the opposite effect?

[Calvin (no socks)]

John, the Morons have reached critical "Mass" and may sling a few more particles in 2 years.

[KDeline]

I can't find this on the Periodic Table of the Elements.

[ltljohn]

I can't find this on the Periodic Table of the Elements.

 

It's too heavy and it broke the table.

[UberXY]

In Somalia they have a great abundance of the lightest element known - Anarchium.

[Finitw0]

Certain morons also attract "debtons" which resemble the ever allusive "freeons" but carry a much greater mass and are found abundantly in most areas where high spending is not an apparent concern.

 

 

Verrrrrrry Nice... ignore my corny comment.

[Mike]

So . . . am I a moron or a peon?

[David]

So . . . am I a moron or a peon?

 

That's a tough choice.

[Kathy R]

Does any of this have to do with Chaos Theory ?

[Albert]

So . . . am I a moron or a peon?

 

As I understand it Mike, after peons spend enough time held in place by morons their money is depleted and they degrade to "peed-ons".

[Les is more]

Yes, but there is always the possibility of promotion to morpeon.

[Mike]

So . . . am I a moron or a peon?

 

That's a tough choice.

 

Ouch!