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A Pregnant Rider's Dilemma


moshe_levy

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We (meaning my wife Terri and I) are seeking the wisdom of our elders in deciding what to do with Terri's bikes. She has a 1971 R60/5

 

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and a 2004 R1150R

 

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I got her "into" motorcycling in 2005 and she's been an avid rider since, joining me on a 10,000 mile cross country tour last year, 800+ mile days, and weekend jaunts all year since she started. She's become my riding partner, a real trooper, and I rarely go out alone anymore as she's always willing to ride.

 

We found out recently to our great joy that she's pregnant. On one hand, the practical sides of each of our brains consider her two motorcycles and are screaming out: "SELL THEM! SELL THEM!" For obvious reasons.

 

On the other hand, perhaps a few years down the line she'll feel the urge to take a short trip, and be bikeless. In her mind, keeping the bike is better than selling and "maybe" buying later. In my mind, most mothers I know who ride philosophize about what they will do, but once the baby really comes, the riding stops as the "responsible" genes kick in. I have an emotional attachment to all of our machines, and hate to see them idle in storage if I can help it.

 

Just wondering what some of you ladies with kids out there have done, or what their husbands have recommended. I'm ready to support her in whatever decision she makes with her bikes, but curious as to what happens to mothers riding "in reality." Thanks.

 

-MKL

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WOW!!!......I thought we had discussed everything.

 

I don't think anyone is qualified for advice on this subject.

 

It's all gotta be up to you.

 

:wave:

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When Tanner our son was born, neither of us wanted to give up the joy of riding and we wanted our Son to enjoy it also.

 

Result: Sidecar. We just added a "Spirit of America" sidecar to our Harley Chopper.(modeled after the David Mann sidecar centerfold in Easyrider's magazine)

 

We took the "T.dog" everywhere with us. We went camping and touring; we went on serindipity weekend rides where we didn't know where we were going, but just took off. We had great family camping/fishing trips all over the Sierra's and belonged to Bingham's sidehack club.

 

Memories that have become very dear to all of us. Tanner still talks about those great trips, and he is 30 now.

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First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Now for the advice............

 

SELL THE BIKES!!!! Immediately! You are going to need room in the garage for all the plastic crap that comes along with kids. Every time she goes into the garage she'll feel guilty about all that money tied up in toys she doesn't use. You are going to need a bigger car. A college fund. A diaper pail. A crib......... Formula is friggin' EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!!!!! There will be no time to ride due to band recitals, baseball games, birthday parties, book clubs, ballet, soccer, and school plays. You will be exhausted, broke, and the house will be a wreck!

 

Now take a deep breath and STOP! Does anything that I just said offend her? Does it eat at her inner core? Is she an unbelievably committed rider and nothing will stop her from riding? Do you have family close by to babysit? Does she love the machine, the wind, the smells of springtime. Is it in her blood, part of her soul? Then DON'T SELL THE BIKES!!!

 

Welcome to the rollercoaster of parenthood :/ You are going to LOVE it :thumbsup:

 

 

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Lets_Play_Two
When Tanner our son was born, neither of us wanted to give up the joy of riding and we wanted our Son to enjoy it also.

 

Result: Sidecar. We just added a "Spirit of America" sidecar to our Harley Chopper.(modeled after the David Mann sidecar centerfold in Easyrider's magazine)

 

We took the "T.dog" everywhere with us. We went camping and touring; we went on serindipity weekend rides where we didn't know where we were going, but just took off. We had great family camping/fishing trips all over the Sierra's and belonged to Bingham's sidehack club.

 

Memories that have become very dear to all of us. Tanner still talks about those great trips, and he is 30 now.

 

No advice from me, as Whip said very few qualified and IMHO they need to be female!! But the above sounds like a GREAT idea for consideration.

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Riding while pregnant is probably a no-no but consult a doctor to be sure.

If this is your first child then I and others will tell you life as you know it stops after the child is born. The life of the child takes precedent over anything else you do. Certainly rides for her and you will decrease since child seats are not available for motorcycles yet. You will not find enough time to ride because responsibility to that child eliminates any chance of pleasure riding. Additionally..and this depends on your relationship...going out for a weekend ride without your wife might create problems in your relationship. Some wives could feel slighted if they stay home to take care of the child while you go out and have fun.

