Bayport Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 It's been a while but it's nice to see some of the same folks still lurking about. I see that Marty's still here - HEY MARTY! So, after the R1100RT that I bought from Marty, I bought a Moto Guzzi California Titanium and then a Honda VFR800A ABS. Moto Guzzi bought the Titanium back due to so many mechanical failures (still loved the bike though) and I sold the Honda because I was riding at a comfortbale pace probably not suited for the roads (closer to a sport bike than sport-tourer), at least on one particular four-day trip. I came home after that trip and sold the bike. Not because of an mishaps or scares but because I thought it best to focus more on my family and being around for hopefully the longer term. I told my wife I was selling the bike and she broke down crying, relieved that it was going to be gone. She never said a word all those years up until that point. Bless her heart. That being said, the RT was by far my favorite and I rode the bike responsibly. The bike was my wife's favorite as well. It was well equipped too from a safety perspective (probably the main reason she liked it so much). The RT brought out the best of my "risk management" abilities. I miss it and I miss riding terribly. The desire to ride has never subsided and I wonder how much longer I should ignore it. It's been almost three years since I sold the VFR and the desire to ride just gets worse over time. I rent a Harley every now and then but it's not the same. It's really terrible. Reading that post about the father/son trip on the RT/GT really emphasizes the feeling of loss. I don't have a son but would love to take each of my girls on a long trip when they're older. Maybe I'm just having a midlife crisis since I'm turning 40 this month. Year after year I fight the temptation to buy another RT. The bug bites hard in Spring and Fall and I just wait it out. No one in my family wants to see me on another bike. My wife would be generally "accepting" of it just so long as it's an RT and I keep the riding to a minimum. Life's full of difficult choices. This is one of 'em - at least for me. Other than the obvious milestones and family memories we all have, riding makes up the majority if not all of my best memories - by far. I'm wondering if that's too much to give away. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law (nurse and doctor - work in Atlanta) are by far the most outspoken and against bikes. They see many folks come in as a result of motorcycle accidents. I try to explain to them that it's different and that they're seeing the 100MPH lane-splitting crotch rocket crowd, or the new rider retiree on a HD, or the commuter crowd, but they don't really care to get it. This motorcyle bug under your skin is a real curse. Maybe it would help if I stopped reading all of your posts. Slow torture... So, I feel a bit better. Thanks for lending me your eyes. Jim
ninermatt Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Reading your post makes me feel fortunate that my wife grew up in a motorcycle environment, she was literally strapped to the back of a bike since she was way to small to be on a bike! But those where different times I guess. She also worked for a variety of different dealerships (thats how we met) Japanese, HD etc. and until recently has been involved in the power-sports industry. I stopped riding for a bout 2 years sometime back and she was the driving force behind getting me back on two wheels as well as me purchasing my first of three BMWs. That being said, I fully understand your wifes concerns. It takes a certain kind of woman to understand the passion that we as motorcyclists have for our machines. Once its in your blood there is no cure, nothing else is quite the same.
Rob L Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Tell your wife and friends that you are going to take up skydiving or bungie jumping, etc. Then mention how much you miss riding a motorcycle.......it might work
Marty Hill Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Hey Jim, Glad your alive and well. Hope you can solve your little situation. I have no advise. Don't want to cause you any trouble.
Tapatio Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I think you might be suprised at how sporty the R12RT can be. It's no slouch when it comes to performance. When it comes to safety I feel the rider has the greatest responsility. Certain features make a bike safer but ultimately the rider is the biggest factor. Passion and committment are admirable virtues. You have already demonstrated that you are coommitted to your family, you shouldn't feel guilty about following your passions. All this being said I have always tried to live my life according to the moto "Whatever you do, do it in moderation”.
tallman Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Oh, I see Marty has already replied. I was going to suggest he drops by and wins people over with his wit, charm, intelligence, and good looks. But, I see he doesn't want to get involved , so I'll make this suggestion. Tell her/them that you're going to ride again. You'll do all the right things (ATGATT, MSF, practice, no alcohol/drugs and riding, etc.) and see how you feel about it. If you want to continue, then so be it. If you decide (for whatever reason) it's not for you, then they promise not to nag you forever about your testing the waters. Until next time. I know how you fell and hope it can be resolved in a positive manner. Best wishes.
