Bless Your Heart

[RandyShields]

Moshe, great article "Bless Your Heart" in the current OTL magazine.  It took some strong personal reflection and the beginnings of self-awareness to go back and talk to Aida about her icy tone with that phrase.  Everyone can learn from your lesson.

 

(I wanted to post this in your forum, but it is not open to new topics.)

 

Randy

[Indy Dave]

A link by chance?

[MichiganBob]

I spent most of my life on the east coast and the Midwest. I was surprised to find out that when a southerner says "bless your heart" or something similar that it is not necessarily a kind wish or compliment,

[bendbill]

Another reader hoping for a link to Moshe's article.  I admire his writing.

[Rougarou]

I don't know the background of the story in Moshe's article, nor have I read the article, but I've never heard "bless your heart" "bless his heart", "bless her heart" and it actually mean something nice.  It's always been a sarcastic and icy toned phrase.

[taylor1]

I've never heard it used as a derogatory phrase.

[TEWKS]

[bendbill]

A slight digression involving BMW RTPs as I looked up OTL magazine posted by RandyShields.  The OTL website has a video on their blog about BMW RTPs in the 2021 Inauguration. 

*Mod has my "blessing" to move to a more appropriate forum.

 

While vid is about supply problems for delivering BMW RTPs for an inauguration, this nice vid of the BMW RTP escort runs from minute 4:04 to 5:08

 

 

 

[TEDZ]

Kind of like "well, ain't that special"

[Skywagon]

Don't be too cynical.  Yes some use bless your heart that way, but there are many who actually mean it.  I never heard my aunt say a bad word about anyone.  She was in church when the doors were open.  She didn't cuss, drink, or do anything I ever noticed as bad.  When she said bless your heart, she meant it.....as do many.  Don't assume the worse.

[TEWKS]

So, “isn’t he special” could have meant something good?  I heard that a lot growing up. 

[RandyShields]

That's the beauty of the phrase.  Depending on the tone of delivery, it can mean many things.

 

OTL (On The Level), is the magazine that comes with a BMW Riders Association membership.  Th Sept-Oct issue is now in the archives, and the link is below, but I don't know that those who haven't signed in on the website will be able to view it.  Perhaps Moshe can get permission to post it??

 

Randy

 

OTL – SEPTEMBER / OCTOBER 2022 Issue - BMW Riders Association (bmwra.org)

[Hosstage]

Need to be a member to view it.

[Lowndes]

Well, I was born and bred in The South, "Southern by the Grace of God." (genuflect).  In Atlanta, specifically, but before it went to hell, diluted by carpetbaggers and their ilk, afta th' wah of nawthn' aggression.

 

"Bless your heart." and "Bless his/her heart." can be used in several similar or parallel ways, in my experience and as mentioned above, Bless Your Hearts.

 

It's well documented and peffectly legal in all States South of the Mason-Dixon, in all social settings, that it is permissable to say anything about anyone present, absent, or even deceased as long as the phrase is included in the same breath.  It's most common use is to convey and suggest the message that the other person's thoughts, words, or actions however odious to the speaker were a possibly forgiveable transgression and are viewed with sympathy in place of outrage, up to and including a thinly veiled condemnation of the other's words or actions.

 

I guess it could be used sarcastically but we don't do that.

 

It can also be used (and was undoubetdly the progenetor to the above usage) in a purely sympathetic capacity as in a favorite Aunt on learning of your skint knee expressing sympathy.

[Rougarou]

Memba this?  I don't much think she was trying to "be nice".

 

[Lowndes]

She WAS being nice.  And in a vey clever, humorous, and Southern way.  

 

Member dat.

[9Mary7]

1 hour ago, Lowndes said:

Southern way

That exchange is Exactly the proper usage of the term....... Love it!

[Rougarou]

1 hour ago, Lowndes said:

She WAS being nice.  And in a vey clever, humorous, and Southern way.  

 

Member dat.

 

16 minutes ago, 9Mary7 said:

That exchange is Exactly the proper usage of the term....... Love it!

 

Ya, I see it as she was saying "you're a dumbass" or "fawk you",......is how I take the read,.....and how I've pretty much seen it applied,......as a nice way to go about things.

[Ponch]

On 9/22/2022 at 3:41 AM, RandyShields said:

Moshe, great article "Bless Your Heart" in the current OTL magazine.  It took some strong personal reflection and the beginnings of self-awareness to go back and talk to Aida about her icy tone with that phrase.  Everyone can learn from your lesson.

 

(I wanted to post this in your forum, but it is not open to new topics.)

 

Randy

 

I am from NY originally and prefer the transparent and non-passive aggressive approach we used there. You know where you stand without hiding behind pleasantries or really, phoniness. 

[Hosstage]

A coworker went from here in Minnesota, home of the friendliest F offs, to New York for a new job. 1st customer greets him and she says "don't F up my phone system, if you F up my phone system, I'll beat the shite out of you. I'm serious, do not F up my system, I'll F'ing kill you. What are you here to do anyway?"

He stammered some answer, she let him in, warned him once more and left him.

He slinked out, called the boss, and said no way, send someone else.

He lasted about two months out there.

[MichiganBob]

For some reason, that brings back a memory of my leaving the Bronx after high school to attend college in Emporia, Kansas. When I got off in the train station in Emporia, an elderly women in Bib Overalls and packing a pistol in a belt holster was walking toward me when she decided to blow her nose on her fingers and fling the residue onto a pole. I thought I had seen everything there was to see as an arrogant cocky New Yorker. Boy was I mistaken.

 

After almost a decade in Kansas, I got very comfortable with midwest civility. Of course it can be annoying when you want a straight answer. For example, "do you want to get some lunch?" "I guess I can go. I'm kinda hungry. I expect there will be something there for me. Only if you want to."

 

Yikes

[Lone_RT_rider]

On 9/23/2022 at 10:47 AM, Rougarou said:

Memba this?  I don't much think she was trying to "be nice".

 

I was living in SC when she said that.  It was absolutely perfect and spoke for both sides of the isle in SC.  :)  

[EdM]

So kinda like when someone starts by saying "With all due respect", you know that whatever follows offers no respect whatsoever. 

[RTinNC]

On 9/29/2022 at 2:34 PM, MichiganBob said:

For some reason, that brings back a memory of my leaving the Bronx after high school to attend college in Emporia, Kansas. When I got off in the train station in Emporia, an elderly women in Bib Overalls and packing a pistol in a belt holster was walking toward me when she decided to blow her nose on her fingers and fling the residue onto a pole. I thought I had seen everything there was to see as an arrogant cocky New Yorker. Boy was I mistaken.

 

After almost a decade in Kansas, I got very comfortable with midwest civility. Of course it can be annoying when you want a straight answer. For example, "do you want to get some lunch?" "I guess I can go. I'm kinda hungry. I expect there will be something there for me. Only if you want to."

 

Yikes

My mom was from Kansas (Iola to be specific)as a result we vacationed every summer in Eastern KS.   I love the small towns and “Midwest friendly” people.  I ride the Flint Hills region every chance I get and this past September my wife and I stayed in Cottonwood Falls and hiked the Tall Grass Prarie Trail.   Very neat!!

 

When I moved to Charlotte 25 years ago I was introduced to “bless your heart” and was soon schooled by a native Carolean that someone saying “bless your heart” to you is not a good thing.

[Yeeha Stephen]

On 9/22/2022 at 2:51 PM, taylor1 said:

I've never heard it used as a derogatory phrase.

.

Here in Texas, HMS home lending's Bob Levell spells it out for those that "ain't from around here."

 

 

[robbenfred50]