Many members here and me included temporarily gave up motorcycling to raise a family. I did not give it up because I had a responsibility to "stay alive and healthy" to be a responsible parent. I gave up motorcycling because I simply did not have the time to pleasure ride.

Fortunately I could compensate for my desire and need to ride by riding a police motorcycle when my children were young.

The few times my wife and I could take a ride together was when child care and/or grandparents could be arranged to watch the kids.

Neither one of us felt motorcycling was being an irresponsible parent.

Whether you need to or want to sell the bikes has to be a personal decision based on finances and the probability your wife won't be riding much..if at all for the next few years. You may need to sell yours too.

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I think I'm the first grandparent to weigh in; and, as such, if my daughter-in-law asked that question of me, I'd say, "Sell the bikes", but I'd offer that counsel for any activity that I thought might put the baby's health, happiness, parents or safety at risk.

 

Having offered that counsel, I would not press the point were she to continue riding because that's a very personal decision.

 

From a $ point of view, it depends upon your financial ability and desire to store wasting assets for a future date.

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Your life is about to get much more complicated. Adding, "Gee, when are we going to go riding next?" is just added pressure. Pushing the stroller is more fun, and free.

 

Embrace responsibility, sell the bikes and hope to get others in 5 - 10 years. Bikes are bikes forever, but a baby is only a baby for a very short time.

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Here's an unqualified comment. At least keep the slash 5. I think it would be harder to replace than the R. It certainly won't lose much value (if at all) in keeping it even if it doesn't get ridden for 2-3 years.

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Congratulations on the good news! :thumbsup:

 

Of course, this is her decision but in my experience I ride a LOT less than I did before our son was born. I still ride about 14K per year, but I do less weekend trips. He is two now and we have another on the way, so I'm facing the whole "should I be riding a motorcycle" dilemma again. It's a tough call.

 

I find that I WANT to spend as much time with my family as possible, so the weekend trips are less appealing than they used to be. My wife has almost no interest in riding with me now. It's really hard for new mothers to leave their child. One of the things that surprised me about fatherhood is the strong desire to be with him. With other people's kids I was happy to spend time with them and even happier to go home! :)

 

I'd sell the r1150r and keep the classic for occasional rides. The 1150 will continue to depreciate for the next few years while it sits unused, but the r60/5 will at least hold it's value, probably even appreciate.

 

Congratulations again,

 

Mike

 

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All-

 

Good advice so far. It's my second baby - her first. I know what y'all are talking about with regard to having NO time once it's born. Terri's a pediatric nurse so she knows what it's about too, even though this will be her first.

 

I hear you about my not being able to take thousands of pleasure rides while she's home child rearing - I don't think that's what a good daddy does anyway. But once in awhile, it's OK. I've got to stay connected to the sport, if not by riding every day than by restoring, wrenching, writing, etc. We'll see how she feels about it.

 

Please keep your thoughts coming - we can use the advice.

 

-MKL

 

PS - Re sidecars, we live in New Jersey, the most densely packed state with the absolute worst drivers (well, except maybe Pennsylvania!). So I don't think taking the kid out on the bike is going to happen. You have go through TERRIBLE traffic just to get out to the country, and it's not worth the risk riding here.

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Your life is about to get much more complicated. Adding, "Gee, when are we going to go riding next?" is just added pressure. Pushing the stroller is more fun, and free.

 

Embrace responsibility, sell the bikes and hope to get others in 5 - 10 years. Bikes are bikes forever, but a baby is only a baby for a very short time.

 

That's excellent advice. :thumbsup:

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Lone_RT_rider

Let me hit this from a bit of a different perspective. Some of the fondest memories I have as a child have been the rides that we as a family used to take. That's right, the entire family. My father and I on one bike (1973 Honda CB500 four) and my mother and my brother on another bike (1973 Honda CB350 four). I grew up with motorcycles in the family. To me, it's as natural to have them around as little league would be to a small boy here in the states. It gives me a special perspective on life that not many others have. Not many other mothers were near as "cool" as my mom was. If she really loves riding as much as it sounds like, then I agree with others when they say to keep the airhead.

