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NYPD Traffic Stop: Head Scratcher Part II


Effervescent

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nypd.jpg

I was pulled over yesterday by NYPD for DWWTC I think (driving while wealthier than the cop).

 

Did nothing wrong, to the best of my knowledge. Honest. First thing outta LEO was that I was driving a "really nice car" (12 year old M3, probably not worth half as much as the new cruiser he's in :D ) , comments on my watch as well, and asked what I was doing in this part of town (midtown, west side...not exactly the hood eek.gif). Here's the part of the story where I should tell you I had about 2,000 condoms in the backseat of my car. Unboxed. (Work-related items). His partner's flashlight was checking out the interior of my ride and I'm thinking to myself "Please, not the condoms". Flashlight lands on condoms and homeboy asks, "What's up with that?". I tell him they are condoms. He suggests they are LSD tabs (they are in clear plastic bags lined up neatly, not really resembling condoms). He asks me if I have anything in the car I shouldn't have. I ask him if he means like contraband. He says yes. I say, "No, just the condoms". It's starting to get weird. I assure him they aren't drugs and offer to let him search my ride (though I didn't claim lube that I had too). He declines.

 

Though there's an edge to me now retelling the tale, I assure you I was nothing but please, thanks yous and respectful/polite the entire time. Including all windows down, paperwork out, ignition key on roof of car, hands out window from the get-go. Just to properly paint the picture, I'm in a suit and tie, with my hairstyle that day, and general appearance, I very much resemble Pee Wee Herman. In a sexy kinda way, I hope.

 

Then my phone rings. The ringer is Benny Goodman's Swing, Swing, Swing. It's set to 'very loud'. Then LEO gives me that blank "Are you not heterosexual?" kinda look. lmao.gif

 

He walks around the car, checking EVERYTHING. All my paperwork is kosher, I'm more puzzled than nervous at this point.

 

He hands me back my paperwork and says he's gonna let me off with just a warning. Except, he never actually warned me about anything. But was happy to head home. Scratching my head.

 

I think the combination of condoms and big band swing threw him for a loop. And for that, I'm thankful.

 

-Eff

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great read...i may be missing something, but the obvious question is 'what the F^%$# are the condoms for?' (i do know what condoms are predominatley used for). wave.gif

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...comments on my watch as well, and asked what I was doing in this part of town (midtown, west side...not exactly the hood ). Here's the part of the story where I should tell you I had about 2,000 condoms in the backseat of my car.
Eff,

 

I guess I don't mind being the one to ask (I'm sure everyone else would like to know). What kind of watch was on your wrist?

 

Mike O

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He hands me back my paperwork and says he's gonna let me off with just a warning. Except, he never actually warned me about anything.

 

Some classic standardized phrasing. It's the "What's up?" or "You know..." for cops!

 

Have fun and stay out of trouble. dopeslap.giflmao.gif

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"I'm in a suit and tie, with my hairstyle that day, and general appearance, I very much resemble Pee Wee Herman."

 

Are we talking pre or post Pee Wee's bust? Short a greasy or long and greasy? lurker.gif

 

lurker.gif Get it popcorn in a movie theater! lurker.gif

lmao.giflmao.giflmao.gif

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...comments on my watch as well, and asked what I was doing in this part of town (midtown, west side...not exactly the hood ). Here's the part of the story where I should tell you I had about 2,000 condoms in the backseat of my car.
Eff,

 

I guess I don't mind being the one to ask (I'm sure everyone else would like to know). What kind of watch was on your wrist?

 

Mike O

 

mbpower6.jpg

Monte Blanc Meisterstuck: and yes, there's a tale behind that as well.

 

-Eff

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"I'm in a suit and tie, with my hairstyle that day, and general appearance, I very much resemble Pee Wee Herman."

 

Are we talking pre or post Pee Wee's bust? Short a greasy or long and greasy? lurker.gif

 

lurker.gif Get it popcorn in a movie theater! lurker.gif

lmao.giflmao.giflmao.gif

 

PeeWee.jpg

Sexy Pee Wee.

 

-Eff

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That's actually exactly where I though the conversation was heading when he asked what all the condoms were about, and if I had anything in the car I shouldn't have.

 

-Eff

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With the car, watch, suit...and condoms, he probably thought you were a pimp! smile.gif

 

Or a management consultant wink.gif

 

smile.gif Yeah, it goes without saying.

