Tool Man Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I know that some of you may be considering the use of synthetic oil in your bikes. But you should beware of synthetic oil! It can do terrible things to you and your bike. It will not only leak out of your engine faster than you can put it in, but it will also cause your oil filter to clog and implode, dumping debris and dirt into your lubrication system. It also will make every part of your bike permanently slippery because of its linear molecular chain dispersion action. Then it will leak onto your kickstand causing it to retract automatically, dropping your bike on the ground! But that's not all... Synthetic oil will round off your gears and spin your bearings. It will also splatter onto your seat causing your girlfriend to fall off in the apex of a turn and she'll never ride with you again. Synthetic oil coats your sight window and your timing window with a whitish pro-emulsification additive that is both non-removable and highly corrosive. Synthetic oil will completely leak out onto the ground overnight and your dog will drink it and die. Synthetic oil will wear out your tires and make your battery leak. It will give you the desperate need to urinate after you put your full leathers on and then jam your zippers shut. It will contaminate your gasoline causing your bike to stall on railroad tracks and accelerate uncontrollably near police cars. It will make it rain during rallies and on weekends. It will lubricate four timing belts causing them to jump teeth and break your valves to bits. Synthetic oil chemically weakens desmodromic valves and causes the clearances to change every six miles. Then it melts the black soles of your riding boots night before you walk across your new carpeting. While riding past groups of attractive women it will cause both of your handlebar grips to slip off at the same time so you smash your windscreen with the bridge of your nose. It also causes your swingarm to crack, your studs to break, and your rotors to warp, and then it voids your warranty by changing your odometer reading to 55,555. It also dries out your wetclutch and wets your dryclutch. It makes your clutch slave cylinder seal fail in the heaviest traffic on the hottest day of the year while putting an angry wasp in your helmet for good measure. Synthetic oil hides your 13mm socket and puts superglue on your earplugs. Synthetic oil will scratch your faceshield and make your gloves shrink two sizes night before trackday. Synthetic oil will steal your neutral and sell it to the Chinese for £1.25. So let's be careful out there! Link to comment
RFW Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 All too true. Avoid it like the plague! It also causes impotence too. And scurvy. Link to comment
GordonB Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Hey Tool man! Haven't heard from you in a while How's life in the mountains? Link to comment
KDeline Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Hey Tool man! Haven't heard from you in a while How's life in the mountains? Can't you tell? Link to comment
BFish Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 ...but how many miles between changes.... Link to comment
tallman Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Mikey, Recent study has determined that it's not the synthetic oil that's the problem. It's the reaction between the synoil and the plastic containers. This reaction occurs after 259 days in the plastic. To prevent problems, please remove the synoil from plastic containers and store it in glass ones. While Mason Jars may seem like a good option with the wide resealable mouth, they are clear glass and a poor choice. Best results are obtained by using dark glass containers that can be sealed. Finding them is not a problem for most BMW riders. Link to comment
Tool Man Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 Hey Tool man! Haven't heard from you in a while How's life in the mountains? Couldn't be better...HWY2 just a mile a way and countless dirt riding miles available. Link to comment
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