 

Being a mother may, or may not steer her away from riding but don't assume that just because she is a female that this will automatically happen. Enjoy this time and all that life has given you..... but most of all.... Conagrats!!! :)

 

Shawn

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Well, I am a new mom and a rider, so I guess I am qualified to weigh in here. That said, the answer is "I don't know"! I am going through the dilemma myself, right now.

 

I actually have been a little afraid of the street bike of late (since before I was even pregnant) given the unfortunate passing of two of our dear friends in motorcycle accidents. That fear hasn't magnified since the baby was born, but it's still there. However, I get sad when I think about selling the street bike, and I figure it's paid off, and buying another later would be pretty expensive if I ever change my mind, so I hold on to it.

 

We actually got in to dirt biking when we thought we were about ready for the kid thing. our thinking was that it was an activity the whole family can easily do (when he's a little older, of course!). Maybe something like that would be good? Or is she a street rider through and through?

 

Also, I aint gonna lie; trying to take a ride together is going to be REALLY hard when they're little...separately, you can do, but together requires some advanced planning, so be prepared for the end to spontanaeity! My other dilemma, especially since going back to work...I don't WANT to leave him! I now get precious little time with him, and he's only little once, so bikes take a back seat.

 

BUT, bikes are a big part of both our lives, and since the kid has our genes, I assume it will be a big part of his too. It's taken a back seat for now, but I think it will come back to the front burner before too long. I envision happy times camping, riding and shooting bb guns in the desert, you know?

 

So the bikes stay for us, even if they have to wait.

 

Good luck with the decision. It may be a few months after the baby is born until she has a clear idea of what she wants to do. Deciding now isn't wise. Wait til you meet the new little person, and figure out how he/she impacts you.

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On one hand, the practical sides of each of our brains consider her two motorcycles and are screaming out: "SELL THEM! SELL THEM!" For obvious reasons.

 

On the other hand, perhaps a few years down the line she'll feel the urge to take a short trip, and be bikeless. In her mind, keeping the bike is better than selling and "maybe" buying later. In my mind, most mothers I know who ride philosophize about what they will do, but once the baby really comes, the riding stops as the "responsible" genes kick in. I have an emotional attachment to all of our machines, and hate to see them idle in storage if I can help it.

 

Part of the answer is in your quote above. You instinctively want to sell. But then the logical part comes into play about "what if."

 

This being your first (didn't you just marry this girl? Geez you're worse than Wurty at a New Zealand shearing contest) it is going to change your lives in ways you cannot imagine. As you mentioned, the sense of "responsibility" now comes into play. Only it won't come into "play." It will hit you like a load of bricks. Both of you. Even you will question the wisdom of exposing yourself to the street given the life you've created and must jointly nurture.

 

Bikes are metal and rubber. The attachment (even for my Boston Green RT) is one we create in our minds. Sell now and begin the adjustments that will come. You can always buy other bikes later.

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If you do decide to sell, consider putting the money aside in a separate bike fund. That way you're not selling to use the money on something else, but selling because of a safety/time issue. And, it'll make it easier to get back into riding if you decide to.

 

My wife Julie has always been a passenger, so she didn't have to make that choice. Back when she was pregnant with our first, I wasn't riding much (26-27 years ago), but I was snowmobiling a ton, and she continued that during the entire term.

 

The only thing I noticed is that when we wiped out, she definitely rolled further. :grin:

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My wife is expecting in May. We realize she won't be riding any for at least another year, maybe longer since we may try for a 2nd kid sooner than later. But I don't want to completely give up riding and she's perfectly fine with that.

 

My opinion... find a compromise. Sell one of her bikes, but keep the other. I'd lean toward hanging onto the older, more classic bike with less electronics. I have a feeling it will "store" better mostly unridden.

 

Just realize that for a few years you will ride a lot less, long trips probably won't happen, but I wouldn't give up on it altogether. That's what I'm counting on.

 

I think BMW's seem ot age well and there's plenty of support and parts for older machines... so if they aren't ridden much, no worry, they'll be there when you're ready and you won't have to worry about trying to justify spending more cahs later for an unknown used bike.

 

If you sell them now, stick that money in CD or some place where you won't spend it.

