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When is this going to be over?


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The days are getting harder and harder for both of us. Patience is in somewhat of a shortage around here, on both parts, and it's just been almost 2 weeks. I can't imagine what people go through that have invalid partner that are that way for good. The frustration on both parties' parts must be horrific, at least until they come to terms with the situation.


I had to go to the superintendent's office this afternoon to pick up some disability papers they were holding for me. I just couldn't bring myself to turn around and come straight home. I wandered a little and realized that I hadn't had lunch yet, so stopped at Carrows for a salad, then saw the dessert menu! They have an incredible chocolate cake that I had no business finishing, but was desperate for the comfort that wonderfully dark stuff offers. After that, I returned home, with a little bit of a stomach ache (ah, it was worth it) and a little calmer temperament.


The cake didn't last long in it's pacification. The evening wore on in a tense, sometimes argumentative wave. We never argued before all this. We were always able to discuss things rationally and caringly. Now it seems like we argue almost daily. Mostly with me trying to get him to submit to being cared for and him not understanding why I want him to curb his activity. He's angry about what happened, I understand that. It's just hard to be the one around to catch all that.


Tomorrow afternoon we have an appt. with the orthopod and hopefully will get some idea of what the treatment plan will be. I'm worried because his right ankle, the one with the contraption on it looks more bent than it did last week. Maybe more swelling has gone down and I'm better able to see the damage. Not knowing just scares me more. I'm afraid that he's repeatedly put too much weight on it and it won't be repairable. The doctor was already upset about what Cameron had done to it before he saw it. The phrase "a very difficult procedure" echoes in my head all the time.


So I guess we're a couple of freaked out basket cases trying to maintain some sort of normalcy in all this. I just wish the appt. was in the morning, instead of 2:00 in the afternoon. It's going to be a long day.

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When I was hospitalized, it was very difficult for me and I also lashed out at everyone close to me. But even then I knew they where the ones keeping me going.


I'm very touched by your compassion and strength.


Best wished to you both.



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I completely understand. Frustration is often expressed as anger. What you two are feeling is normal and expected under the circumstances.


Add to that the unknown outcome and it can seem at times like your whole world is falling apart and there is nothing you can do.


Please feel free to continue to express your frustration here.


We are all rooting for you both.

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The role of caregiver is very often much more difficult than that of the patient. Also sounds like the meds are doing a lot of the talking. Hang in there; your doing a wonderful job.


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As hard as it was, when I was in the caregiver position, I had to constantly remind myself not to take it personally and that some things just won't make sense.


The arguments came out of us trying to put reason into a situation where reason had no place.


Everything that you both took for granted before has been temporarily taken away.


Time will heal both the physical and emotional wounds.


Continued strength coming your way from Kansas.

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It's nice you have a place like this to vent.

Keeping it bottled up would not be good for either of you.

Some day you will look back on this and while you probably

won't laugh you might smile. Good luck to both of you.

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I spent 10 years watching my mom go down with alzhimers. What pain and anquish my wife and I went through can not be described.



I understand what you are going through it is very hard to love and try to help when the other person is going through pain we may not understand ourselves.


Do what you are doing...get out sometimes and look at the world around you and seek out the warmth of it...Take help when help is offered, cry when you need to cry, and laugh when the chance is given.


You folks will make it throuh this set back and your lives will beome richer through the understanding of it. Time does heal...if you let it...


Peace be with you and "Talk" anytime you need to.... someone is listening.....

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........ Mostly with me trying to get him to submit to being cared for and him not understanding why I want him to curb his activity. .....


Unfortunately, Cam is going to have to understand that he's not the only one hurtin'. As Bill remarked, sometime these things are harder on the care-giver than the "victim".


Hang in there, and remember to take care of yourself also!

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