Things not to ask the locals while in Gunnison

[Mike O]

My top ten list...

 

10. “May I sample the ‘Elixir of the Rockies’?” when asking for a “Coors” beer. There are far better beers to sample – see #3 below.

 

9.“I think I’ll have one of those ‘Frozen Dead Guy’ popsicles I keep hearing about.”, will likely to get you an odd stare since the ‘Frozen Dead Guy’ was a real “Frozen Dead Guy” from Nederland (for which they have an annual festival!) see Frozen Dead Guy

 

8. " Did you name the city after him?. No, John Deutschendorf named himself after OUR city (we didn’t name our city after him). And he was born in New Mexico, not here. (That’s John Denver, for folks that don’t know his real name).

 

7. “What happened to all the snow?” They're likely to tell you, "No, you didn’t get lucky the week of Un and all the snow melted." Contrary to popular belief, we’re not under 6 feet of snow 365 days of the year (although Gunnison is one of the colder spots in Colorado!). Just like Seattle with its rain, we let folks believe there is LOTS of snow.

 

6.“Hey, that Cartman character is from South Park. Can you tell me how to get there?” Who knows where you'll end up. South Park is a valley. A small vestige of it is left as a (not so great) museum is in Fairplay, Co. just off US285.

 

5. “I heard the Peoples Republic of Boulder is not far from here?” They'll gladly send you there! Just get on US36 from Denver and head west. (But you might want to remove that sheep skin seat cover before you cross into the city.)

 

4. “Is John Elway going to take Denver back to the Super Bowl?” Honestly, everyone in Gunnison would love to see that happen, but the locals have given up on that happening years ago. That’s a conversation stopper.

 

3. “May I have a ‘Fat Tire’?”, does not mean you want 50PSI in your front tire. It means you prefer to have a real beer from a micro-brew in Ft. Collins (not that other crap from Golden – see #10 above). While you’re in Gunnison, try one.

 

2. “Is there skiing on Crusted Butt?”… You idiot! That’s Crested Butte.

 

And the dumbest question to ask:

 

1. “Why are there no shells on these Rocky Mountain Oysters?” Make sure no locals have a mouth full food when you ask that, ‘cause you’re likely to get sprayed!

 

Oh and there are probably a few more I’ll think of, but I have to save some of the entertainment for the locals, now don’t I?

 

Regards,

 

Mike O

[SANTA]

RE #1 they must be similar species to kind up here... we call them prairie oysters...

 

so is a "flat Tire" a lager or an ale? always prefer the micro brew, over the bandit beer

[Joel]

so is a "flat Tire" a lager or an ale? always prefer the micro brew, over the bandit beer

 

Fat Tire

 

Mmm, mmm good. Fortunately, it is one of many fine home-grown options.

[DouglasR]

I seem to remember there's even a microbrewery in Gunnison that makes some pretty decent beer. I was trying to rehydrate after a long hot day of riding two years ago and things got pretty foggy after a while, so I don't remember the name of the brewery.

 

My Dad's family is from Gunnison and I've spent a lot of time there over the years. Many times it would be the low temp in the Nation because of inversions trapping frigid air between all the mountains. Some years the ranchers were lucky to get one cutting of hay between freezes... It's gorgeous and I can't wait to get back!

 

(My favorite sport of all time is skiing, and Crusty Butt is very very fun!).

 

Doug

[eakins]

i used to live in gunnison for 3 years. i doesn't snow very much there anyway. it's too cold and the clouds pass over. gunnison is in the dounut hole of sunshine alot. it's a high alpine desert.