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We had this happen 4 1/2 years ago. We had two bikes and she was always my riding partner. We sold all our bikes to get in house to start the family. We had twin daughters. I lasted 6 months before I got another bike. She has never gotten another. We both wish she still had her bike. I think she loves being a mother over riding. She continues to go on rides with me not as much. I would at least keep one bike and not sell both. Riding is fun, but being a parent rocks.

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My advice is just to wait, she'll decide in due time. It may be a while after the baby comes before either of your feelings really take shape here.

 

As an AVID rider and new dad, I can tell you what my experience has been. My son is 19mos. The first year was a whirlwind and a blink of an eye. Almost zero riding for fun, we were just caught up in the daily life, caring for the baby, keeping house, working, coming to grips with our new roles and the effects of the baby in our relationship.

 

By the time I felt like I'd caught my breath, my son was no longer an infant (interactive!) and I found I began to guard my time with him even more. Like Lisa mentioned, I'm realizing that when I do have a (rare) opportunity to go ride, I'd really rather be with my son. I still ride here and there, and I relish that time too, but it's nowhere near as frequent as it used to be and that's fine by me.

 

Feeling this way is a bit of a surprise to me, honestly. It's clear to me that I don't really have much of a say, there are millions of years of instinct shaping my perspective.

 

But I'd keep the /5 regardless :)

 

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In my mind, most mothers I know who ride philosophize about what they will do, but once the baby really comes, the riding stops as the "responsible" genes kick in.

 

 

 

Congratulations... :clap:

 

 

Sell the 1150 and keep the R60 for those rare days she will be able to get out for a short ride.Maybe she will continue to ride or maybe not,but at least the option for a ride will be open

 

You will lose more monies from depreciation on the 1150,than on the R60,which will just appreciate in value,so it could be sold later should she chose to.

 

 

Cold Turkey is not a good thing..

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You didn't mention what your support network is like. Do you have relatives (especially Grandparents!) who are dying to babysit at the drop of a hat? Years ago, we had the only grandchild on both sides of the family and a full cluster of single aunts from my wife's side. The boy was lucky he learned how to walk with so many people wanting to pick him up and carry him. When he got a little age on him, we'd pack him off to Atlanta for a month and my wife's family would pass him around. He was a good excuse to see Disney World, the Zoo, Six Flags, etc. After that, he was old enough to ride on the back of a bike. So, if you've got good support that you trust with your bundle of joy, you can sneak in some selfish quality time.

 

To my way of thinking, no matter how dedicated you become to raising kids, at some point you have to go back to being yourself. When that happens (usually in the Spring), it would be nice to have a bike in the garage to do it with.

 

 

 

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great news, congrats. sell and start the college fund if so inclined. you may find your riding dipping a bit, but there is so much joy in your children it won't matter.

 

 

PS....they grow up fast.

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There's got to be a way to adapt a baby car seat to the back seat of a motorcycle..... Kevlar scuff pads at the corners, gimbal mounted rocket parachute system with ground proximity detector, windscreen to keep the bugs out of the mouth (no matter how much baby may like to put said bugs into mouth...), I want to go faster button wired to rider....

There's got to be a way... (and there are probably enough engineers on this site to make it happen if so desired...)

 

 

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Sage-

 

I got pulled over once for something similar. Was transporting my daughter's "booster seat" from her grandmother's house to mine, bungeed to the back of my RT. State Trooper on the New Jersey Turnpike pulled me over and asked "Just what the hell are you thinking??" I politely told him I was just transporting the empty chair, and had no plans to put my daughter in it. Seemed to satisfy him.....

 

-MKL

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Congrats, you lucky dog!

 

My two cents is that if you can afford it, keep the bikes. But also play it by ear. Your opinions on what to do will change about as fast as everything else in your world.

 

My personal opinion is this: You should show your kid(s) by example that they need to pursue the activities they love (this is really only important when they're a little older). You may need to change HOW you ride, but do your best not to throw in the towel completely. My own folks stopped doing stuff when us kids started showing up, and it turned out to be a really unhealthy move. Ugh, lucky me....

 

Certainly don't ride with that baby in the oven. But you don't need to be told that.

 

 

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There's got to be a way to adapt a baby car seat to the back seat of a motorcycle..... Kevlar scuff pads at the corners, gimbal mounted rocket parachute system with ground proximity detector, windscreen to keep the bugs out of the mouth (no matter how much baby may like to put said bugs into mouth...), I want to go faster button wired to rider....