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Monte Blanc Meisterstuck: and yes, there's a tale behind that as well.

===========================================================================

 

'cmon, do tell.

It's safe with us. Honest.

 

Nice post. Still though, 2K condoms?, that'd be a lifetime's supply for me and you carry that with you 'just in case?' WTF lmao.gif

 

Jurgen

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I would like to know what you do for a living that would require 2000 condoms.

<edit>

Dude - are you a porn star? thumbsup.gif

 

Here is a pic of my 19 year old M3 - the one I sold for my RT (69K miles, 2nd owner)

 

IMG_0882copy.jpg

 

I had these plates on for about 6 months....

mplate.jpg

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With the car, watch, suit...and condoms, he probably thought you were a pimp! smile.gif
2,000 condoms? He probably thought you were a very successful pimp.
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Dude - are you a porn star? thumbsup.gif

 

And one that looks like Pee Wee Herman?

 

 

Now I gotta clean off my screen from laughin' so much!

lmao.giflmao.giflmao.gif

Well I read his profile and it said "Occupation No one believes me when I tell them!"

 

Let it be known that I am straight, but Pee Wee is better looking than Ron Jeremy. Again, for the record....

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Monte Blanc Meisterstuck: and yes, there's a tale behind that as well.

===========================================================================

 

'cmon, do tell.

It's safe with us. Honest.

 

Nice post. Still though, 2K condoms?, that'd be a lifetime's supply for me and you carry that with you 'just in case?' WTF lmao.gif

 

Jurgen

 

The tale has been PM'ed to you. thumbsup.gif

 

-Eff

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I see your red e30M3 and raise you one carbon fibre ashtray. thumbsup.gif

 

-Eff

 

I dont need an ashtray - I designed my own gauge panel....

centerconsoleA.jpg

 

 

 

It is porn thumbsup.gif

 

 

<EDIT>

'95 M3 LTW-R

eek.gif

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I'll see your one gauge panel and raise you one Motorsport strut brace...

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-Eff

 

I see your six cylinder and show you a real M engine

 

valvecover1A.jpg

 

 

Just kidding smirk.gif

 

You gonna answer me mr porn?

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I'm still waiting to hear what the 2k condoms were for...I've played some VERY sick jokes in my time but, 2k condoms?????

 

They are for work.

 

-Eff

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I'm still waiting to hear what the 2k condoms were for...I've played some VERY sick jokes in my time but, 2k condoms?????

 

There are for work.

 

-Eff

Tell us the work - or atleast PM it to me while I reply to the above post....
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I'll see your economy engine ;) and raise you one Motorsport flag.

1041.jpg

-Eff

 

LOFL...

 

I see your flag sticker and raise you some racing history

 

Having won more road races than any other model in history, the E30 M3 is considered by many to be the world's most successful road race car. Its wins include the Deutsche Tourenwagen Meisterschaft, European Touring Car Championship and even the one-off World Touring Car Championship title in 1987. The M3 E30 is also a multiple winner of Guia Race, 24 Hours Nürburgring and Spa 24 Hours.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BMW_M3

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Okay Boys, it's been fun. I'm off to dinner and swing dancing.

 

Thanks for all the attention and wish me luck not getting pulled over! dopeslap.gif

 

-Eff

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I got both of you putzes beat.

 

Dig this....

 

image043.jpg

 

grin.gif

 

Looks like you did...They sell some $5 seat covers down at Checker Automotive, that would double the value of that car! smile.gif

 

Mike O

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I got both of you putzes beat.

 

Dig this....

 

Do you really have an e30? I have the factory repair manual on CD if you need it.

 

That M3 was my 2nd M3, and my 3rd e30. My 1st e30 was this

 

325dsfc.jpg

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russell_bynum

Is that a condom in the crack of the seat???

 

grin.gif

 

300,000 miles and the damn thing let me down this morning. Hopped in for my morning commute, and the clutch pedal was on the floor. Didn't have time to research it. Considered driving to work without the clutch, but remembered that the clutch and brakes share the same fluid reservoir and if I have a leak there, it could be a problem.

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Is that a condom in the crack of the seat???

 

grin.gif

 

300,000 miles and the damn thing let me down this morning. Hopped in for my morning commute, and the clutch pedal was on the floor. Didn't have time to research it. Considered driving to work without the clutch, but remembered that the clutch and brakes share the same fluid reservoir and if I have a leak there, it could be a problem.