Bayport Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 I think I might rent another HD for my 40th birthday and see how I feel about getting back into the saddle. Make no mistake, I have no issue with riding and never would've stopped but for the responsibility of family. I'll see if it's a risk I'm willing to take. At the same time, I'll ask the wife to think about how she's feeling while I'm out and about for a few days up in North GA, TN and NC. Then, we'll compare notes and I'll see if she's willing to take the risk if I decide it's one I'm willing to take again. Sounds fair to me. I hate renting bikes... Ownership is a big part of the enjoyment. Anyone up for a ride possibly next week or the week after?
MrHondamatic Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Does your wife enjoy riding with you? To get her on board with the idea of another bike, you might want to consider getting her on board the bike. If she sees herself a a participant in the fun, she may change her thoughts. If she sees herself as the stay at home baby sitter, you may have a tough row to hoe.
Bayport Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Wife LOVES riding. Just won't get on anymore because of the kids. Wife's cool with riding. Afterall, she sent me to racing school all those years back and rode with me all of the time before kids. She'll be back on once the kids can take care of themselves. It's all about the kids right now and ensuring they have at least one parent and hopefully two as they grow up. That's all this is about. I'm insured and all but still, the thought of no husband an no father for the kids is what's at the heart of the matter for my wife. Can't say I blame her. She knows the deal. She's been involved in the racing scene and street thing for many years. She's seen many wrecks and worse at the track and on the street. There's no BS'ing this lady. She also knows I'm a good rider. So, she'd accept it if I said it's what I wanted to do. She realizes it's a part of who I am. She knows I'm a different person after a long ride - relaxed, no stress, happy, attentive... In other words, a good husband (not that I'm a bad husband so no pot shots). She doesn't overlook the mental benefits in "man retreating to his cave," which for us is the bike and the road.
ninermatt Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 Can't say I blame her. She knows the deal. She's been involved in the racing scene and street thing for many years. She's seen many wrecks and worse at the track and on the street. There's no BS'ing this lady. My wife was a claims adjuster for a large motorcycle insurance company and has seen her fair share of carnage as well. After some of the stories I've heard her tell I am amazed thats she's as cool as she is about me on the bike let alone the fact that she doesn't have a problem when I take either of the kids out with me.
Bayport Posted July 10, 2008 Author Posted July 10, 2008 Matt, That's cool to hear and what I'm looking for. How long you been riding and how old are the kids? You ever wrestle with the decision I'm trying to make? Jim
ninermatt Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I guess its been pretty close to twenty years now. Where did all the time go? Seems like just yesterday making that final $100 payment on my 72 cb350 to my buddy's older brother (paper route money)! I have an 11 yr old boy who has been getting on back for the last five years now and my 5 yr. old daughter who up until a few months ago wouldn't even look at my bike, let alone entertain the thought of riding. Till one day after I picked her up from school asked "Daddy, when can I ride on your motorcycle?" I have to tell you I was thrilled. So much we ran out and got her a helmet immediately, which she promptly decorated with "Hello Kitty" and flower stickers! As I had eluded to earlier I had stopped riding for a couple years, I had come to the conclusion that there were just to many idiots on the road and that they were all trying to kill me. So I sold my ZX9R and stuck to the cage. The funny thing is that it took the Harley Davidson 100th anniversary to really make me realize how much I missed it. I mentioned it to my wife and she came home from work the next day with a picture and some info about a bike a guy in her office was selling. It had to be the ugliest motorcycle I had ever seen! It was a 1996 R1100GS, but when I test rode it It was love at first sight and I've been hooked on boxer motors ever since. Quite honestly I have never considered not owning a motorcycle since I took it up again. I need it to much. It is my whole way of unwinding and stress relief its almost therapeutic. When I'm on my bike I am totally focused on the here and now, what my machine is doing, If the car up there is going to pull out in front of me, hitting the perfect line through the sweeper up ahead etc. My wife on the other hand, has somewhat lost her enthusiasm for the ride. Maybe it was all she saw at the insurance company or a level of responsibility to be there for the kids should something happen. Or maybe its just that it doesn't provide the same thrill for her that it once did. I don't know. That being said, I can still count on her for a few good afternoons out of the years to hope on back and pretend that we are just kids without a care in the world.