There's got to be a way... (and there are probably enough engineers on this site to make it happen if so desired...)

 

 

Right but bad traffic. Maybe start with the Ural sidecar with the machine gun mount, and a trip to a gun show for the proper weapon farkle.

 

On the other side, a friend's wife stopped riding after a married couple (bikers) that she knew were killed by a broadside car hit. She doesn't want her children to be orphaned, like her friends are.

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Sage-

 

I got pulled over once for something similar. Was transporting my daughter's "booster seat" from her grandmother's house to mine, bungeed to the back of my RT. State Trooper on the New Jersey Turnpike pulled me over and asked "Just what the hell are you thinking??"

 

-MKL

 

I think the appropriate response would have been "she was there at the last fuel stop!"

 

Congratulations Moshe. Tell Terri we said the same. When is she due?

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I think the appropriate response would have been "she was there at the last fuel stop!"

 

I was trying to think of a way to say the same thing in a way that didn't have Leslie reaching through my screen with a proverbial sledge hammer! :grin::thumbsup:

 

Please also add my congratulations to both Moshe and Terri!

Wishing both of you luck in whatever decision you arrive at....

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On the other side, a friend's wife stopped riding after a married couple (bikers) that she knew were killed by a broadside car hit. She doesn't want her children to be orphaned, like her friends are.

 

Fortunately they each ride their own bikes so the risks of them both being hurt are probably less than if they were in the same car, probably a lot less.

 

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Well, I am a new mom and a rider, so I guess I am qualified to weigh in here. That said, the answer is "I don't know"! I am going through the dilemma myself, right now.

 

I actually have been a little afraid of the street bike of late (since before I was even pregnant) given the unfortunate passing of two of our dear friends in motorcycle accidents. That fear hasn't magnified since the baby was born, but it's still there. However, I get sad when I think about selling the street bike, and I figure it's paid off, and buying another later would be pretty expensive if I ever change my mind, so I hold on to it.

 

We actually got in to dirt biking when we thought we were about ready for the kid thing. our thinking was that it was an activity the whole family can easily do (when he's a little older, of course!). Maybe something like that would be good? Or is she a street rider through and through?

 

Also, I aint gonna lie; trying to take a ride together is going to be REALLY hard when they're little...separately, you can do, but together requires some advanced planning, so be prepared for the end to spontanaeity! My other dilemma, especially since going back to work...I don't WANT to leave him! I now get precious little time with him, and he's only little once, so bikes take a back seat.

 

BUT, bikes are a big part of both our lives, and since the kid has our genes, I assume it will be a big part of his too. It's taken a back seat for now, but I think it will come back to the front burner before too long. I envision happy times camping, riding and shooting bb guns in the desert, you know?

 

So the bikes stay for us, even if they have to wait.

 

Good luck with the decision. It may be a few months after the baby is born until she has a clear idea of what she wants to do. Deciding now isn't wise. Wait til you meet the new little person, and figure out how he/she impacts you.

 

First off congrats......

 

Second, I think that there is some great advice here from the board, given that Lisa is a new mom and a rider she offers some of the best advice. It is a personal desision between you and Terri but, If it were me I'd the newer bike and keep the older one. It is paid for and if the support network is in place you and her can break away for a short ride once in a while it will do wonders for her.

 

 

Dave

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I have your answer: No need to sell, just leave them both at my house. :grin: They'll be safe (maybe) and maintained so-as-to be ready when she wants to ride again. ;)

 

Sorry, I know you're seriously looking for advice. I just couldn't let it go. I just scanned most of the posts so forgive me if someone else already offered.

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Keep the bikes.. She'll need one to decompress on while you are taking care of the baby every now and then. Babys are stressful and having a way to get centered is a good thing, the when babys are school age and mom drops them off at school on the bike kids cool factor goes sky high. You guys don't want to deprive the child of it cool factor now do you? Really, some of my best memories are of being on bikes with my father and we had a closeness that I never developed with my mom... Keep them, or if you want my wife will gladly babysit the bikes here in Vegas for her...

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what he said

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Now for the advice............