 

It is the slave cylinder - piece of cake to fix. You can find it online for @ $25 If you need help, PM me thumbsup.gif

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Is that a condom in the crack of the seat???

 

grin.gif

 

300,000 miles and the damn thing let me down this morning. Hopped in for my morning commute, and the clutch pedal was on the floor. Didn't have time to research it. Considered driving to work without the clutch, but remembered that the clutch and brakes share the same fluid reservoir and if I have a leak there, it could be a problem.

 

You're right. The leak would be a problem, but isn't that what the condom is for?

 

Mike O

 

P.S. And skip the seat cover...probably not worth it. lmao.gif

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russell_bynum

Do you really have an e30? I have the factory repair manual on CD if you need it.

 

1985 325e.

 

Bought with 254K on the Odometer (but the odometer didn't work, so who knows how many miles it actually had). It had thrown the timing belt and had some engine damage. Bought a "new" engine, with 250K on it for $250. "new" engine had been removed from a wreck and sat outside for 2 years in the elements. I went to drain the oil and found a rusty sludge. Dropped it in the car, fired it up, drove it to the smog check station...and it passed. I've been driving it to/from work almost every day for 2 years now. 120 miles a day. I go pretty easy on it when it is cold, but once it warms up, all bets are off. It sees the rev limiter a few times a week at least. Last month, it passed the smog check again and it's running even cleaner than it was 2 years ago.

 

I've replaced the timing belt, water pump, motor mounts, and the radiator. While I had the engine out, I put in a new clutch even though it really didn't need it. Other than that, I've replaced all four wheel bearings and it got new pads and rotors at all four corners.

 

This spring it is getting a full suspension overhaul. Control arms, tie rods, springs, struts, shocks, swaybars, bushings, etc. Bavauto and TMS are going to freaking love me. smile.gif

 

The car gets 27-29mpg on my commute and is a blast to drive, despite the fact that the suspension is in such hideous shape due to years of neglect and the previous owner who thought he was a racer boy, and had the springs cut to lower the car. (Among other things.)

 

It has been "Rode hard and put away wet", so it is nowhere near as pretty as your E30's. But...I paid $300 for it. grin.gif

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russell_bynum

P.S. And skip the seat cover...probably not worth it.

 

I can add 10% to the value of the car in about 3 minutes...by filling the gas tank. lmao.gif

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russell_bynum

It is the slave cylinder - piece of cake to fix. You can find it online for @ $25 If you need help, PM me

 

That was my guess as well. Definitely an easy fix.

 

The clutch has felt a bit spongy lately, and the other day I saw some clear liquid that had dripped under the car. I wrote it off as condensation, or my leaky washer fluid reservoir, but I'm betting it was probably brake fluid.

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Russell, I just tried to (unsuccessfully) find the article, but you may be in line for a free BMW if you keep going and keep records.

 

Recently, there was a guy in WI who got a new, free Saab for driving his old Saab over 1,000,000 miles.

 

The only things he ever did to the car (I believe that it was a 900 Aero) was oil, filter, brakes and maybe a clutch.

 

You go, boy!

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russell_bynum
Russell, I just tried to (unsuccessfully) find the article, but you may be in line for a free BMW if you keep going and keep records.

 

Recently, there was a guy in WI who got a new, free Saab for driving his old Saab over 1,000,000 miles.

 

The only things he ever did to the car (I believe that it was a 900 Aero) was oil, filter, brakes and maybe a clutch.

 

You go, boy!

 

My E30 is not even anywhere close to special...these things go for bloody ever. If you're willing to do the maintenance yourself instead of paying the stealership to do it, they're also very cheap to maintain.

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I see your six cylinder and show you a real M engine

 

valvecover1A.jpg

 

Well, I'll see your "I can eat dinner from my engine bay its so clean" smile.gif with example of a 10yr old german car...

 

84152114-L.jpg

 

Though when a third party insurance assessor sums the car up as a 'POS', its amazing what a weekend of elbow grease and a nice location can do...

 

78388060-L.jpg

 

Oooo I'd really love an E30 cabrio... frown.gif

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AdventurePoser

Are these the fabled "New York" condoms I've been hearing about on the radio? Do they sport catchy "New York" style slogans painted on them like...

 

"You are here"

 

"This end up"

 

Or, "Faster than a New York Minute."

 

Steve in So Cal

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