motoguy128 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 It sounds liek the most rational decision is to wait a few more years for hte kids ot get older so you can enjoy riding wiht being the "rebel" in you're family. I think you have to respect that your wife enjoys riding, but feels that at this time, it's not the most responsible activity. My wife and I are looking ot have kids soon and I must admit, I'll be hesitant for both of us to get on a machine while we have young children. It's one thing for one of use to be badly injured or killed, but it increases the likelihood that both of us will be gone. You can make a similar argument for a car, but a car is 1) a nessesity to go places, 2) with the modern safety features they now offer, I think even the most severe crash would be unlikely to kill both occupants. Maybe the best thing is just ot rent one every now and then. Another alternative would be to get something, smaller, with all the safety features, yet more nimble and not somthing you'll want ot take long trips on. Just get your fix once a month on some country roads... in FULL ATGATT. Maybe that's a compromise. Look at an F800ST, F800GS, or an SV650 with ABS. The GS looks the least intimidating.
Selden Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 I think I might rent another HD for my 40th birthday and see how I feel about getting back into the saddle. Why not rent a BMW? As far as I know, Blue Moon still rents bikes; don't know about BMWoA.
Haynes Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 My wife's complete acceptance of me riding again has been promoted by the improvement to her lifestyle since having the bike. We do much more travel and meet so many great people on the road. Until we became long distance riders, most of our destinations were taken from our Local Country Restaurant Guide where my wife enjoyed a nice quiet lunch. These rides were only ever taken in perfect weather. My wife enjoys some sewing/patchwork/quilting so we often appoint a country town with some materials for her hobby. She is gratified by the ride as the destination is her choice. I enjoy the ride almost anywhere. Our longer distance rides have added another dimension to her enjoyment. We often pick a country town that we have not visited before. We pick a few interesting activities to do. We finish the day in a good restaurant and the then stay overnight in a motel before taking the long way home the next day. I understand with small children that this doesn't exactly fit your life's profile but you could adopt some of the elements to help her see the benefits of you riding regularly. Does you wife feel safe riding with you? I have always said to my wife that if I ever demonstrate that I am no longer capable of riding safely, then I will stop. I have to say that your wife's attitude, although restricting to you, seem to have nothing but the preservation of the family unit as her interest. This is admirable and you should tell her so. I waited until my kids had left home and were self supporting before I made the move to riding again. If it turns out that you need to do the same, it will be worth the wait.
Pete Peterson Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well, I think I understand, BUT I surely don't agree.. You love to ride, its no secret from anyone.. You have insurance and I sure hope you know you are NOT going to live forever.. The good Lord can take you in your car Monday morning driving to work in your conservative 27 air bagged mini van... You only get one chance at living your life,,your wife gets her one chance and so do your kids... Be responsible and try not to push over the line to much but if you want to ride an RT or a custom built Jesse James special go for it!!!!!!!! keep a roof over everyones head and food on the table,, then go ride..... Damn I raised 5 kids did 20 years in the Corps and rode every day and most of them with beer on my breath,, But when I'm old and gray sitting in that rocking chair I will be what I lived with NO regrets............Pete.... (all wore out ,scrapped up, sliding in that cemetery smiling and hollering "Damn!!! What a ride").......
ninermatt Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Well, I think I understand, BUT I surely don't agree.. You love to ride, its no secret from anyone.. You have insurance and I sure hope you know you are NOT going to live forever.. The good Lord can take you in your car Monday morning driving to work in your conservative 27 air bagged mini van... You only get one chance at living your life,,your wife gets her one chance and so do your kids... Be responsible and try not to push over the line to much but if you want to ride an RT or a custom built Jesse James special go for it!!!!!!!! keep a roof over everyones head and food on the table,, then go ride..... Damn I raised 5 kids did 20 years in the Corps and rode every day and most of them with beer on my breath,, But when I'm old and gray sitting in that rocking chair I will be what I lived with NO regrets............Pete.... (all wore out ,scrapped up, sliding in that cemetery smiling and hollering "Damn!!! What a ride")....... Well said!
Bud Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 No sage advice from me. My doesn't ride. Doesn't mind that I do as long as the life insurance is paid up. However, I feel like I also have to share her passion, sailing, so we will be in Canada for the next two weeks and I didn't go to the UN and I won't be going to the MOA National either. After 41 years of marriage, we have learned how to get along. Being upfront and honest helps. I always admit that riding is a dangerous activity.
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