 

SELL THE BIKES!!!! Immediately! You are going to need room in the garage for all the plastic crap that comes along with kids. Every time she goes into the garage she'll feel guilty about all that money tied up in toys she doesn't use. You are going to need a bigger car. A college fund. A diaper pail. A crib......... Formula is friggin' EXPENSIVE!!!!!!!!!!! There will be no time to ride due to band recitals, baseball games, birthday parties, book clubs, ballet, soccer, and school plays. You will be exhausted, broke, and the house will be a wreck!

 

Now take a deep breath and STOP! Does anything that I just said offend her? Does it eat at her inner core? Is she an unbelievably committed rider and nothing will stop her from riding? Do you have family close by to babysit? Does she love the machine, the wind, the smells of springtime. Is it in her blood, part of her soul? Then DON'T SELL THE BIKES!!!

 

Welcome to the rollercoaster of parenthood :/ You are going to LOVE it :thumbsup:

 

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Keep one of the bikes, sell the other.

 

You can exercise the bike for her once in a while...or better yet, you won't have to, she'll be riding herself.

 

Having a child doesn't mean YOUR lives stop. If she enjoyed riding before, she'll still enjoy it. The both of you will have less time to ride, making your rides more "dear" to you. Everyone needs a break from their kids...no matter what the age.

 

If you start "living only for the child", your lives get boring very quickly. A child should enhance your life, not enslave you.

 

Just an opinion,

 

Dan

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Congratulations.

This will become clearer in time.

Prepare for the new baby.

Make the home ready.

When your new family member comes home you will have to make many adjustments, all of them worth it.

At that time riding may become less important, or not.

You can always sell a bike later.

Best wishes for a great 2009.

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russell_bynum
Your life is about to get much more complicated. Adding, "Gee, when are we going to go riding next?" is just added pressure. Pushing the stroller is more fun, and free.

 

I'm sorry, but pushing the stroller is not anywhere near as much fun.

 

 

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russell_bynum
My advice is just to wait, she'll decide in due time. It may be a while after the baby comes before either of your feelings really take shape here.

 

 

+1

 

You're not going to get diddley squat for either bike right now anyway. Prep them both for long-term storage and just see what happens.

 

 

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Sell the kid.

 

Don't think we haven't tried that in our house! :grin:

 

And the duct tape only holds sooooooooo long..... :dopeslap:

Saran wrap is better, and prevents freezer burn! :grin:

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I have pretty much a similar post to a previous one . I have a 21 month old daughter . In the beginning I rode a lot and didn't realize what I was missing with my daughter growing up . I came home after working very long hrs for about two weeks ,she was sleeping when I left for work and when I came home . When the project was over I came home normal time . And couldn't believe what I missed . I mostly ride to and from work now a few short weekend rides . I have been riding since I was like 8 so it is tough but seeing my daughter grow up is much better .

My advice ,if you can keep both bikes and enjoy both 7-8 yrs goes by fast the 3 of you can be riding together . Dave

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Who owns her bikes? If I posted a thread asking if we should sell her bike, I would never have the chance to make another baby...

 

If you own them together and have to make a corporate decision you may want to consider the carrying costs of the bikes versus the cost to sell now and buy again later...costs time, money, wear and tear on the brain.

 

Generally, I find the carrying costs are lower. In CA, for example, you can put a vehicle on PNO (Planned Non-Operation) and drop the insurance. Cheap to hold onto something that way.

 

Congrats!!!

 

bb

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Hard to say. Right now, it's probably safe to say she'll probably want to give up the bike for a while. However, in a few years you can ride together again. In fact, I just posted my ride trip about my trip I took with my wife and our ten year old daughter over Christmas. Made for a wonderful trip.

 

Wayne

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Everybody is different so I think you will have to decide for yourselves. A couple of points I haven't seen made yet.

 

Recreational riding is probably out, but a bike makes an good second car in some climates. Maybe not in New Jersey. When my kids were growing up, we had a car for when we took them anywhere, and I had a bike for when I had to go somewhere alone.

 

If you are only going to keep one bike, I would argue for the oilhead. The safety factor of modern brakes and handling would outweigh the nostalgia of the /5 for me. And I had an R60/5 for 20 years and 175,000 miles.

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